Bring student son home now?

[Dayvo]

At 21 he is old enough to make his own decisions.......

at 17 I had my first and only child, at 17.5 I moved into my own house, 18 left school, got first job And at 19 I bought my first house.......

Here we go again! 🤨

Not everyone is as 'gung ho' as you appear to be.

Globalti (with all the problems he's facing) has stated many times that he is concerned and worried about his son's mental health at present.

Manning the f**k up is NOT a solution.

 

[marinyork]

With lockdown looming and GTijunior showing signs of mental stress what would forum members do about their child at University? Bring them home and isolate at home before the lockdown?

He is already locked down in his room, effectively, and in quite a bad way.

I would liken this debate to that over dropping out/gap years in studentdom. People can talk all day to people that have carried on/dropped out but it doesn't really make a difference other than feeling better and reassurance as it doesn't tell one about specific circumstances and there isn't a crystal ball.

In the spring there were students aplenty 'stuck' after the 'lockdown' restrictions at my university. Many others got picked up by their parents. Some who stayed (and I am talking those with MH problems here) seemed to fare as well as could be expected, others didn't. Similarly those who went home some got on well and some didn't.

It's very difficult. Your house situation and your own situation make it more difficult for you both to decide.

 

[oldworld]

One thing Globalti should avoid is passing his mental issues onto his son. He can worry all he likes and share it on here but any difficulties the son may be facing will only be worsened by the son is worrying about his dad worrying about him.
If he suggests coming home then support him but be prepared for some hostile reactions from the neighbours.

 

[jowwy]

Here we go again! 🤨

Not everyone is as 'gung ho' as you appear to be.

Globalti (with all the problems he's facing) has stated many times that he is concerned and worried about his son's mental health at present.

Manning the f**k up is NOT a solution.

i never stated anything about the manning the f**k up, and there is nothing gung ho in my post. Stop bringing issues over from another thread into this one.......

if you have an issue with me, put me on ignore or report me.....rather than turn another thread into a slanging match

 

[Archie_tect]

Well Gti, that's cleared that up...

Ask 20 people what they'd do in any situation and you'll get 20 solutions- some that strike a chord with you [which is what you hoped to hear], some you think are barmy, and some that make you think but disagree with!- the only one that matters is your son's decision, all you can expect to do is support his life choices

 

[gbb]

He's 21 and I don't think he would have the mental strength to stay there alone through Christmas.

It's a huge risk because the villagers here are already dobbing each other in and sniping via the community Watsapp. We would have to sneak him in by night then keep him hidden.

This can be the problem with small communities. I have a colleague who lives in a Fenland village, he says it's like the Gestapo there, you cant turn a tap on without someone commenting on it on FB etc.

Regarding Globals dilemma, I'd offer my support to my son, if he wanted to come home I'd do it in a flash...my son has suffered mental difficulties, that trumps everything, even if it meant we all had to self isolate till he was confirmed clear of covid.

 

[gbb]

I do not get this fixation on Xmas, why not think of it as just another day.

For some of us, it's one of the most important family days of the year.

 

[marinyork]

Can you find your son an on-line support group/support group that meets online in said university/city?

 

[screenman]

For some of us, it's one of the most important family days of the year.

For some it is a source of massive stress.

 

[Archie_tect]

Reading through the threads I'm struck by how everyone copes with what life throws at us...

Though we can't do much, all we can offer is friendly support... whatever it is and whenever you seek it.

All the best @cyberknight @Globalti

 

[Julia9054]

Reading through the threads I'm struck by how everyone copes with what life throws at us...

Though we can't do much, all we can offer is friendly support... whatever and whenever you seek it.

All the best @cyberknight @Globalti

It’s horrible worrying about your adult children. Makes you feel completely helpless.

 

[marinyork]

For some it is a source of massive stress.

There isn't a magic button you can press to turn things off for the third of the population that don't get on well with Christmas. It would be cool if there was.

During covid even if such a button existed, a block of time around what we call Christmas would then have people spiral downwards with the isolation and how things are.

 

[gbb]

At 21 he is old enough to make his own decisions.......

at 17 I had my first and only child, at 17.5 I moved into my own house, 18 left school, got first job And at 19 I bought my first house.......All that while my friends were still in full time education and pissing money against the wall.

You have to let him grow and choose what’s right for him, it may be hard for you to do that, but support when he asks, but don’t make decisions for him.....

I gave it a like because you sound pretty much like me and a get on mentality should be encouraged...BUT...as said up post my son has had serious mental difficulties, still does in some ways but when you contemplate some people cant get through life without self harming etc, your conscience cant be party to 'just get on with it and tough it out'. Some people simply don't have the capacity for that.

 

[Archie_tect]

Julia, that's what my mum says... she's 88.

 

[gbb]

For some it is a source of massive stress.

No doubt but that's not the issue here with all due respect.