Any good jokes ... ?

[Dave7]

Ages ago I started a group and called it 999 megabytes.
We haven't got a gig yet.

 

[icowden]

 

[Windle]

Core blimey! Have you called the Peelers?

Bugger when things go pear shaped.

Here come the punnets again.

 

[Toshiba Boy]

Here come the punnets again.

I thought that was sour grapes when I first read it.

 

[postman]

Well i heard it through the grapevine.

 

[Punkawallah]

Well i heard it through the grapevine.

While you were sitting on the dock of the bay?

 

[Jameshow]

 

[mistyoptic]

 

[Toshiba Boy]

Just heard that the dentist on the High Street, has been arrested for dealing in drugs!

Shows you how wrong you can be about people. I've been going to him for more than 10 years.

Never knew he was a dentist.

 

[tyred]

 

[Dave7]

Police recovered the body of a man from the river.
He was wearing a suspender belt, stockings, frilly underwear and a Man Utd top.
A police spokesman said they removed the Man Utd top so the family were not embarrassed.

 

[Dave7]

A wife says to her husband "I've bought a waxing kit. Should I remove it all or leave a strip down the middle"?
Husband says "to be honest I prefer you without a moustache at all".

 

[tyred]

 

[Sharky]

Starting a new project, which requires some very intelligent candidates.

To check your suitability, just read out the following as quick as you can four times .....

Eye, Yam, Stew, Peed

So far no candidates have been successful

 

[Vapin' Joe]

Learn to speak with an Irish accent, just say the following four words as quickly as you can -

Wale

Oil

Beef

Hooked