Dealing with abuse

[Chief Broom]

The worst one ive had in the last couple of years -
Going along the A9 approaching a side road on my left a following car decided to overtake me and swerve in front of me to turn left.....i had to do an emergency stop and almost rammed the side of the car. The driver wound down his window and i said "what the f*** was that" the driver said " i did warn you" [by indicating before his swerve] I called him a stupid ***t and he started to get out of his car...his partner/wife/passenger held him back and he drove off

 

[Jody]

Depends entirely on the situation but I don't usually hear them as i'll have my headphones in.

 

[Fastpedaller]

I was abused by someone who I recognised (Father of Daughter's friend 15 years ago). As soon as I said 'Hey, I think I recognise you?' That shut him up, especially when I said 'I think I'll call the Police' - He took off quickly.
Could be a good one (even if you don't know them)
'Hello Mate, how are you? - haven't seen you for a while'

 

[Electric_Andy]

I had a knuckle dragger losing his shoot a few months ago because I'd held him up somehow (I don't know how as it was a 20 zone, I was doing 20 and moved out of the cycle lane because there was a car in it. Started with him swerving into the cycle lane, so I just shot past him and dared look at him. Cue him trying to chase me through traffic. Catches me then I get a massive torrent of abuse. I just tell him to shut up and I've got his company name and reg. Shame it turned out to be a very small business - probably just him.

I've had success in the past by phoning up the company and the Managing Director phoned back to apologise - in that case it was a local building supplies firm, and the driver cut the corner, forcing me onto the pavement, then when I turned round, he stopped and reversed his truck at me - then followed a massive argument - fortunately witnessed by a neighbour. The MD was quite happy if I reported the driver to the police.

Smile and Wave usually confuses them these days.

It's always builders/roofers/scaffolders isn't it!

 

[roubaixtuesday]

It's always builders/roofers/scaffolders isn't it!

People driving high powered expensive cars in my experience. In one case, on the school run with ~8yo alongside.

 

[Electric_Andy]

This was part of the reason I gave up cycle commuting, and to a lesser extent cycling as well. Looking back, it was my own fault. Where I should have just ignored it, I found myself arguing back, shouting, doing all sorts of rude things and arriving at my destination more stressed/anxious/angry. If you can, just ignore them or or smile and wave (not to provoke, just to show you have heard them and you have filed their complaint under "B" for bin. It's harder than it sounds, especially if you have a short fuse with such things, but ignoring should be an end goal worth persuing

 

[Willd]

Does "nice arse" count

 

[Brandane]

they're probably over-compensating, and they think six inches is huge.

You mean it's NOT??

 

[Slick]

It's always builders/roofers/scaffolders isn't it!

Scaffolders are you best drivers in the world.

Every time I noticed a mirror or bumper hanging off a truck, I would ask them who did it and all they would say was, it wasn't them.

 

[tyred]

It's a shame modern cars are so fat andad bloated (like their drivers). Back in the day Id have stood a reasonable chance on being able to lift something like a Fiat panda onto its side. Try doing that now when even a lowly Fucus chimes in at a tonne and a half.

At my secondary school, a very unpopular geography teacher came out after school to find some fifth year lads had lifted her Renault 4TL around so it was wedged between the hedge and another car.

 

[fossyant]

At my secondary school, a very unpopular geography teacher came out after school to find some fifth year lads had lifted her Renault 4TL around so it was wedged between the hedge and another car.

That may have happened at my secondary too.

 

[Albrey]

This was part of the reason I gave up cycle commuting, and to a lesser extent cycling as well. Looking back, it was my own fault. Where I should have just ignored it, I found myself arguing back, shouting, doing all sorts of rude things and arriving at my destination more stressed/anxious/angry. If you can, just ignore them or or smile and wave (not to provoke, just to show you have heard them and you have filed their complaint under "B" for bin. It's harder than it sounds, especially if you have a short fuse with such things, but ignoring should be an end goal worth persuing

Both the times I've had verbals from motorists I've in some sense colluded in it happening in the sense that I decided to stop on the first occasion, and in the second I made eye contact with them. Both could have been avoided if I'd ridden away.

In terms of day-to-day stress, I generally find it more difficult to ignore the close passes particularly from head-on traffic on residential roads, where they clearly go for the 'might is right' and just assume you'll get out their way. I don't quite get the mindset where someone forces there way through knowing they could cause serious injury if anything went wrong.

 

[wafter]

Looking back, it was my own fault. Where I should have just ignored it, I found myself arguing back, shouting, doing all sorts of rude things and arriving at my destination more stressed/anxious/angry.

No, it wasn't your fault. While perhaps you could have handled things better, it was nobody's fault other than the irrational, angry little men who saw fit to begin the abuse.

I know ideally it's always safest to let it go, however for me the self-criticism for not reacting and "letting them get away with it" is as bad / worse than any fallout I've (so far) encountered from reacting. It feels like failing to react is just confirming my utter lack of worth as suggested by the actions of the antagonistic driver in the first place..

 

[Greasy Gilbert]

I was on a speed awareness course for my sins and during a discussion ( i use the term loosely)...it suddenly became very anti cyclist. When it became obvious that I was the only cyclist in the room, I calmly asked the gobby ring leader if he had children and he said that he did.
I asked him hyperthetically that if he ever needed to take said offspring to A&E to be treated for something major, would it ever cross his mind to ask what form of transport the Nurse or Doctor used? In his quest to get his kid mended, perhaps he might not mind in the least that the attending Nurse or Doctor had come to work on a bike but if they had, would he refuse treatment until a bona fide car driving Nurse or Doctor showed up? Of course he wouldn't.
I then asked him if he still felt that his previous argument that "all cyclists are w**kers" held any weight? Cyclists are people and people are cyclists I told him. At this point, the room went a bit quiet save for the sound of slowly turning, unlubricated cogs in the Dolts' head.

The bloke running the course later asked if he could use this pearl of wisdom in future discussions.

Now.....I know what youre thinking. How do I say all that if its a moving vehicle or a gang of scrotes?
Well, obviously in that situation, you can't but as @Paulus says, just give em a wave and pass on by.
Its more their problem than it is yours.

 

[All uphill]

Both the times I've had verbals from motorists I've in some sense colluded in it happening in the sense that I decided to stop on the first occasion, and in the second I made eye contact with them. Both could have been avoided if I'd ridden away.

I salute you for your honesty and insight.

In terms of day-to-day stress, I generally find it more difficult to ignore the close passes particularly from head-on traffic on residential roads, where they clearly go for the 'might is right' and just assume you'll get out their way. I don't quite get the mindset where someone forces there way through knowing they could cause serious injury if anything went wrong.

More and more I've come to believe that many motorists play "chicken". If the other car/cyclist/ pedestrian shows any hesitation the driver will push through.

On the bike I take the road space early, if I have priority. Seems like most drivers can read this and will wait quietly. By doing it early I have time to dive for cover if needed.