Any good jokes ... ?

[Seevio]

There are only two hydrogen atoms in a molecule of water and, last time I looked, I’m sure I saw more than two stars in the sky.

And how many of those stars were in our solar system?

 

[Regular.Cyclist]

And how many of those stars were in our solar system?

Trust me not to read to the end of the statement 😂

 

[ebikeerwidnes]

There are only two hydrogen atoms in a molecule of water and, last time I looked, I’m sure I saw more than two stars in the sky.

Actually in the average glass of water there are very few molecules of water
as in H2O

it is mostly - as in almost totally - made up of charged particles such as H30+
and H15O7+ and loads of other such things

water is VERY complicated at an atomic level due to the pull of the oxygen for the electron cloud

We did stuff like this at University - in the 3rd year

so I remember very little about it as it was a long time ago
but I remember that basic bits and H2O is a gross generalisation




sorry - this was Pedant Mode wasn;t it

 

[craigwend]

 

[craigwend]

 

[classic33]

A police officer stopped a man who went through a red light.
The guy was a real jerk, demanding, "Why am I being harassed, what about all those breaking the law?!"
The officer calmly told him of his violation.
The man erupted in a tirade, questioning the officer's ancestry and sexual orientation in explicit terms.
The officer took it in stride, saying nothing. When he finished writing the citation, he put "AH" in corner and then handed it to the man to sign.
The man demanded to know what "AH" meant.
The officer stared straight into his eyes and said, "That's so when we go to court, I'll remember that you were such an a$shole!" and then returned to his patrol car .
The violator's bad record meant that he would lose his license, so he hired a hot-shot lawyer to represent him.
The defense lawyer called the officer to the stand and asked, "Officer, is there any particular marking on this citation you don't normally make?"
"Why, yes, sir, there is. Near the bottom there's an underlined 'AH.'"
"What does 'AH' stand for, officer?"
"Aggressive and hostile, sir."
"Aggressive and hostile?"
"Yes, sir."
"Officer, are you sure it doesn't stand for 'A$shole'?"
The officer grinned, "Well, sir, you know your client better than I!

 

[classic33]

There I was sitting at the bar, staring at my drink, when a big, rough-looking biker walked up, grabbed my glass, and swallowed it in one big gulp.
He growled, “Well, whatcha gonna do about it?”
And I just burst into tears.
I said, “This has been the worst day of my life. I was late to a meeting, and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, my car was gone — stolen — and I don’t have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. Then I found my wife with another man… and to top it off, my dog bit me.
So I came here to get the courage to end it all. I bought a drink… I dropped poison in it… I sat here watching it dissolve… and then you walked in and drank the whole thing!”
“But anyway… enough about me. How’s your day going?”

 

[morrisman]

The man that invented gravy granuals has had the Freedom of the City bistowed upon him.

 

[Cavalol]

I watched a UB40 tribute band called WD40.

They were a bit rusty at first, but got better as the evening went on.

 

[Cavalol]

 

[tyred]

 

[Alex321]

Spotted on Facebook

 

[Cavalol]

Told my doctor that I'm tired of finishing crosswords too quickly.

Try not get 2 down, was his advice.

 

[tyred]