Any good jokes ... ?

[ebikeerwidnes]

Does anyone kniw if I can donate a skin-graft from my backside to a none relative.
Arse skin for a friend.

Not sure that belongs on here - actually made me laugh!!!

 

[Richard A Thackeray]

 

[mistyoptic]

If you boil a funny bone, it becomes a laughing stock. That’s humorous

 

[lenfield]

 

[Dave7]

I stopped having a morning coffee and switched to fresh orange juice......I feel so much better.
My Doctor says it because of no caffeine and plenty of vitamin C.
Personally I put it down to the large vodkas.

 

[Dave7]

My neighbourhood barber just got arrested for selling drugs.
I've been a customer of his for 8 years and never new he was a barber.

 

[Sharky]

Husband and wife, sat on the sofa having a drink.

Husband - "you're beautiful, I love you"
Wife - "is that you or the whisky talking?"
Husband - "I was talking to the whisky!"

 

[mistyoptic]

In the near future there is going to come a time when Al tells a woman that she is wrong and needs to calm down...

This will mark the end of Al and possibly computers all together.

Those little chips are not built for that type of storm.

 

[tyred]

 

[Seevio]

"You're listening to Sisyphus FM, where the rock never stops."

 

[Toshiba Boy]

A Mexican, an American and a Brit walk into a bar.

The Mexican says "I'll have a Corona, the finest beer in Mexico!"

The American sneers, and says "I'll have a Budweiser, the King of beers!"

The Brit smiles, and asks for a ginger ale.

"A ginger ale?" asks the confused Yank.

The Brit replies, "Well, if we're not drinking proper beer...."

🍻🤪

 

[JtB]

Today I was at the coffee shop having a cup of coffee when I noticed a guy drinking his coffee from the saucer. I got chatting to him and he said that he is from Argentina. I then asked him why he was drinking his coffee from the saucer. He replied "Spain has taken the cup"

 

[Hitchington]

What do you call an imprisoned Andrew Tate?

In cell.

 

[Spartak]

My mate Archie is a security guard for Sainsbury's. He gets a set wage plus £1 for each shoplifter he catches.

One day, a group of 3 people came in stealing so he strangled them. Next day it was in the local paper.

"Archie chokes 3 for £1 at Sainsbury's".

 

[Dave7]

I asked 100 women what was thier favourite soap in the shower?
Every one of them said "what the hell are you doing in my shower"!!