Any good jokes ... ?

[Toshiba Boy]

 

[postman]

My neighbour has asked if i would treat our new fence.So i took it shopping today.

 

[Chris S]

 

[king of the mole hills]

My neighbour has asked if i would treat our new fence.So i took it shopping today.

2am this morning I hear a noise and people are nicking my garden gate
I look out the window and watch them then I go back to sleep
In morning wife says why didn't I shout and try to stop them
I said I was going to but I didn't want them to take a fence

 

[Cavalol]

Of course, now we google it, watch three YouTube videos, and still manage to break it because they're all about a slightly different version.
is takes about three hours longer than before, but that's progress.

...and got frustrated because the people in the videos waffled on for ages before showing you how to fix it.

 

[Cavalol]

 

[Vapin' Joe]

...and got frustrated because the people in the videos waffled on for ages before showing you how to fix it.

That seriously gets on my tits.

No music, no introductions, just a simple step by step guide is all I want. Anymore and I turn it off and look somewhere else.

 

[tyred]

 

[Cavalol]

That seriously gets on my tits.

No music, no introductions, just a simple step by step guide is all I want. Anymore and I turn it off and look somewhere else.

'Make sure to check my other videos explaining how may different types of Park Tools there are for those jobs you do once every ten years'

 

[ClichéGuevara]

Whoops. wrong thread.

 

[Dave7]

The husband is looking really miserable so his wife asks him what's wrong.
He says "i can't talk about it".
She says "who's this 'i'.... we are married, there is no 'i'.....its 'we'. So tell me what's wrong.
Husband says "OK then..... we have got my secretary pregnant and she is going to sue us for maintenance"

 

[Chris S]

 

[tyred]

 

[Moon bunny]

View attachment 792258

I can’t help thinking that if he paid attention to what he is doing instead of gurning at the camera, he would notice that his plate is empty and there is no point in posing with his cutlery in mid-air.

 

[Dave7]

I can’t help thinking that if he paid attention to what he is doing instead of gurning at the camera, he would notice that his plate is empty and there is no point in posing with his cutlery in mid-air.

While you are being 'picky' the caption doesn't mention food......it says "to put your plate on"