Any good jokes ... ?

[welsh dragon]

What do you call a gay dinosaur. Tyrana sore arse.

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur. Lickalotapuss.

 

[john59]

Be careful what you buy on eBay.

If you buy stuff on line, check out the seller carefully.

A friend has just spent £95 plus sales tax on a penis enlarger.

Bastards sent him a magnifying glass.

The only instructions said, "Do not use in sunlight"

 

[welsh dragon]

Ladies and gentlemen. I would like to offer my profound and sincere apologies, for posting the same cras and unfunny jokes a second time. I blame it on the Alzheimer's, and the fact that I went out on my bike this morning , which was the first time in oh I can't remember becuase of the ermmmm. What was I saying.

 

[Hitchington]

Ladies and gentlemen. I would like to offer my profound and sincere apologies, for posting the same cras and unfunny jokes a second time. I blame it on the Alzheimer's, and the fact that I went out on my bike this morning , which was the first time in oh I can't remember becuase of the ermmmm. What was I saying.

Don't worry, there are a lot worse jokes that have been posted on this thread

 

[vernon]

Don't worry, there are a lot of worse jokes and very few that are funny that have been posted on this thread

FTFY

 

[rvw]

A pub landlord offered me free drinks for 5 years if I could get down a couple of pieces of meat which were nailed to the ceiling.

I had to turn him down: the steaks were too high.

 

[ayceejay]

We have a 'like' button so perhaps we could have a 'groan' button especially for this thread.

 

[EltonFrog]

Don't worry, there are a lot worse jokes that have been posted on this thread

The thread title is ironic.

 

[palinurus]

 

[Maz]

I was flattered when a friend of mine described me as well-read.
What he meant, though, was I'd been out in the sun for too long.

 

[vernon]

My grandfather gave me a watch. It doesn't have any hands. He says that it is very accurate. I asked him what time it was. You can guess what he told me.

 

[Maz]

My grandfather gave me a watch. It doesn't have any hands. He says that it is very accurate. I asked him what time it was. You can guess what he told me.

Possibly, I'm like the watch - a bit slow.
i.e. I don't get it.

 

[Speicher]

My grandfather gave me a watch. It doesn't have any hands. He says that it is very accurate. I asked him what time it was. You can guess what he told me.

Time to buy a new watch?

 

[postman]

Didge you tell him what time it was.

 

[glasgowcyclist]

My grandfather gave me a watch. It doesn't have any hands. He says that it is very accurate. I asked him what time it was. You can guess what he told me.

You have no sense of humour?

GC