Any good jokes ... ?

[Cavalol]

Most of my relatives are police marksmen, apart from my grandad who's a bank robber.

He died recently, surrounded by his family.

 

[Cavalol]

After giving my grandson an Action Man for his birthday, he told me wanted a Red Indian instead.

I've been trying to put a brave face on it ever since.

 

[Cavalol]

Luckily, when Cat Stevens was dropped by his record company, he landed on his feet.

 

[Dayvo]

 

[Cavalol]

Yet again, my wife's doing Alphabetti Spaghetti for dinner tonight. I'll be having words with her later.

 

[PaulB]

I thought I was alone in the bath....until I felt a tap on my shoulder.

 

[morrisman]

 

[Dayvo]

 

[raleighnut]

View attachment 551383

 

[glasgowcyclist]

Han Solo's neighbours hated him when he was a kid, but mostly because of his younger brother, Drum.

 

[mistyoptic]

 

[Dayvo]

 

[betty swollocks]

 

[Cavalol]

I was in B&Q today looking for some bathroom flooring.
An employee came over to me and said, "Did you know some tiles are worth 10 times more than regular ones?"
I said, "Really? Have you got any?"
He said, "Yes. Here's a 'Q' and here's a 'Z'."

 

[Sharky]

View attachment 551503

That joke makes me smile. It was one of Johnny Helms cartoon jokes as well. Might have a copy somewhere.