Don't 'buddy' me, buddy!

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There's still an element of that respect left at work. I have a personal unwritten rule, but it's pretty common. With a hierarchical rank structure there's a difference between a group situation and face to face. Generally to my team or anyone else I'm known as "Boss" or "Sir". I like both, and use both to anyone above my rank. If however I have been on the same team at the same rank as anyone during any part of my career, I'll use their first name and be happy to be called by my first name face to face. In a meeting with anyone present up or down the hierarchy I will use "Sir" or "Ma'am" unfailingly. I expect in a work situation, to be called "Sir" or "Boss" by subordinates (nasty word, but this is hierarchy, not dictatorship), and there are very few occasions where this isn't followed. I have only ever once taken someone to task for calling by my first name, and he was a cock anyway.

It's a simple mark of respect. It's accepted, and it's not as value laden as some folk would make out. I remember a home visit from a Chief Inspector when I was a Sergeant and my neighbour overheard me calling him Sir as he was getting into his car. The neighbour, an intelligent but somewhat "right-on" type tried to tell me I was a subservient idiot for kowtowing to the man who didn't deserve any form of abasement on my part. I pointed out that that attitude was possibly why he was unable to hold down any sort of job despite being qualified to Masters level.
So you lived in a world where someone with a masters degree couldn't succeed because he wasn't deferential enough, and you think that is ok?
 

Profpointy

Legendary Member
So you lived in a world where someone with a masters degree couldn't succeed because he wasn't deferential enough, and you think that is ok?

I read it as being the suggestion he had a chip on his shoulder - which isn't quite the same thing. I've always been in "first name" organisations, and in my first jobs in the early 80s found it slighly odd refering to very senior people by their first names, having been Dr this, Professor that at uni, and brought up on office sitcoms where it was all Sir and so on.

But even now, I'd be wary of hiring someone with a problem with authority. I'd certainly expect people to tell me I'm wrong and argue their case, but having had their say I expect people to comply with good grace and willingness even if they don't agree.

The other side to this is with some Indian suppliers, where it seems the work culture is more subserviant, I've had to tell them " if I'm talking rubbish, please tell me - don't just go and do as I say" - so there's certainly a balance.

I did hear a nice story from an ex-army collegue as a young subaltern being told by the RSM (who he technically outranked) in no uncertain terms exacly what to say at a meeting, and to report back as soon as he returned. These were clearly orders not suggestions
 
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SpokeyDokey

67, & my GP says I will officially be old at 70!
Moderator
I read it as being the suggestion he had a chip on his shoulder - which isn't quite the same thing. I've always been in "first name" organisations, and in my first jobs in the early 80s found it slighly odd refering to very senior people by their first names, having been Dr this, Professor that at uni, and brought up on office sitcoms where it was all Sir and so on.

But even now, I'd be wary of hiring someone with a problem with authority. I'd certainly expect people to tell me I'm wrong and argue their case, but having had their say I expect people to comply with good grace and willingness even if they don't agree.

The other side to this is with some Indian suppliers, where it seems the work culture is more subserviant, I've had to tell them " if I'm talking rubbish, please tell me - don't just go and do as I say" - so there's certainly a balance.

I did hear a nice story from an ex-army collegue as a young subaltern being told by the RSM (who he technically outranked) in no uncertain terms exacly what to say at a meeting, and to report back as soon as he returned. These were clearly orders not suggestions

What if they were right and you were wrong? :smile:

On a slightly different note I don't think respect has anything to do with authority in the types of scenarios in the above posts.

Authority is simply part of an individuals mandate, it's the 'what they can do' part of their role description.

Respect is the way that individual views, and is viewed by, other individuals as a result of positive experiences.
 

srw

It's a bit more complicated than that...
We are now a first-name organisation in the UK, although when I started our local boss was a Mr. That's not true globally. What amuses me the most is the deference in a certain major Western European country paid to anyone with an academic doctorate. Most people are "firstname lastname". But if you have a doctorate you are always "Dr lastname."

Which is all the more amusing because one of the issues in the global organisation has always been people being employed straight from university to work in global head office to implement, worldwide, the entirely theoretical work they did to earn that doctorate. It rarely works.
 

Haitch

Flim Flormally
Location
Netherlands
What amuses me the most is the deference in a certain major Western European country paid to anyone with an academic doctorate. Most people are "firstname lastname". But if you have a doctorate you are always "Dr lastname."

Herr oder Frau Professor Dr Shirley?
 

speccy1

Guest
I am fussy with this, only one person on this planet calls me buddy and that`s my best mate, everybody else need not apply, especially not a spotty barman when I buy a pint:evil:

Another one is "darling", my nan calls me that, and always has done, it`s her place, and it warms my heart to hear it:smile: I hate it coming from anybody else, it`s wrong
 
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