Any good jokes ... ?

[LeetleGreyCells]

Today I was told I live in a fantasy world.

I was so shocked, I nearly fell off my unicorn.

 

[Howyadoinoutthere]

There are 2 types of people in this world: those who understand binary

Or
There are 10 types of people in this world: those who understand binary and those who don't.

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

Mummy," asks Susie, "why do you always cut the ends off of the sausages before you put them in the pan?"

"Oh, that's just the way my mother always did it. You'll have to ask her."

"Granny," asked Susie the next time her grandmother visited, "Why do you and Mummy cut the ends off of the sausages before you put them in the pan?"

"Oh, that's just the way my mother always did it," says Susie's granny. "You'll have to ask her."

So the next time the family visited her slightly senile great grandmother at the nursing home Susie asked, "Why do you and Granny and Mummy always cut the ends off the sausages before you put them in the pan?"

"Oh, no," says Great Granny, "are they still using that stupid little frying pan?"

 

[Seevio]

Or
There are 10 types of people in this world: those who understand binary and those who don't.

And those that realise that the joke is in ternary.

 

[Tenacious Sloth]

And those that realise that the joke is in ternary.

Interminable more like. That’s at least the third time it’s appeared on this thread.

 

[Electric_Andy]

In my defence, mine was a multi-faceted adaptation of the old jokes. Firstly I used the numerical 2 instead of the binary term, and secondly I only acknowledged one out of the two types of people, the joke being that I had failed on two counts to tell the joke properly, but that was the funny part. So I think we can all conclude that I'm the funniest person ever, and the most grammatically correct. Your welcome.

 

[mistyoptic]

In my defence, mine was a multi-faceted adaptation of the old jokes. Firstly I used the numerical 2 instead of the binary term, and secondly I only acknowledged one out of the two types of people, the joke being that I had failed on two counts to tell the joke properly, but that was the funny part. So I think we can all conclude that I'm the funniest person ever, and the most grammatically correct. Your welcome.

Shame you fell at the last fence then

 

[LCpl Boiled Egg]

Shame you fell at the last fence then

That's the punchline...

"So I think we can all conclude that I'm the funniest person ever, and the most grammatically correct. Your welcome. "

 

[Electric_Andy]

Shame you fell at the last fence then

 

[Profpointy]

Despite the last few posts being a critique of a non funny non joke, here I am giggling !

 

[JPBoothy]

Mummy," asks Susie, "why do you always cut the ends off of the sausages before you put them in the pan?"

"Oh, that's just the way my mother always did it. You'll have to ask her."

"Granny," asked Susie the next time her grandmother visited, "Why do you and Mummy cut the ends off of the sausages before you put them in the pan?"

"Oh, that's just the way my mother always did it," says Susie's granny. "You'll have to ask her."

So the next time the family visited her slightly senile great grandmother at the nursing home Susie asked, "Why do you and Granny and Mummy always cut the ends off the sausages before you put them in the pan?"

"Oh, no," says Great Granny, "are they still using that stupid little frying pan?"

I would have bet money on this one bring rude.

 

[Chris S]

 

[betty swollocks]

During a particularly cold winter, a Canadian couple decided to vacation in Jamaica. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier.
Because of conflicting schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their departure times. As a result, the husband left Toronto and flew to the island on Thursday, with his wife flying in the following day.
The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent it.
Meanwhile, somewhere in Ottawa, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who died of a heart attack. The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted.
Her son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor and saw the computer screen which read:
To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Arrived
Date: October 16, 2011
I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones.
I've just arrived and have checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then!
Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.
P.S. Bloody hot down here!

 

[PaulSB]

Easily survives travel north to castle

🤔

 

[Chris S]