Christmas dinner-the truth

Page may contain affiliate links. Please see terms for details.

Joey Shabadoo

My pronouns are "He", "Him" and "buggerlugs"
Funnily enough, I've just cycled into town to get our Christmas dinner from a family butcher.

497545


Cut to the thickness I wanted from a cow what lived not 5 miles from here.

^_^
 
Location
Essex
@Lullabelle - that's brilliant. I'm definitely nicking sharing this!
Have you noticed that if you express dislike for Brussels sprouts, someone will always chime in with "oh, no - they're lovely! All you need to do is..." then list about 5 different things usually involving either garlic or bacon, the sole purpose of which is to disguise the bloody things' taste!

Merry, stress-free Christmas everyone ^_^
 

tom73

Guru
Location
Yorkshire
It's true it's a roast dinner with few extras prep everything night before and it's easy.
Eat what you like most of what we think is Christmas dinner is a Victorian invention anyway.
The big problem is many now just don't have a clue you see them in shops debating how big a bird to buy. With no idea how much one will feed let alone how to cook it. Then they panic have they got a enough x,y,z and will so and so be ok with this?
Then fighting over the something to find the longest sell by date on the cheese. It's cheese for god sake as long as it not running for the door it's ok.
I'm lucky my mum was a cook so I know my way round unprepared veg and meat and spent many a Saturday morning round the market so know what 1/2 lb of stuff is.

In the end it's your Christmas so do what ever you like just enjoy the day.
 

mudsticks

Obviously an Aubergine
Never bought into the 'Xmas stress' thing.

Nor turkey, no one likes it much so we have a decent chicken instead.

Like you say its a roast dinner..
Unless you choose to make it into an ordeal by faffing..

My older son will be hosting for the fourth year in a row at his uber clean and tidy city flat.

A nice contrast from farm life, no mud, no logs to bring in, he's a half decent cook, and runs one of those bars which serves lots of interesting craft ales, and locally distilled stuff.

I'll take the veg..

He and his younger bro have selected a film - from his Netflixs account that will suit everyone.
Then everyone can fall asleep companionably on the sofa.

At this time of year it really feels like being a parent was worthwhile :rolleyes:
 

Milkfloat

An Peanut
Location
Midlands
As far as Christmas dinner goes, I am a traditionalist. It is always a bronze Turkey, pigs in blankets, stuffing, white sauce and a tonne of veg. The extended family all come together with the constituent parts and are responsible for making sure it hits the table at the right time. The only deviation to tradition is Yorkshire puddings, which are my extras produced for the part of the family from Leeds. I only eat Turkey at Christmas, but I have had it at every single one except my first because I was only 2 months old.
 

Chris S

Legendary Member
Location
Birmingham
Christmas Dinner....
I have concluded that the inevitable stress of Christmas dinner is created by adverts, supermarkets and TV chefs...
It's a Sunday dinner for farks sake!!! We do it quite happily 51 weeks of the year but can we the consumers be trusted to manage by ourselves on one day of the year...apparently not!
Here goes...
1. Turkey... It's a big fecking chicken that's all, 20 minutes per lb plus 20 minutes at 180 degrees - jobs a good un! Get yourselves a meat thermometer £3 off the Internet poke it in the offending bird if it says 75 degrees or over its cooked!
2. Stuffing - regardless of what Jamie Oliver says you do NOT need 2lbs of shoulder of pork, onions breadcrumbs,pine nuts and a shoot load of fresh herbs to make stuffing....( no fecking wonder he's bankrupt if thats what he spends to make stuffing!)
What you need is Paxo and a kettle!! If you wanna liven it up squeeze 3 sausages out of their skins and mix that in with your Paxo before cooking 😉.
3. Gravy - Jamie Oliver is copping for this one aswell....
Bisto Jamie.... All you need is Bisto!
I ( nor any other woman I know) has got time on Christmas Eve to piss about roasting chicken wings and vegetables, adding stock and flour,cooking it for another half hour, mashing it all up with a potato masher and then straining the whole sorry mess to make gravy 😠😠😠
4. Vegetables... Never mind faffing round shredding sprouts and frying them with bacon and chestnuts to make them more palatable... If you don't like them don't buy and cook the fecking things!! If your family only eats frozen peas then that's good enough!
5. Roast potatoes... Yes I par boil mine then roast them in goose fat but Aunt Bessie also does the same 😉.
6. Trimmings /Christmas pudding and the like.... Aldi or Lidl!
(oh and while we're on the subject of pudding- if birds custard is what your family likes on the wretched thing then that's fine - you do not need brandy butter /rum sauce etc or anything else that costs a fecking fortune and takes 2 hours to make!)
7. Family....
Children.. Feed the little blighters first separately, if they only want turkey with tomato sauce - fine leave em to it, it doesn't matter. Once they are fed bugger them off to play with their Christmas presents so that YOU can enjoy your dinner in Peace!
Adults... Anyone that can manage to get their sorry arse to your dinner table is also capable of helping to serve up/ sort the kids out/ clear the table /wash up /dry up etc.
And Finally.....
NO ONE.... And I mean no one APART FROM THE COOK IS ALLOWED TO GET PISSED AND FALL ASLEEP BEFORE THE WASHING UP IS DONE!!!
Rant over 😂
Merry Christmas!
P.s. I pinched this from another page so feel free to copy and share 🤣🤣
Do you know Sarah Blyther by any chance?
https://www.facebook.com/sarahblyther
 

