Conversations with non-cyclists
- Thread starter TrevorM
- Start date
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Saddle bum
Über Member
- Location
- Kent
My dear (late) mother: "You look after your bike so much, you shouldn't get p*******s.
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Pulled in for a cake stop, locked "Best Babe" to a chair. Family of mum and two boys in 20s looked at the machine and the normal comments came rolling out: Razor blade saddle, thin tyres with no tread, insurance, holding up proper road users.
Quietly responded with talk of anatomical saddles, kevlar lined tyres, "I am insured" and I have a right to be on the road (for free), it says so in the Road Traffic Act,
"Emmer chizet?" The answer makes him nearly drop his burger. "You can get a car for that". I said I did not want another car, but I have several more bikes at home.
"How many gears?" then "Why do you want 30 gears". "Because I cannot get one with 31"
I go in to pay. Mum is already there and she asks why we wear Lycra, at the same time patting my butt through my shorts. It's time to leave.
---------------------------
Pulled in for a cake stop, locked "Best Babe" to a chair. Family of mum and two boys in 20s looked at the machine and the normal comments came rolling out: Razor blade saddle, thin tyres with no tread, insurance, holding up proper road users.
Quietly responded with talk of anatomical saddles, kevlar lined tyres, "I am insured" and I have a right to be on the road (for free), it says so in the Road Traffic Act,
"Emmer chizet?" The answer makes him nearly drop his burger. "You can get a car for that". I said I did not want another car, but I have several more bikes at home.
"How many gears?" then "Why do you want 30 gears". "Because I cannot get one with 31"
I go in to pay. Mum is already there and she asks why we wear Lycra, at the same time patting my butt through my shorts. It's time to leave.
Arch
Married to Night Train
- Location
- Salford, UK
Standing on the platform on Friday, with folded Brom, I spotted a young lad (8 or 9 maybe) looking at it, and then saying to his mum, "look at that bike!". He kept looking, so I said "Do you want to see how it unfolds?" and he nodded, so I demonstrated, and then refolded it. They both said how clever it was, and then he asked "Is it a mountain bike?"
No, I said, not really, you could ride very gently offroad with it, but it's not really meant for that.
"How fast does it go?"
"Well, that depends on how fast you pedal, doesn't it?"
<look of 'oh yes, of course it does!, and a lot of nodding>
"How many gears has it got?"
"This one has three."
And he was satisfied with that. His mum said she'd never seen one like it, which makes me think she's not a native Yorkie, as the place is dripping with them!
2Loose
Guru
- Location
- Loughborough, Leicestershire.
My mum to a friend: He's just ridden to Cambridge from Nottingham.
Him: Why on earth did he do that?
Her: Because he could.
Him: Why on earth did he do that?
Her: Because he could.
markg0vbr
Über Member
- Location
- rawmarsh rotherham
try riding about on ether a recumbent trike or handcycle with crutches strapped on the back, the conversations can get quite odd.
just got to the pub for diner after riding 70 very hilly miles with all the camping gear, bar person watches me pull up on trike--"which has a faq sheet fastened on the fairing, which is fantastic as when some one starts with the usual drivel i just point to it and say i think i have covered most things on that but any thing you wont to know just ask"-- she is collecting glasses outside.
"that looks comfy!."
me, "yes thank it is very relaxing."
"come far?"
me, "Rotherham."
"today?"
me "yes, i go camping a few times a year with this."
"cogs working"," ho! it fits in the car then?"
me"yes but i have left the car at home and peddled here with my gear on the back"
"no your kidding!"
it was at this pint i unshipped my crutches and made the elegant rise to the vertical, i should point out at no point dose ether leg become detached or pass through the other and the accompanying grunts groans ect are essential to the process.
me"no, i try and ride about 100miles a week, just to keep myself going"
that cant be good for you!
what do you say to that?
just got to the pub for diner after riding 70 very hilly miles with all the camping gear, bar person watches me pull up on trike--"which has a faq sheet fastened on the fairing, which is fantastic as when some one starts with the usual drivel i just point to it and say i think i have covered most things on that but any thing you wont to know just ask"-- she is collecting glasses outside.
