Any good jokes ... ?

[Cavalol]

What sings and cleans windows?


Chamois Davis Junior.

 

[Dayvo]

 

[colly]

M25 road rage killer Kenneth Noye has been freed from gaol and is now a free man after a parole board praised his 'improved victim awareness', 'clear life goals' and 'ability to control his emotions.'

I'd be happier if he just decided not to murder again.

 

[morrisman]

Why don't most churches offer free WiFi?

They don't want to have to compete with an invisible power that actually answers your questions....

 

[betty swollocks]

Didn't quite win the 'Astronomer of the year' award', but walked away with the constellation prize.

Just goes to show what a star geezer you are.

 

[Cavalol]

Doctor, I've got that urine sample, but I should probably let you know I drank a whole bottle of 'Bombay Sapphire' beforehand!

"In your wee, gin?"

Legen, jeg har den urinprøven, men jeg burde nok fortelle deg at jeg drakk en hel flaske "Bombay Sapphire" på forhånd.

 

[colly]

Doctor, I've got that urine sample, but I should probably let you know I drank a whole bottle of 'Bombay Sapphire' beforehand!

"In your wee, gin?"

Legen, jeg har den urinprøven, men jeg burde nok fortelle deg at jeg drakk en hel flaske "Bombay Sapphire" på forhånd.

I bet that's a terrific joke.....if only I could work it out.

 

[Kempstonian]

I bet that's a terrific joke.....if only I could work it out.

your wee, gin = Norwegian

 

[colly]

your wee, gin = Norwegian

Ahh.. seems l was wrong about the terrificness.

 

[EltonFrog]

The Fragrant MrsP says I have a Eric Clapton obsession.

She don’t lie, She don’t lie, She don’t lie...

 

[Dirk]

Did you read about the dwarf psychic who was on the run from the law?




The headline read: Small Medium at Large.............

 

[EltonFrog]

A consortium lead by INEOS and British Gas are starting a budget Airline.

Just hope the pilot don’t go out.

 

[alicat]

That’s 0800 Won Nothing Won Nothing Won Nothing.

That reminds me of Bobby Sands' telephone number:

Nuneaton 808080.

 

[Cavalol]

My boss at the stencil factory once asked me to make a template for work, so next morning I went to the her house and let her tyres down.

 

[Davos87]

Knock Knock.
Who’s There?
It’s Grandad.
Quick... Stop the cremation.

* Courtesy of Harry Hiil *