Don't they grow up quick nowadays?

[Fnaar]

I mentioned before mine are bigger now (youngest 9, eldest 15) and so the toddler stage is well behind us... hats off to redcogs for doing it all again (though you say there wasn't much involvement, etc**), coz I get a warm glow of schadenfreude when I see parents struggling with pushchairs, crying nipper, etc.... I just could not go back there (and have had the snip anyroad, to make sure I don't )

**Going back to your post redcogs, not everyone fulfilled the expected roles... my parents (both job-seeking immigrants from Ireland) both worked full-time, mum on nights for 17years while we were kids), and so dad had quite a lot to do with us, incl cooking, cleaning, etc... this was the early-mid 60s, and his assumed role was not unusual in our street (most folks worked in the same place, and were in similar circumstances, and 85% were from abroad).

 

[redcogs]

I mentioned before mine are bigger now (youngest 9, eldest 15) and so the toddler stage is well behind us... hats off to redcogs for doing it all again (though you say there wasn't much involvement, etc**), coz I get a warm glow of schadenfreude when I see parents struggling with pushchairs, crying nipper, etc.... I just could not go back there (and have had the snip anyroad, to make sure I don't )

**Going back to your post redcogs, not everyone fulfilled the expected roles... my parents (both job-seeking immigrants from Ireland) both worked full-time, mum on nights for 17years while we were kids), and so dad had quite a lot to do with us, incl cooking, cleaning, etc... this was the early-mid 60s, and his assumed role was not unusual in our street (most folks worked in the same place, and were in similar circumstances, and 85% were from abroad).

Thanks for reminding me of the dangers of stereotyping based on personal experience Fnarr. my journey has been particular, and of course i have known others of my generation who came through totally different circumstances.

Its a salutary lesson.

 

[User169]

I've been impressing on my little friend Joe (aged 5) the importance of avoiding it whenever possible.

Good stuff Nick. I'm trying to work out how best to "deschool" the little Ms Delftse Posts myself.

 

[tdr1nka]

You know how proud you feel when you say, 'What's that?' and they sweetly tell you, duck, dog, blue, green, etc.?

Go easy on instigating this kind of rapport as when they are old enough they repay the compliment 100 fold and communicate with you in the way you taught them.

'Daddy, what dat? What dat? What dat? Ad infinitum.

The next stage of course is the dreaded, 'Why? Why? Why?' which you will need all your patience for.

 

[yoyo]

I'd second removing the mid-day nap as it appears that she is getting too much sleep with the nap and evening combined. Our three are in their 20s now but we had some 'fun' with three children under three. Our daughter was the worst; boys need their sleep IOE. The secret to a good night's sleep from the kids is to make sure they are well tired when going to bed. Removal of the mid day nap can make for hard afternoons - just bring bedtime forward a notch. It is important to be kind but very firm or they rule the roost.

 

[Trillian]

oh, oh

[books tickets for the one place in the world his gf won't follow him]

 

[NickM]

Good stuff Nick. I'm trying to work out how best to "deschool" the little Ms Delftse Posts myself.

Yes, I fail to see the correlation between "education" and "work" which seems so apparent to most people. And, for that matter, that between "school" and "education". Why shouldn't learning be joyful? Why need it take place only in schools?

If I had children (I don't; I'm not terribly keen on them), I certainly wouldn't subject them to the horrors of school. I hated it - why on earth would I send my own offspring there?

 

[domtyler]

I'm dreading having to balance nurturing sociability with freedom of expression whilst doing as little psychological damage as possible......... at the moment (11 months) all the inbuilt drives to explore, investigate, manually manipulate and pull apart are so strong and wonderous to behold that it (will soon) feel like an assault to start curtailing them for any reason other than safety...
The 'civilising' process........ the necessary evil

Then don't, why would you?

 

[GaryA]

Then don't, why would you?

You must have a parting in your hair like the red sea Dom...so many things go straight over your head

 

[Arch]

You know how proud you feel when you say, 'What's that?' and they sweetly tell you, duck, dog, blue, green, etc.?

Go easy on instigating this kind of rapport as when they are old enough they repay the compliment 100 fold and communicate with you in the way you taught them.

'Daddy, what dat? What dat? What dat? Ad infinitum.

The next stage of course is the dreaded, 'Why? Why? Why?' which you will need all your patience for.

I'm looking forward to that, safe in the knowledge that I see Oli about once a month and it's his mum and dad will have to really deal with it...

Last week he sat in his high chair and I said "where's the clock?" and he pointed at it, followed by "where's the washing machine" and "where's the light", all of which he got right. They are all still called "ba!" by him though, as he can't talk yet, well not in English, he's obviously having a conversation in his terms.

Although when his mum opened up his picture book at the dog/cat page he could point at the cat when asked, but when asked where the dog was, he pointed at his granny. So he's got a little way to go.

I can understand what Gary means though - you want them to be confident and exploring and all that, but you know that eventually you'll have to lay down some seemingly arbitrary rules, and there'll be no better explanation for some of them at an early stage than "because I say so". Oli is just learning that a stern 'no!' means he should stop what he's about to do, and it's working, but you can see that he's also just starting to think "well, what happens if I don't stop?" And he has an expression of temper which is cute at the moment because it's rather ineffectual and he can't keep it up long, but you know by the time he's two, it'll be a full blown tantrem...

 

[domtyler]

You must have a parting in your hair like the red sea Dom...so many things go straight over your head

In that case it's a good job that you are here to patiently explain them to me I guess!

 

[NickM]

...They are all still called "ba!" by him though, as he can't talk yet, well not in English...

Maybe he's a foundling from the planet Ba! The inhabitants of planet Marklar seem to manage perfectly all right with just the one noun

 

[Arch]

Maybe he's a foundling from the planet Ba! The inhabitants of planet Marklar seem to manage perfectly all right with just the one noun

That might be it!

 

[domtyler]

I can understand what Gary means though - you want them to be confident and exploring and all that, but you know that eventually you'll have to lay down some seemingly arbitrary rules, and there'll be no better explanation for some of them at an early stage than "because I say so". Oli is just learning that a stern 'no!' means he should stop what he's about to do, and it's working, but you can see that he's also just starting to think "well, what happens if I don't stop?" And he has an expression of temper which is cute at the moment because it's rather ineffectual and he can't keep it up long, but you know by the time he's two, it'll be a full blown tantrem...

Any examples of some of these arbitrary rules that need to be laid down but have no basis in safety? (As Gary has kindly pointed out these kind of things tend to go straight over my head! )

 

[Arch]

Any examples of some of these arbitrary rules that need to be laid down but have no basis in safety? (As Gary has kindly pointed out these kind of things tend to go straight over my head! )

Well I read it as stuff like politeness, social norms and so on - not staring at people who look different, not making impolite comments out loud, knowing when to argue and when to let something go...

Also, whose or what's safety? It might not harm your little girl to feed ham into the DVD player, but it's probably not going to do the DVD player much good. And while she might be welcome to scribble on her own toys with a permanent marker, do you want the same on your new big telly?