"that looks comfy!."
me, "yes thank it is very relaxing."
"come far?"
me, "Rotherham."
"today?"
me "yes, i go camping a few times a year with this."
"cogs working"," ho! it fits in the car then?"
me"yes but i have left the car at home and peddled here with my gear on the back"
"no your kidding!"
it was at this pint i unshipped my crutches and made the elegant rise to the vertical, i should point out at no point dose ether leg become detached or pass through the other and the accompanying grunts groans ect are essential to the process.
me"no, i try and ride about 100miles a week, just to keep myself going"
that cant be good for you!
what do you say to that?
Night Train
Maker of Things
- Location
- Greater Manchester
The other side of it:
Me: I took a Brompton to Germany earlier this year.
Friend: Wow! You rode it all the way?
Me: No, Silly. I went on a coach! Rode it while I was there.
Me: I took a Brompton to Germany earlier this year.
Friend: Wow! You rode it all the way?
Me: No, Silly. I went on a coach! Rode it while I was there.
Mad Doug Biker
Banned from every bar in the Galaxy
- Location
- Craggy Island
In future, be a REAL man and cycle!!
Yes, that REALLY maddens me - quite honestly, I couldn't give a flying **** about football, it is the Opium of the great unwashed masses, and I haven't had my frontal lobotomy yet either.
I get that feeling too at times, but don't go, the reason why you didn't really get any reply is because there wasn't much to reply too - we all know what you meant and have experienced your sentiments.
XmisterIS
Purveyor of fine nonsense
Posting on this forum is very often just exactly like pissing yourself in a dark suit - you get a warm feeling and nobody else notices.
Dayvo
just passin' through
- Location
- 59° 50′ 5.55″ N, 10° 47′ 41.89″ E
Bit of an over-reaction, wasn't it!
Don't see why you thought your post was 'totally pointless': no-one else did!
Stephenite
Membå
- Location
- OslO
If i ever get a response to a post i walk around all day thinking i'm Oscar Wilde.
Your post about the motor reminded me of a workmate who for months went on and on about hiding a motor in the frame of a bike. So not totally pointless.
Angelfishsolo
A Velocipedian
- Location
- Cwmbach, South Wales
Very similar -
Them - so how far did you ride toady
Me - Oh it was only a short one - 40 miles
Them - Short!!!! I could never do that.
Me - I have been cycling for a few years...
Them - I couldn't cycle 12 mile.
downfader
extimus uero philosophus
- Location
- 'ampsheeeer
Conversation with my non cycling wife. Me "I really could do with a touring bike as neither my road bike or the hybrid commuter bike is ideal for camping tours"
Her " How can you need another bike when you still only have one backside to sit on it? "
She really doesnt understand the N plus 1 thing.
Hmmm.. just skim read the thread.. but have you asked her why she has so many shoes when she only has 2 feet?
Have had my workmates tell me that its unnatural to cycle for 5 miles, as the "human body isnt built for it!" Made me laugh my arse off. Told another cyclist about it, medical student it turned out, he'd been on a lecture about human endurance through the histories. Humans, he said, were designed to run for 15-20 miles a day chasing their food, sometimes running up to 20mph.
Another mate at work had a sister who did a 160 mile ride for charity. He thought it a little mad. My reponse has always been one that riding the bike is a peice of p***, we learn it when we're kids and I dont know why more dont give it a go. He came around to my way of thinking.
Chef at work made some comment about Giant Haystacks when I'd put me bibs on in the changing rooms. I shouted "fancy a wrestle, then?!" Ran at the guy, and he actually cowered and squeeled. Everyone burst into a fit of laughter.
I've had this said to me many time
I'm 60...well in a few weeks time
I have a damaged spine and have emphysema and I've even got a blue disability card for my car
they just don't get it, why do they think you have to be fit to sit on your arse and pedal
Exactly.