Heltor Chasca

Out-riding the Black Dog
I’ll be having Christmas lunch out the back of my Carradice. Cheese rolls maybe, nuts, jelly beans, rice cakes, crépes etc. I’ll hopefully be doing a 200km ride I like.

It’s the first year my daughter will have Christmas at her mum’s in about 6 years so that’ll be odd for all. And she’ll be back on Boxing Day .

I’ll cook a chicken roast on New Year’s Eve. Yorkshire puddings are compulsory my 10 year old says.
 

Globalti

Legendary Member
We are going out to a local pub for Christmas dinner.
 
Ive done the usual all the trimmings dinner but this year we will probably have something a bit simpler maybe a steak and mashed pots with peas.
 

DaveReading

Don't suffer fools gladly (must try harder!)
Location
Reading, obvs
I'm not a huge fan of turkey, but my wife subscribes to the "all the trimmings" school of thought and, to be fair, does a bl**dy good Christmas dinner. My token contribution is usually to make the bread and cranberry sauces and the puddings.

That said, this year's will be rather different as it's going to be hospital turkey, so I'm not sure quite what to expect. I'll report back!
 

pawl

Legendary Member
Christmas Dinner....
I have concluded that the inevitable stress of Christmas dinner is created by adverts, supermarkets and TV chefs...
It's a Sunday dinner for farks sake!!! We do it quite happily 51 weeks of the year but can we the consumers be trusted to manage by ourselves on one day of the year...apparently not!
Here goes...
1. Turkey... It's a big fecking chicken that's all, 20 minutes per lb plus 20 minutes at 180 degrees - jobs a good un! Get yourselves a meat thermometer £3 off the Internet poke it in the offending bird if it says 75 degrees or over its cooked!
2. Stuffing - regardless of what Jamie Oliver says you do NOT need 2lbs of shoulder of pork, onions breadcrumbs,pine nuts and a shoot load of fresh herbs to make stuffing....( no fecking wonder he's bankrupt if thats what he spends to make stuffing!)
What you need is Paxo and a kettle!! If you wanna liven it up squeeze 3 sausages out of their skins and mix that in with your Paxo before cooking 😉.
3. Gravy - Jamie Oliver is copping for this one aswell....
Bisto Jamie.... All you need is Bisto!
I ( nor any other woman I know) has got time on Christmas Eve to piss about roasting chicken wings and vegetables, adding stock and flour,cooking it for another half hour, mashing it all up with a potato masher and then straining the whole sorry mess to make gravy 😠😠😠
4. Vegetables... Never mind faffing round shredding sprouts and frying them with bacon and chestnuts to make them more palatable... If you don't like them don't buy and cook the fecking things!! If your family only eats frozen peas then that's good enough!
5. Roast potatoes... Yes I par boil mine then roast them in goose fat but Aunt Bessie also does the same 😉.
6. Trimmings /Christmas pudding and the like.... Aldi or Lidl!
(oh and while we're on the subject of pudding- if birds custard is what your family likes on the wretched thing then that's fine - you do not need brandy butter /rum sauce etc or anything else that costs a fecking fortune and takes 2 hours to make!)
7. Family....
Children.. Feed the little blighters first separately, if they only want turkey with tomato sauce - fine leave em to it, it doesn't matter. Once they are fed bugger them off to play with their Christmas presents so that YOU can enjoy your dinner in Peace!
Adults... Anyone that can manage to get their sorry arse to your dinner table is also capable of helping to serve up/ sort the kids out/ clear the table /wash up /dry up etc.
And Finally.....
NO ONE.... And I mean no one APART FROM THE COOK IS ALLOWED TO GET PISSED AND FALL ASLEEP BEFORE THE WASHING UP IS DONE!!!
Rant over 😂
Merry Christmas!
P.s. I pinched this from another page so feel free to copy and share 🤣🤣
[/QUOTE

That page you nicked it from it wasn’t Charlie Dickens Christmas Carol was it
Happy Christmas .Have a great day.
 
Top Bottom