Any good jokes ... ?

[Markymark]

I asked my Welsh mate how many sexual partners he's had. But every time he starts counting, he falls asleep.

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

The surgeon said to me, "Do you have a dog?" I said, "Yes, why?" He said, "If I can't save your leg, do you want me to keep the bone for him?"

 

[flake99please]

This weekend I shall be hosting a deodorant party. Roll on Saturday....

 

[Venod]

 

[TwickenhamCyclist]

A mate once told me "In the theatre, always leave them wanting more".
Great bloke, awful anaesthetist.

 

[TheDoctor]

View attachment 349347

That sounds a bit Fight Club!
"Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy stuff we don't need."

 

[jayonabike]

FOR SALE:

French Military assault rifle, only dropped once.

 

[morrisman]

Went out for a meal last night, my starter was an Oasis soup.

It was the same as normal soup, except you got a roll with it.

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

My shrink told me to write letters to the people I hate and then burn them.

I did.

But what I am supposed to do with the letters now?

 

[morrisman]

I'm going to invest all my money in pineapples and bananas.
People have warned me though, I may be frittering it all away.

 

[TVC]

I'm going to invest all my money in pineapples and bananas.
People have warned me though, I may be frittering it all away.

That's just a spam post.

 

[threebikesmcginty]

That's just a spam post.

Mmmmm spam fritters, that was my school dinner fave.

 

[Rezillo]

Spam fritters:

First mouthful - food of heaven. How could anyone denigrate this inspired combination of batter and meat?
Second mouthful - hmmm, not so sure now
Third mouthful - what's all this grease? I feel a bit sick
Fourth mouthful - I never want to eat this stuff again

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

Bit like Fray Bentos pies and Campbells Meatballs.

 

[morrisman]

My dog was barking at everyone the other day.

Still, what can you expect from a cross-breed.