CycleChat's cycling twonk of the year

[w00hoo_kent]

Spending ages worrying about the creaking crank before realising it was the leading edge of my trainer rubbing on the arm.

Convincing myself my gears had suddenly become all screwed up when I couldn't change up the cassette despite being near the middle, hassling over it for a mile and a half in traffic before realising that every time I pushed the lever the front mech moved. Then pushing the other lever and realising everything was fine with the mechs, it was just my head needed some work.

Driving to the Bath to Bristol railway path, going to unload the bikes and realising the key to the lock was still in the B&B, fortunately it wasn't *too* far away.

 

[SatNavSaysStraightOn]

how about fitting the cycle rack to the car driving 25 miles to the mountain bike trail then realizing you forgot to put the bike on the rack, does that make me a first class twonk

I take it you never use your rear view mirror? I am always checking that they bikes are still there!

Edit: I guess it could have been a roof mounted one though

 

[MossCommuter]

Yesterday when I got home I realised I'd forgotten my bicycle

 

[LCpl Boiled Egg]

(This happened a few years ago, so I may not be eligible for this year's competition... haha)

It's the Christmas holidays and I'm cleaning my bike ready to go back to work after a relaxing break. I've removed the chain for cleaning and am about to put it back on the bike. I go to put the chain on, forget there's nothing stopping the cranks from spinning round and get smacked in the eye by a pedal. I shout, causing my wife to rush out to see what the swearing is about. She trips over the back step and twists her ankle.

So I can't open my eye and my wife, with a bad ankle, has to drive me to the middle of nowhere to see the out of hours doctor. This was on New Years Day as well - I should have just watched the telly.

 

[Scoosh]

(This happened a few years ago, so I may not be eligible for this year's competition... haha)

It's the Christmas holidays and I'm cleaning my bike ready to go back to work after a relaxing break. I've removed the chain for cleaning and am about to put it back on the bike. I go to put the chain on, forget there's nothing stopping the cranks from spinning round and get smacked in the eye by a pedal. I shout, causing my wife to rush out to see what the swearing is about. She trips over the back step and twists her ankle.

So I can't open my eye and my wife, with a bad ankle, has to drive me to the middle of nowhere to see the out of hours doctor. This was on New Years Day as well - I should have just watched the telly.

Sorry - I couldn't help but at your and your wife's misfortunes !

 

[roadrash]

I take it you never use your rear view mirror? I am always checking that they bikes are still there!

Edit: I guess it could have been a roof mounted one though

thats what makes it even more twonkish ...it was rear mounted and yes i do uise my mirror, it just never clicked that the bike wasnt there

 

[glenn forger]

Posted this before but I drew level with a bloke on a Classic Dawes frame at the traffic lights. I was on my Galaxy.

"Sxxx bike!"

I said. As a joke. I was on a Dawes, thought he'd notice I was being friendly.

"Xxxx off!"

He said, and rode off before I could explain.

 

[AndyRM]

Another tale of cleat based twonkishness:

When I first upgraded to SPD I was quite chuffed that all installation efforts had gone smoothly. After half an hour of sweating and cursing as I practised propped up in my dining room I still couldn't get the buggers to engage. I took the shoes to work the next day, seeking a knowledgeable colleagues advice. Generously, he managed not to laugh as pointed out I'd screwed them in the wrong way up.

And an inner tube one:

When I first started out I decided to see how they worked outside a tyre. I kept on going until the inevitable explosion. Wouldn't have been a problem really, but they were slime filled efforts. There are still stains on the paving slabs at the front of the house.

And a clothes one:

Went out on my first long ride with no gloves, assuming a warm summer morning. I hadn't factored in the wind and couldn't use the brakes properly which made the steeper descents terrifying.

I'm sure I'll think of more...

 

[slowwww]

Coming to a halt at an unfamiliar set of traffic lights, and noticing that there was a handily placed traffic bollard so I decided that I could rest my hand on top of this and wait for the lights to change rather than unclipping from the cleats.

Unfortunately, the bollard wasn't fixed in position, and so as soon I leant any weight on this it started to slide across the pavement. The resultant noise of plastic scraping across pavement ensured that everyone in the local vicinity turned around to watch my less than stately progress to the ground like a felled redwood.

 

[IDMark2]

Has anyone done this? Stand to uhmmm..readjust lower half clothing whilst freewheeling at about 15mph, inadvertently stick heel of shoe in spokes of rear wheel bringing it to a sudden halt, skidding gradually to a halt while frantically trying in vain to remove said heel (completely forgetting that there is another foot that could be utilised when the inevitable forward motion finally runs out and choosing that side to fall on) and then slowly falling over still attached to bike as forward momentum does indeed run out, completely ruining, by wearing a single 2 inch spot of freshly fitted-that-morning new Bontrager Racing rear tyre through to the canvas, blowing the inner tube and having to bodge an emergency repair with a multitool pouch. No? Me neither.

 

[EltonFrog]

Coming to a halt at an unfamiliar set of traffic lights, and noticing that there was a handily placed traffic bollard so I decided that I could rest my hand on top of this and wait for the lights to change rather than unclipping from the cleats.

Unfortunately, the bollard wasn't fixed in position, and so as soon I leant any weight on this it started to slide across the pavement. The resultant noise of plastic scraping across pavement ensured that everyone in the local vicinity turned around to watch my less than stately progress to the ground like a felled redwood.

That deserves a King Of The Twonks Jersey that.

 

[AndyRM]

That deserves a King Of The Twonks Jersey that.

 

[w00hoo_kent]

Can you add the text "I've only gone & done it" under the tick?

 

[EltonFrog]

Can you add the text "I've only gone & done it" under the tick?

Brilliant!

 

[_aD]

Another tale of cleat based twonkishness

That's OK, there's really no need to tell us another one. We'll just assume that every fourth bike ride done be someone with SPDs manages a twonk. (FLAME RETARDANT CLOTHING: ENGAGED)