Any good jokes ... ?

[Seevio]

"Open Mike Night" sounded like a lot of fun until I realised that I'd shown up to an autopsy.

 

[Cavalol]

I guessed orange, but it was chocolate.
I guessed toffee, but it was peanut.
I guessed strawberry, but it was coffee.

I was wrong on so many Revels.

 

[betty swollocks]

Yesterday I was on a Scrabble team with Midge Ure.
We had four tiles left, but they meant nothing to me......
OVNR.

 

[betty swollocks]

I was climbing in the Himalayas yesterday and was accosted by a Yeti which forced me to do a thousand sit ups and a thousand stomach crunches.
I got back to base and told the Sherpa.
“Ah yes, that’ll be the abdominal snowman.”

 

[PeteXXX]

 

[betty swollocks]

 

[Profpointy]

View attachment 550915

'oi ! I resemble that remark

 

[PeteXXX]

'oi ! I resemble that remark

#metoo

 

[Cavalol]

I'm very good at alerting ships to possible danger - I have a flare for it.

 

[Cavalol]

This is the 1st year I haven’t done the London Marathon due to Covid.

I’ve not done it in previous years because I couldn’t be arsed.

 

[betty swollocks]

I can’t tell you how much I regret buying the flat above Lionel Ritchie.

 

[tyred]

 

[PeteXXX]

💥💥💥💥💥💥

 

[Chris S]

A 9V battery will make a tingling sensation on your tongue. I doubt if you would even feel it through a nose ring.

 

[ClichéGuevara]

A 9V battery will make a tingling sensation on your tongue. I doubt if you would even feel it through a nose ring.

Wouldn't that depend on how hard you threw it?