Dead neighbour etiquette

[Archie_tect]

Ok........I give in, I've tried to leave the thread alone.....but.....what was special about the Yorkshire pud knife & fork that only came out on Sundays?

Taken out of context, it does sound odd! ...but it was one of those daft family traditions I would have liked to have continued... my grandad was fantastic.

 

[MarkF]

But don't expect to get unanimous support for your approach.
But be honest man, if you didn't think this was at least a bit dodgy you wouldn't have started this thread.

I am honest! I found getting rid of my dad's "stuff" a right pain, now I covet the bike that belonged to a dead man, no, I don't think there is anything dodgy in asking to purchase it, which I will, at some point. Nor have I asked for and nor did I expect, unanimous support. Replies range from "go for it" to "wait/guage for the right time" to comparing me to Burke and Hare, I think all opinions have been expressed now and that's just fine. I'll post the outcome.

Taken out of context, it does sound odd! ...but it was one of those daft family traditions I would have liked to have continued... my grandad was fantastic.

These Sunday special Yorklshire pud knife and fork are going to stick in my mind.

 

[ufkacbln]

February the 29th, 1900 and Minnie Mouse.

There.

Of all the most wondrous things that have happened to me on this forum, this is the most wondrous of all!

You appear to be my long lost brother!

 

[jugglingphil]

If you haven't done so you should pop round to your neighbours, offer of condolences and support. Talk about how you knew her husband and how you'll miss the chats you had about your shared passion, cycling.
Before you can ask about the bike you must build up a channel of communication. Your sympathies at this time will mean a lot to your neighbour and should be offered even if there isn't a bike up-for-grabs.

 

[rich p]

Do we know what this fecking bike is? It must be something pretty special to generate all this heat.

 

[SavageHoutkop]

If you haven't done so you should pop round to your neighbours, offer of condolences and support. Talk about how you knew her husband and how you'll miss the chats you had about your shared passion, cycling.
Before you can ask about the bike you must build up a channel of communication. Your sympathies at this time will mean a lot to your neighbour and should be offered even if there isn't a bike up-for-grabs.

^ This. Another member here with a recently deceased father and the same sort of thing - lots of stuff in the garage which would mean a lot to the right person (which is not my mother). My mother has done a lot of sorting out of paper and suchlike and would be glad to sell bits to the right person but is also wary of being taken for a ride (because she knows my father would have been annoyed by it!). We did have an offer at the funeral of someone who could come and have a look at things in the garage, and we had been thinking of asking that same person to come and have a look beforehand. Your neighbour may have other cycling friends who have already offered to come and have a look.
Everyone takes grief differently but your neighbourly support at this time, bikes or no bikes, will be invaluable.

 

[MarkF]

If you haven't done so you should pop round to your neighbours, offer of condolences and support. Talk about how you knew her husband and how you'll miss the chats you had about your shared passion, cycling.
Before you can ask about the bike you must build up a channel of communication. Your sympathies at this time will mean a lot to your neighbour and should be offered even if there isn't a bike up-for-grabs.

This sounds good, but she does not know me, I've never seen her actually outside her house, offering condolence & support prior to asking about the bike, might easily be misinterpreted, we've sent a card, as we do with any local bereavment, tbh I think it's better that I am straight about it. I'm 80/20 sure (based on what I know so far) it'll be ok.

Do we know what this fecking bike is? It must be something pretty special to generate all this heat.

There is some special stuff in there but it's not the expensive stuff I am after. It is a steel '80's bike, it was always hung up, never saw him ride it. I've seen similar go on Ebay for £200/300, it's beautiful (to me) but no big deal.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

If you haven't done so you should pop round to your neighbours, offer of condolences and support. Talk about how you knew her husband and how you'll miss the chats you had about your shared passion, cycling.
Before you can ask about the bike you must build up a channel of communication. Your sympathies at this time will mean a lot to your neighbour and should be offered even if there isn't a bike up-for-grabs.

Make a passing comment about 'what is going to happen to the garage then?'

 

[MarkF]

Well, I spoke to a few locals who knew the widow, trying to assess what would be an appropriate time to approach her, happily, none of them thought that my desire for the dead blokes bike was wrong or disrespectful. The timing was what bothered me (and them), nothing else ..........her windows were full of flowers, I decided to wait till they were gone, taking their absence as a sign she was moving towards dealing with practical matters.

The flowers went, a few days later I knocked on the door. We spoke and I bought the bike, it was an entirely normal transaction. I'm now helping her clear out the workshop and with the writing of auction adverts for the rest of things that need to be sold (mostly cycle related ) so that she can terminate the a garage lease.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Well done, I hope the dead guy would have wanted you to enjoy getting the use of it!

 

[Shaun]

Yeah, I like the bit about helping her with the auction stuff - I'm sure she'll appreciate the help.

 

[postman]

Well done markF.

 

[rollinstok]

Hope you didn't put those tyres I sold you on a dead mans bike

 

[MarkF]

The tyres have gone on my hybrid, starting June 8th they are going to roll to Malaga. If I meet an untimely end on the Iberian peninsula then they'll be 6 bikes up for grabs, I won't mind (I'll be dead) and my good lady would have a tidy garage and cellar.