Any good jokes ... ?

[tyred]

 

[Punkawallah]

“I tried donating blood today. Never again. Too many questions! ‘Whose blood is it? Where did you get it from? Why is it in a bucket?' Sheesh!

 

[Chris S]

 

[dicko]

 

[tyred]

 

[Punkawallah]

Fun fact. Proportionate to their (successful) invasion of Grenada, the Americans would need about 37 million troops to invade Greenland.

 

[srj10]

I went to a class for budding kleptomaniacs.
I took some notes, then left.

I've often heard that ‘icy’ is the easiest word to spell, looking at it now, I see why.

 

[tyred]

I went to a class for budding kleptomaniacs.
I took some notes, then left.

I've often heard that ‘icy’ is the easiest word to spell, looking at it now, I see why.

I suffer from maniokleptia.

I go into shops and leave things sitting on the counter.

 

[tyred]

 

[tyred]

 

[tyred]

 

[craigwend]

 

[Chris S]

An elderly Scotsman is on his death bed. He is surrounded by his family and asks if his wife is in the room.
"Yes my dear, I'm in the room," she replies.
"Are the children in the room?"
"Yes my dear, the children are in the room."
"Are the grandchildren in the room?"
"Yes my dear, the grandchildren are in the room."
"So why's the landing light on?"

 

[matticus]

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer the other day. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.

 

[Profpointy]

An elderly Scotsman is on his death bed. He is surrounded by his family and asks if his wife is in the room.
"Yes my dear, I'm in the room," she replies.
"Are the children in the room?"
"Yes my dear, the children are in the room."
"Are the grandchildren in the room?"
"Yes my dear, the grandchildren are in the room."
"So why's the landing light on?"

And in a similar vein Dai Evans a Cardiganshire farmer had died. His widow wanted the death notice published in the Cambrian News, and on learning it was priced by the word, in keeping with her late husband's Cardi ways when money was concerned went for the minimum charge which allowed four words "Dai Evans is dead". The staff at the paper had been fond of old Dai, so had a bit of a whipround, and let Mrs Evans know she could have three additional words on them. "That's very kind of you" she said, than after a bit of thought made her selection "In that case, I'd like to have 'Dai Evans is dead, tractor for sale' "