Davidc
Guru
- Location
- Somerset UK
We obviously all get the same class of inane comments. My best this year was:-
Went to Wellington hospital week before last to have my eyes photographed.
Sat down to wait, having locked bike to railings outside.
A couple came in behind me and sat down next to me. (Both overweight, she was seriously so). They'd seen me locking the bike up. The conversation went like this (the best bits that I can remember).
Her: Did you ride that bike here?
Me: Yes (No time to think of no, I pushed it).
Her: You must live close then.
Me: Yes, Taunton.
Her: That's not close it's 10 miles away, must have taken you hours.
Me: About 50 minutes this morning.
Her: I couldn't do it in a week
Me <Thinks - No, and they don't make bikes that strong>
Me Lost for words which is unusual!
Him: How are you getting back then?
Me: On the bike
Him: You're too old for that you'll give yourself a heart attack.
Me: I had one of those a few years back, got through it because I keep fit cycling
Him: All the more reason you shouldn't be doing things like that. I hope you don't do it too often. How far do you ride then?
Me: Just under 2000 miles last year and aiming for about two and a half thousand this year.
Him: You must be mad. How often do you get knocked off it?
Me: Once in the last 50 years, and I fell off once as well.
Him: You've been lucky then.
Me: <Saved from getting rude by being called in>
Later: Waved to them as I carefully put my bike in front of their car in the ASL at traffic lights. Noticed that he was smoking. She at least smiled and waved back.
About 3/4 hour later: Waved again as I went past them as they waited in the traffic in Taunton. Her mouth really did drop open.
It was less boring than reading old copies of Country Life and What Car, and really quite funny. I was also told that he'd had 2 heart attacks, the first when he was 48 and now he's 55, so younger than me. Sad really. A couple of bikes 20 years ago and perhaps they'd have been fit and a lot healthier.
I'm 60 next year, with a few health conditions, and it sounds very familiar.
Chances are though NN that nonetheless we're fitter than most who make the silly comments, and many of them realise it.
Went to Wellington hospital week before last to have my eyes photographed.
Sat down to wait, having locked bike to railings outside.
A couple came in behind me and sat down next to me. (Both overweight, she was seriously so). They'd seen me locking the bike up. The conversation went like this (the best bits that I can remember).
Her: Did you ride that bike here?
Me: Yes (No time to think of no, I pushed it).
Her: You must live close then.
Me: Yes, Taunton.
Her: That's not close it's 10 miles away, must have taken you hours.
Me: About 50 minutes this morning.
Her: I couldn't do it in a week
Me <Thinks - No, and they don't make bikes that strong>
Me Lost for words which is unusual!
Him: How are you getting back then?
Me: On the bike
Him: You're too old for that you'll give yourself a heart attack.
Me: I had one of those a few years back, got through it because I keep fit cycling
Him: All the more reason you shouldn't be doing things like that. I hope you don't do it too often. How far do you ride then?
Me: Just under 2000 miles last year and aiming for about two and a half thousand this year.
Him: You must be mad. How often do you get knocked off it?
Me: Once in the last 50 years, and I fell off once as well.
Him: You've been lucky then.
Me: <Saved from getting rude by being called in>
Later: Waved to them as I carefully put my bike in front of their car in the ASL at traffic lights. Noticed that he was smoking. She at least smiled and waved back.
About 3/4 hour later: Waved again as I went past them as they waited in the traffic in Taunton. Her mouth really did drop open.
It was less boring than reading old copies of Country Life and What Car, and really quite funny. I was also told that he'd had 2 heart attacks, the first when he was 48 and now he's 55, so younger than me. Sad really. A couple of bikes 20 years ago and perhaps they'd have been fit and a lot healthier.
I've had this said to me many time
I'm 60...well in a few weeks time
I have a damaged spine and have emphysema and I've even got a blue disability card for my car
they just don't get it, why do they think you have to be fit to sit on your arse and pedal
I'm 60 next year, with a few health conditions, and it sounds very familiar.
Chances are though NN that nonetheless we're fitter than most who make the silly comments, and many of them realise it.
