Any good jokes ... ?
- Thread starter cisamcgu
- Start date
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I head to check what thread we were on when I first saw that.🤣
rikki
Legendary Member
- Location
- Limestone Coast, South Australia
At least it opens away from the stairs!
I'm not a cowboy 🤠
The 1st day I joined a nudist colony a woman asked "is this your 1st time"?
I asked how she knew and she said "oh, it sticks out a mile".
A vicar gets a new set of dentures.
The 1st Sunday his sermon lasts 5 minutes.
The 2nd Sunday it lasts 8 minutes.
The 3rd Sunday he went on for over 3 hours then collapsed.
His parishioners ask him what was going on.
He explained about the new dentures and that they made his mouth sore. He said it was slightly better the 2nd week.
He said "today I got up late and in a rush to get ready I put my wife's dentures in.....then i couldn't stop talking"
The 1st Sunday his sermon lasts 5 minutes.
The 2nd Sunday it lasts 8 minutes.
The 3rd Sunday he went on for over 3 hours then collapsed.
His parishioners ask him what was going on.
He explained about the new dentures and that they made his mouth sore. He said it was slightly better the 2nd week.
He said "today I got up late and in a rush to get ready I put my wife's dentures in.....then i couldn't stop talking"
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classic33
Leg End Member
Late one evening, a businessman stopped for the night at a little country pub near London called The George and Dragon.
He asked the lady at reception if they were still serving meals.
“No!” she snapped. “Meals stop at 8 p.m. sharp. Not even a sandwich after that!”
The man sighed, “Alright then… what about breakfast in my room tomorrow morning?”
“Absolutely not!” she barked. “Breakfast is at 7:30 a.m. in the dining room. Prompt. No exceptions.”
The man paused for a moment and then asked quietly…
“Okay… any chance I could have a quick word with George?”
He asked the lady at reception if they were still serving meals.
“No!” she snapped. “Meals stop at 8 p.m. sharp. Not even a sandwich after that!”
The man sighed, “Alright then… what about breakfast in my room tomorrow morning?”
“Absolutely not!” she barked. “Breakfast is at 7:30 a.m. in the dining room. Prompt. No exceptions.”
The man paused for a moment and then asked quietly…
“Okay… any chance I could have a quick word with George?”
Seevio
Guru
- Location
- South Glos
Two chemists walk into a bar.
Chemist 1: I'd like a glass of H2O
Chemist 2: I'd like a glass of water also.
Chemist 1 curses as his assassination attempt fails.
Chemist 1: I'd like a glass of H2O
Chemist 2: I'd like a glass of water also.
Chemist 1 curses as his assassination attempt fails.
So there will be those that don't get it. Rather than interrupting the thread with "Duh, I don't get it" posts, I thought I would explain.
Chemist 2 is supposed to say "I'd like a glass of H2O too, which sounds like H2O2. H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide, which while not explicitly poisonous, can cause nasty internal burns if ingested and will be fatal in large enough doses.
There. Aren't you glad you asked?
Chemist 2 is supposed to say "I'd like a glass of H2O too, which sounds like H2O2. H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide, which while not explicitly poisonous, can cause nasty internal burns if ingested and will be fatal in large enough doses.
There. Aren't you glad you asked?
