Any good jokes ... ?

[Cavalol]

I nearly married a Brazilian many years ago. That was a close shave.

 

[PaulSB]

I thought that
Then I thought.......no, it can't be that bad

Unfortunately it is. 😂

 

[Cavalol]

Despite being hit with a pick-axe, crushed by rocks and blown up by dynamite, I only suffered miner injuries.

 

[Cavalol]

I went French furniture hunting once, just for the frill of the chaise.

 

[PaulB]

Got my A level results
Ocean geography 7 c s
Cosmetic surgery was double A now Double D
Television studies B B C
Horse feeding. A
Optical studies C

 

[guitarpete247]

Yorkshire Language: E (BA - gum)
Drinking studies (double): G & T

 

[Rezillo]

This wasn't intended to be funny but the whole article could go into Pseuds Corner. Somewhat reminiscent of Harry Enfield's shop 'I saw you coming'.

https://www.eadt.co.uk/ea-life/what-s-in-the-new-forager-s-kitchen-discovery-box-1-6787205

"We’d then maybe film how to forage for nettles to make your own nettle tea. Just building up that experience for the customer."

I'm willing to hire our garden to them as the film set. Not much foraging needed there.

 

[Cavalol]

I often play Scrabble with my wife - it's the only time I can get a word in.

 

[PaulB]

Where do pencils go on holiday?







Pencil-vania.

 

[cyberknight]

 

[Cavalol]

 

[betty swollocks]

Just to let everyone know, I had the Russian Covid-19 vaccination yesterday and can tell you it’s fine.
There are absolutely nyet negative sideffski effectovski Кто может это прочитать Обожаю Владимира Путина.

 

[PeteXXX]

Apparently, this might amuse cat-people...

 

[Cavalol]

I've just twisted my dog into the shape of a balloon.

 

[PeteXXX]

I was in the petrol station queue today and noticed the bloke in front of me had a right arm browner than the other...
He saw me looking...
So I nodded to his arm and said 'truck driver?'...
He replied
'No, I'm a vet'