Any good jokes ... ?

[AndyRM]

Up
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the funny part is that the ad is real! You just have to love it!

That's actual genius. Chapeau.

 

[tyred]

 

[Chris S]

 

[Profpointy]

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There was supposedly a shop selling collectors' fountain pens who were called Pen Island. They had a few problems with their first website which got a lot of interest from a different clientele from what they were after.

 

[lenfield]

I failed a first aid course. The instructor asked me what I'd do if my child swallowed the front door key. I said, "Climb in through the window."

 

[craigwend]

 

[matticus]

.

Or this version:

I just finished writing a book on penguins. It probably would've been easier to write it on paper.

 

[fritz katzenjammer]

My grandfather fought in WWII and he would have voted for Reform. He would have liked Tommy Robinson too. Mind you, he was in the SS.

When my Dad was settling into the senior’s home the nice person in charge of the social life asked if he had served in the military. “ We have quite a few vets” she said, “I’ll be sure they get to know each other as they’ll have lots to reminisce about”.

I told her that he had served and fought in the war and that I thought is was a great idea.

She asked what he did in the war and I told her he flew for JG11 during the Battle of Britain.

“Oh how exciting“ she exclaimed, “What did he fly”.

When I said Messerschmitt 109s you could have heard a pin drop.

Dad was just a bit too young to serve in the war, he stayed at home and worked on the farm in Saskatchewan while his older brothers went off and dealt with that business. It’s really is too bad his mind was gone when I pulled that stunt… he would have loved it.

 

[Toshiba Boy]

 

[Chris S]

 

[Tenkaykev]

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Not my words but eloquently said:

" Andrew, armoured in ancestry and arrogance, mistook privilege for permission, and posed his birthright as a blank check for abuse; Tatler toasted him, courtiers coddled him, and the crown conspired to cast his conduct in candlelight, not consequence; the fulcrum flares where innocence fades—when a prince sees a child as a gift, not a girl, and the palace polishes the mirror that made him; and so the monarchy, masked in marble and myth, must reckon not with Andrew alone, but with the silence that shaped him. "

 

[gavroche]

Short joke,:
My dad is a civil servant, my mother doesn't work either.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Apparently RSVPing back to a wedding invite 'maybe next time' isn't the correct response.

 

[Stevo 666]

 

[PeteXXX]