"Bike Things" that sound bad out of context

[Fnaar]

I left a big skid mark between the cat's eyes

 

[threebikesmcginty]

I'm cycling into town - might go down on a shopper



ooo look look - I'm a vice president - you're all sacked! the power.

 

[Fnaar]

you might have to ease the rubber off the rim using your thumbs...

 

[accountantpete]

Would you like to see my Curly's?

 

[Davidc]

Which one shall I take into town tonight?

My latest one's got a really smart compact frame.

 

[Davidc]

I like to make sure she's well and truly chained up before I start work.

 

[threebikesmcginty]

If I'm being lazy I'll just park it up the back passage

 

[Sh4rkyBloke]

Sure, she's a bit slack, but she's a wonderful ride.

 

[Dayvo]

Of course! Never know when you're going to need your helmet!

 

[ChrisKH]

I'm just adjusting my pads.




"What's that?" (my boss, the office fashionista).
"It's a buff" says I
"That's not a buff, it's a snood. Chris is wearing a snoooood, Chris is wearing a snoooood......."

(Actual transcript)

 

[Crankarm]

This thread is just an exuse for awful Carry On inuendos and dooble entendres .

Which reminds me I have to get my STIs looked at which are giving me grief .

 

[Campfire]

I've ridden her recumbent.

You've not ridden mine! Doctor!

 

[Jane Smart]

I always sleep well after a long hard ride, but today, the rubber went soft, so I had to keep blowing it up!

 

[threebikesmcginty]

I'm bored with straight bars - think I'll try something different

 

[meenaghman]

I lubed her up and the ride was much more enjoyable.