Any good jokes ... ?
- Thread starter cisamcgu
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matticus
Guru
Mum talking to daughter about Christmas:
7yr old: Mummy, what happens if you eat lots of tinsel?
Me: probably emergency surgery to prevent obstruction somewhere in your digestive system.
7yr old: *blank face* *small voice* you get tinselitis
7yr old: Mummy, what happens if you eat lots of tinsel?
Me: probably emergency surgery to prevent obstruction somewhere in your digestive system.
7yr old: *blank face* *small voice* you get tinselitis
ebikeerwidnes
Guru
- Location
- Widnes
OH MY GOD!!!!!
thsi means that after all these years
it turns out that Colin is a foreigner!!!
DEPORT COLIN IMMEDIATELY!!!
and The Daily Mail should start an immediate investigation to see if he was claiming benefits!!!!
classic33
Leg End Member
Mary had just gotten married, and as a good traditional Irish girl, she was still a virgin. On her wedding night, she and her new husband Mick stayed at her mother’s house. Nervous, Mary confessed her worries.
Her mother patted her hand.
“Don’t worry, love. Mick’s a good man. Go upstairs—he’ll take care of you. I’ll stay down here and make dinner.”
So, Mary went up.
In the bedroom, Mick unbuttoned his shirt, revealing a thick mat of hair across his chest. Mary’s eyes widened. She bolted downstairs.
“Mammy! Mammy! Mick’s got a big hairy chest!”
Her mother smiled. “That’s nothing. All good men have hairy chests. Now go back upstairs—he’ll take care of you.”
So up she went again.
This time Mick took off his trousers, showing his hairy legs. Mary squealed and ran downstairs again.
“Mammy! Mick took off his pants—and he’s got hairy legs!”
“Relax, child. All good men have hairy legs. Go on back upstairs—he’s a fine man.”
So Mary climbed the stairs once more.
Finally, Mick pulled off his socks. On his left foot, he was missing three toes.
Mary gasped, ran straight downstairs, and shouted:
“Mammy! Mick’s got a foot and a half!”
Her mother dropped the spoon, grabbed her apron, and said:
“You stay here and stir the gravy, Mary. I’ll go upstairs!”
Her mother patted her hand.
“Don’t worry, love. Mick’s a good man. Go upstairs—he’ll take care of you. I’ll stay down here and make dinner.”
So, Mary went up.
In the bedroom, Mick unbuttoned his shirt, revealing a thick mat of hair across his chest. Mary’s eyes widened. She bolted downstairs.
“Mammy! Mammy! Mick’s got a big hairy chest!”
Her mother smiled. “That’s nothing. All good men have hairy chests. Now go back upstairs—he’ll take care of you.”
So up she went again.
This time Mick took off his trousers, showing his hairy legs. Mary squealed and ran downstairs again.
“Mammy! Mick took off his pants—and he’s got hairy legs!”
“Relax, child. All good men have hairy legs. Go on back upstairs—he’s a fine man.”
So Mary climbed the stairs once more.
Finally, Mick pulled off his socks. On his left foot, he was missing three toes.
Mary gasped, ran straight downstairs, and shouted:
“Mammy! Mick’s got a foot and a half!”
Her mother dropped the spoon, grabbed her apron, and said:
“You stay here and stir the gravy, Mary. I’ll go upstairs!”
Profpointy
Legendary Member
One for the boyos
Last edited:
Mad Doug Biker
Banned from every bar in the Galaxy
- Location
- Craggy Island
This sounds a bit like the guys over at NCA&P 
:
https://www.facebook.com/share/v/1AG9risrwi/?mibextid=wwXIfr
:https://www.facebook.com/share/v/1AG9risrwi/?mibextid=wwXIfr
