Daft questions about TdF from colleagues

[Saluki]

Over the last couple of days, ,y colleagues who know that I adore cycling, have decided that I am ‘the orcle’ and have asked random questions in light of the well publicised crashes.

Q. Why do they have to go so fast?
A. They are racing

Q. Why do they ride all across the road?
A. They are racing

Q. Why do they speed up at the end?
A. They are racing

Q. Why don’t they fence off ‘the track’.
A. 130 miles? Really

Q. Why do they have to take up all the space so the ‘traffic’ gets held up?
A. Explained about team cars, mechanics, medics etc

Q. Why. When they fall off and get battered up, do they get back on their bikes and carry on?
A. Because they are as hard as nails.

Q. Is that Welsh bloke really riding a bike with a dislocated shoulder?
A. No. They put it back in before he got up, back on his bike and on with the race (see previous answer)

Q. What is a Cavendish?
A. A legend. A bloody legend.

Q. Why isn’t that Boardman chap racing/Where is Brad Wiggins?
A. They got old and retired.

Q. Why didn’t they go round placard woman? Lots of questions about her.
A. She got in the way and they had nowhere to go. Calling them a bunch of snowflakes is not making you friends here Mr Senior QS

It cannot just be me with the dumb questions from the football fans and from people who didn’t realise that the Tour is not a ‘new event on the telly’. I said that they don’t fence off rally racing, that bits are fenced off. Gave up explaining about the points system as I don’t have a degree in Kafkaesque Higher Maths (I.e. I don’t really understand it totally myself).

Has anyone else had some wonderful questions from the uninitiated? I need to be armed with the answers for the next couple of weeks.

 

[sheddy]

I used to get told "but they all take drugs"
Hopefully I no longer need to answer to that one.

 

[Saluki]

I used to get told "but they all take drugs"

They are awesome. If I took drugs, I’d just fall off the bike.

I get a lot of drugs related questions. Sad really.

 

[welsh dragon]

. Bloomin priceless.

 

[mjr]

They are awesome. If I took drugs, I’d just fall off the bike.

I get a lot of drugs related questions. Sad really.

Last year, I covered half my body with one of those banned steroid creams for legitimate medical reasons. That weekend's ride was very easy. I can see why that stuff is banned

 

[Arrowfoot]

Over the last couple of days, ,y colleagues who know that I adore cycling, have decided that I am ‘the orcle’ and have asked random questions in light of the well publicised crashes.

Q. Why do they have to go so fast?
A. They are racing

Q. Why do they ride all across the road?
A. They are racing

Q. Why do they speed up at the end?
A. They are racing

Q. Why don’t they fence off ‘the track’.
A. 130 miles? Really

Q. Why do they have to take up all the space so the ‘traffic’ gets held up?
A. Explained about team cars, mechanics, medics etc

Q. Why. When they fall off and get battered up, do they get back on their bikes and carry on?
A. Because they are as hard as nails.

Q. Is that Welsh bloke really riding a bike with a dislocated shoulder?
A. No. They put it back in before he got up, back on his bike and on with the race (see previous answer)

Q. What is a Cavendish?
A. A legend. A bloody legend.

Q. Why isn’t that Boardman chap racing/Where is Brad Wiggins?
A. They got old and retired.

Q. Why didn’t they go round placard woman? Lots of questions about her.
A. She got in the way and they had nowhere to go. Calling them a bunch of snowflakes is not making you friends here Mr Senior QS

It cannot just be me with the dumb questions from the football fans and from people who didn’t realise that the Tour is not a ‘new event on the telly’. I said that they don’t fence off rally racing, that bits are fenced off. Gave up explaining about the points system as I don’t have a degree in Kafkaesque Higher Maths (I.e. I don’t really understand it totally myself).

Has anyone else had some wonderful questions from the uninitiated? I need to be armed with the answers for the next couple of weeks.

Thanks, enjoyed reading that. You should use this thread as an FAQ for those who want to know more in CC as well.

The purpose of the Peloton is the most often asked question in my workplace. Which requires a meeting at the pub.

 

[Blue Hills]

I used to get told "but they all take drugs"
Hopefully I no longer need to answer to that one.

What WAS your answer THEN?

 

[Blue Hills]

What is the point of a last day which is not a race?

 

[Dogtrousers]

What is the point of a last day which is not a race?

Except it is a race just not a race for the overall race win. Obviously.

 

[Landsurfer]

Except it is a race just not a race for the overall race win. Obviously.

Except for the couple of occasions when it has been ....

 

[Blue Hills]

Except it is a race just not a race for the overall race win. Obviously.

Still don't get it.
Like going to a cup final and then sitting there with your pie to see the teams trot out and perform a ballet.

 

[Salad Dodger]

What I don't get is......

They all have GPS transmitters on the seatpost of their bikes. Why can't the organisers use those to give exact timings for each rider crossing the finish line, and aggregate those exact times to determine the race winner? No bonus seconds, or bunches of riders all being given the same time as the first rider in the bunch. Make it more like.. you know.... a race.

 

[Dec66]

I used to get told "but they all take drugs"
Hopefully I no longer need to answer to that one.

You can always say "what's to stop you taking the same drugs and being out there with them?"

 

[Blue Hills]

What do the riders do for toilet stops, both types?
Amongst that cavalcade of vehicles is there a mobile lav i haven't spotted?

 

[Drago]

Ah, the advantage of not having colleagues is that I don't get constand SFQ's.