Any good jokes ... ?

[DaveReading]

Maybe the interviewer, as it doesn't look like chinese but he's reading and writing right to left!

Trust me, all us left-handed people do that.

 

[Oldhippy]

We do indeed.

 

[Profpointy]

Trust me, all us left-handed people do that.

Sounds a bit sinister

 

[Vapin' Joe]

Sounds a bit sinister

We are.

 

[Dave7]

I was at a bar in a Country Club and an annoying man said to me, "I'm a Country Member".
I said, "Yes, I remember"

 

[Profpointy]

I was at a bar in a Country Club and an annoying man said to me, "I'm a Country Member".
I said, "Yes, I remember"

One version of that gag was apparently said in parliament by the Australian prime minister in a riposte to a member from a rural constituancy.

In a similar vein there's the story of a rather brash man in a posh london club asking a steward where the crappers are. "Through the door on the left. It says 'gentlemen' but don't let that deter you"

 

[Cavalol]

When I did my chemistry exam, we had to write 2,000 words on acid.

I wasn't able to finish it as my pen turned into a gorilla and the floor melted.

 

[tyred]

 

[morrisman]

I got drunk and did a massive dump on my neighbour's roof.
Please tell me how I can wipe the slate clean

 

[PeteXXX]

I just took a poll, and 100% of people were quite annoyed when their tent fell down...

 

[ebikeerwidnes]

 

[Dave7]

My father used to say, "in the theatre you should always leave them wanting more". Nice guy but a terrible anaesthetist.

 

[Dave7]

I called in at a family reunion yesterday.
I have no idea who they were but the wine and the cakes were excellent.

 

[morrisman]

It was illegal for shepherds to use their sheepdogs on the 4th May.
It was a Ban Collie Day

 

[morrisman]

Someone keeps sending me bunches of flowers with the flowerheads missing, am I being stalked?