"Bike Things" that sound bad out of context

[Sam Kennedy]

I thought it would be funny to start a thread full of "Bike Things" which sound bad out of context. I'll go first:

"I'm just measuring how big my crank is"

"I need to have a fiddle with my bottom bracket" (yeah, that one's old, I know)

 

[marinyork]

Bonk

 

[gavintc]

You do not want to discuss the size of your ring or how well worn it is.

 

[goo_mason]

• My nipples got given a good twist to tighten them up.
  
• I gave my rim a good wipe down to get rid of the crap that had built up on it during the ride.
  
• You'll often find me in the Buff.
  
• I gave it a right good pumping after it had gone down on me.
  
• No, I didn't get it online; I went to the bike shop to get the horn.

 

[Rhythm Thief]

[*]I gave my rim a good wipe down to get rid of the crap that had built up on it during the ride.

 

[just jim]

I've inserted my star fangled nut at the wrong angle and now I'm going to have to pound it further into the tube, so that it drops out the other end.

 

[Fnaar]

Oh how I love this thread
(but I think the best lines have already been claimed)

except for "I have a purple helmet"

 

[Fnaar]

I'm more comfortable when I'm really going for it and I'm in the granny ring

 

[threebikesmcginty]

Go on Fnaar - see if you can knock another one out...

 

[lady_rider]

Fancy a hard ride tonight?

 

[TheDoctor]

I've ridden her recumbent.

 

[Ashtrayhead]

I need to adjust my saddlebags, they're chaffing my thighs.

 

[Fnaar]

I got my pump stuck, but I managed to pull it off

 

[just jim]

How do I prevent chain suck on a dark wet, cold, muddy ride?

 

[Fnaar]

I can't find the cleat