Any good jokes ... ?

[RoubaixCube]

Heres a joke... Complements of China

Spoiler

Really... What planet are we on?

 

[roadrash]

I was in the kitchen making a cup of tea for the wife, I said to her , "im having a biscuit with mine....do you want a KitKat chunky" I don't remember much after that, but have a corker of a black eye

 

[roadrash]

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes

 

[Andy_R]

Shamlessly stolen from elsewhere:

Boris Johnson denies wearing an earpiece in the House of Commons, although admits he does rely on a sneering aide.

 

[morrisman]

Today, I had to tell my suitcases that there will be no vacation this year.
Now I'm dealing with all sorts of emotional baggage.

 

[PeteXXX]

"The Invisible Man is at the door.."

"Tell him I can't see him."

 

[Mike Ayling]

IN AMERICA THE ECONOMY IS SO BAD THAT....

My neighbor got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
I saw a Mormon with only one wife.
McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.
Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.
A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico
A picture is now only worth 200 words.
When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.
The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates..
And, finally...I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security,
retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Afghanistan, and when I told them I
was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.

 

[PeteXXX]

The old ones coming out now Pete!

Dad, There's a bloke at the door with a moustache, tell him I've already got one!

Indeed! Beano c1967

"There's an electrician at the door"

"Tell him to go ohm"

😏

 

[SGG on a bike]

Had a strange day yesterday...found a hat full of money while walking through town and then got chased by an angry bloke with a guitar.

 

[Dave7]

I always wanted to be a millionaire just like my Dad.

He also always wanted to be a millionaire.

 

[Electric_Andy]

I went to a gardening shop and wanted some Wellingtons. I said to the cashier "can I try these out in that deep pond to see how they perform in wet conditions?" She said "yeah go on, fill yer boots"

 

[Archie_tect]

Indeed! Beano c1967

"There's an electrician at the door"

"Tell him to go ohm"

😏

...a Buddhist electrician, they are rarer

 

[Archie_tect]

"I've been thinking I should start playing the violin again."
"25 years I've known you and I didn't know you used to play the violin!!"
"I didn't, I just thought about it."

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator.

(only a fraction of CC'ers will get this)

 

[morrisman]

√(Sid James / Hattie Jacques)
= 3(Charles Hawtrey) ± Kenneth Williams
That’s the Bernard Bre’s Law