Any good jokes ... ?

[Salty seadog]

Well chuffed, I got a 9 on countdown today.

Then I was realised it was only 4 letters.

 

[Mr Celine]

First time I saw Rachel Riley on Countdown I got aroused.


Not bad, seven letters.

 

[guitarpete247]

Strange beer to the left of me, cheap biscuits to the right.


Here I am, stuck in the Lidl with you!

Looks like "Every Pregnant Brothers" lyric.

 

[Dave7]

I went to a garden centre yesterday and was just looking at the plants when I saw Michael J Fox opposite me.
I couldn't be certain it was him as he had his back to the fuschias.

 

[Cavalol]

I remember asking Lulu what the name is for a big hole in the ground you get water out of with a bucket. That's ten minutes of my life I won't get back.

 

[bruce1530]

(true story)
In the early days of Radio Clyde, they had a write-in competition.

“... and to win this fantastic prize, all you need to do is tell us the answer to one simple question - ‘Which Scottish singer sang Boom-Bang-A-Bang in the Eurovision song contest’. Send your answers on a postcard to Lulu Competion, Radio Clyde, Glasgow."

 

[EltonFrog]

I went to a garden centre yesterday and was just looking at the plants when I saw Michael J Fox opposite me.
I couldn't be certain it was him as he had his back to the fuschias.

Couple walking around a garden centre, husband says "isn't that a film star over there? There, by those flowers, isn't that Michael J Fox?"

Wife says "I can't tell, he's got his back to the fuchsias..."

Sorry ...

Thought I saw Michael J Fox in a garden centre today. Although I'm not entirely sure it was him - he had his back to the fuscia.

Nice to read that joke again.

 

[swee'pea99]

(true story)
In the early days of Radio Clyde, they had a write-in competition.

“... and to win this fantastic prize, all you need to do is tell us the answer to one simple question - ‘Which Scottish singer sang Boom-Bang-A-Bang in the Eurovision song contest’. Send your answers on a postcard to Lulu Competion, Radio Clyde, Glasgow."

Wouldn't it be wonderful if someone still managed to get it wrong - like Trigger in OFAH: "...and if it's a boy they're going to call it Rodney, after Dave."

 

[Dave7]

Nice to read that joke again.

Glad you enjoyed it.
Do you spend long trawling through the jokes thread?
Just let people enjoy it

 

[Cavalol]

I think we could be in for a bad spell of wether.

 

[glasgowcyclist]

I’ve been reading this thread for seven years.

Get a bloody telly then!

 

[glasgowcyclist]

Apparently they’re making a film about the life of Eddie Stobart.

I’ve just seen the trailer..

 

[PaulSB]

I think we could be in for a bad spell of wether.

Sometimes you're very funny, others........well?

This one is..........

 

[Freds Dad]

Awarded best joke at this years Edinburgh Fringe.

I keep randomly shouting out 'Broccoli' and 'Cauliflower' - I think I might have florets.

 

[Cavalol]

I have just bought a lovely old Chinese boat from a junk shop.