Any good jokes ... ?

[AndyRM]

What’s green and smells of pork?

Spoiler: NSFW

Kermit’s fingers.

True story, I used that joke on my dating profile nearly 3 years ago, and my good lady not only knew the answer she liked it, and me (I assume) enough that we're still together.

 

[morrisman]

I have bought a new alarm clock that shouts swear words when it's time to get up.
Guess I'm in for a rude awakening

 

[Supersuperleeds]

What’s green and smells of pork?

Spoiler: NSFW

Kermit’s fingers.

Classic childhood joke. It's that old I expect @welsh dragon even told it as a nipper.

 

[tyred]

 

[craigwend]

 

[Toshiba Boy]

 

[Seevio]

Cars have too many gadgets these days. I tried to reverse and it just played a video of somebody getting run over.

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

I went to the swimming pool and got chatting to a Geordie lass

"You're a reet canny swimmer" she told me

I said "oh, are you flirting?"

And she said "Naa pet, I'm standing on the bottom"

 

[ebikeerwidnes]

It has been scientifically that women who have put on a little bit of weight

not much

but enough to be noticed if you look


actually live longer







than men who mention it

 

[AndyRM]

I went to the swimming pool and got chatting to a Geordie lass

"You're a reet canny swimmer" she told me

I said "oh, are you flirting?"

And she said "Naa pet, I'm standing on the bottom"

 

[postman]

I asked Mrs P what are we having for dinner.nothing she replied.You said that yesterday,i know i made enough for two days.

 

[MichaelW2]

View attachment 783145

Have we learned nothing from the Astana Zoo Massacre of 2003?

 

[craigwend]

Have we learned nothing from the Astana Zoo Massacre of 2003?

The Prohet Borat...

 

[cyberknight]

Classic childhood joke. It's that old I expect @welsh dragon even told it as a nipper.

erm i heard a ruder version in verse about 3 little friggies

 

[Toshiba Boy]

It turns out that when you're asked which is your favourite child, you're meant to select one of your own!

Who knew?