Any good jokes ... ?

[Punkawallah]

I think they originally invaded Surrey.

One of those ‘million to one’ chances that turn up nine times out of ten.

 

[DRM]

View attachment 788893

Depends where the shop is I suppose

 

[Supersuperleeds]

View attachment 788654

To be fair, some numpty might have walked off with the keys or the battery is flat.

 

[Toshiba Boy]

To be fair, some numpty might have walked off with the keys or the battery is flat.

..... and the ladder?

 

[Supersuperleeds]

..... and the ladder?

He can't use that, the scissor lift is on the way,and he can't move that with no keys or a flat battery

 

[Toshiba Boy]

He can't use that, the scissor lift is on the way,and he can't move that with no keys or a flat battery

Take the ladder down to it's half size and place in the platform, always a work around.

Anyway, back to the jokes thread ...

 

[Supersuperleeds]

Take the ladder down to it's half size and place in the platform, always a work around.

Anyway, back to the jokes thread ...

but then how would he climb onto the scissor lift, I supposed he could have pulled the ladder up onto the platform once up there..........

 

[tyred]

 

[classic33]

A man had been stranded alone on a desert island for ten long years. One hot afternoon, he spotted something moving in the waves. To his disbelief, a stunning young woman in a wetsuit swam up to shore.
Man: “Oh my God… I can’t believe this. I haven’t seen another soul in ten years!”
Woman: smiling “Well, it looks like you’ve been here a while. Tell me… when’s the last time you had a cigarette?”
Man: “Ten years. Ten miserable years!”
The woman casually unzipped a small pocket on her wetsuit sleeve, pulled out a cigarette, and handed it to him.
Man: eyes wide “This… this is heaven!”
Woman: “And how long has it been since you had a proper drink?”
Man: “Ten years!”
She unzipped another pocket, this time pulling out a flask of whisky. She poured him a generous drink.
Man: nearly crying with joy “You’re a miracle. An absolute miracle!”
The woman leaned closer, her voice soft and teasing. As she slowly unzipped the front of her wetsuit, she asked:
Woman: “And tell me… how long has it been since you’ve had a little fun?”
The man’s jaw dropped. He stared at her, trembling with excitement, and whispered:
Man: “Don’t tell me… you’ve got a set of golf clubs in there too?!”

 

[tyred]

 

[Mike Ayling]

j

View attachment 789038

I've see that before somewhere on CycleChat.

 

[craigwend]

j


I've see that before somewhere on CycleChat.

View attachment 788838

 

[tyred]

 

[Toshiba Boy]

 

[Dave7]

Nurse to male patient...... "Oh dear, your todger is very bruised. How did that happen"?

Patient says "it was a surfing accident".

Nurse asks "Did you fall off the board".

Patient says "No, I slammed the laptop closed when the wife walked in".