Maz
Guru
I really don't think this is advisable. Civility is called for.
Bullies look for a reaction from you and if you swear at them, that would only escalate things further.
Downstairs neighbour. I am looking for advice
- Thread starter Saluki
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Bullies look for a reaction from you and if you swear at them, that would only escalate things further.
jayonabike
Powered by caffeine & whisky
- Location
- Hertfordshire
Better than that, stare at her straight in the eye, tell her if she doesn't shut the **** up, and keep her nosey ****ing face out of your ******* buisness, she'll be woken by being ****** in the face with a large ****** stick by you or your partner. That should do the trick.
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swee'pea99
Squire
You Lib Dems, you're all alike...
U
User6179
Guest
Personally I would welcome AC/DC playing upstairs neighbours with their guitars and dogs if I was on the niteshift
Edit- and if they missed one of the 3 notes I would be up there telling them to stfu!!
Harsh but fair!!
Or are these quiet AC/DC playing guitar playing dog barking neighbours??
This thread is what happens when you hear one side of an argument!!!!
Edit- and if they missed one of the 3 notes I would be up there telling them to stfu!!
Harsh but fair!!
Or are these quiet AC/DC playing guitar playing dog barking neighbours??
This thread is what happens when you hear one side of an argument!!!!
Last edited by a moderator:
CopperCyclist
Veteran
She sounds an awful example of a human being, and to be honest I think you just need reassurance that you aren't doing anything wrong. Whilst you will get it here from us, I suggest you all your upstairs neighbour, or neighbours either side (if you have any?) for their honest opinion on if YOU are a bad neighbour. If they tell you they have no problem, you know it's her and I'd ignore her and live my life - she doesn't sound like someone that's going to come and kick your door down and attack you, just a sad old lady with nothing to do.
The Jogger
Legendary Member
- Location
- Spain
You have put in reasonable adjustments and she is still moaning, I would suggest going back to living a normal life. Why worry about the dog at night if she works nights?
RWright
Guru
- Location
- North Carolina
I was lucky when I was learning to play guitar (acoustic) while in college. My roommate (who was teaching me) and I lived in some older really well built single floor apartments with thick walls, we also lived in an end apartment. Never any complaints from our next door neighbors and we played a lot, and many times until almost sunrise. We had very understanding neighbors too I think. We would even ask her if we ever bothered her and she always said no problem.
asterix
Comrade Member
- Location
- Limoges or York
Yes, wait till she goes out then superglue the lock.
(ps I know some very normal half-breeds. She sounds like at in-bred)
Thomk
Guru
- Location
- Warwickshire
Here is a true story from over 2000 years ago.
"Anabasis" describes the retreat of the 10,000 Greek soldiers from deep inside Persian lands around 400 BC and within it you may find the answer to your problem. The pertinent passages are described here:
In short the 10,000 Greeks had been employed as mercenaries in a Persian civil dispute but then found themselves surplus to requirements and many hundreds of miles from home in hostile territory surrounded by tens of thousands of potentially hostile troops. They tried their best to come to an accommodation with the Persian King who pretended to deal with them but secretly wanted to destroy them. They bent over backwards in their efforts to be reasonable until the Persians invited the Greek high command to a meeting where they arrested and beheaded them. The Persians still tried to maintain the pretence of negotiation.
The Greeks were full of pity and hopelessness. They were far from home, leaderless, hungry and surrounded by wolves waiting to feast on their terror. At this point, just as their position seemed hopeless, a chap called Xenophon made a decision which changed the fortunes of these 10,000 men. In short he decided to cut off all communications with the Persians and declare war on them. The Greeks elected new leaders and decided to place the fate of their small army entirely in their own hands and do whatever was necessary to get themselves home (they succeeded).
The lesson here is to STOP trying to deal with this woman entirely and once and for all. Declare her your enemy because that is what she truly is. All her dealings with you are designed to wear you down and defeat you and you are allowing it to happen. Ask yourselves what it is you want to achieve from this situation (to live your lives in a reasonable way as you see fit with reasonable regard for others?) and pursue this aim relentlessly WITHOUT FURTHER REGARD FOR YOUR ENEMY. Until you change your mindset on this you will struggle to cope with your situation. Good luck.
"Anabasis" describes the retreat of the 10,000 Greek soldiers from deep inside Persian lands around 400 BC and within it you may find the answer to your problem. The pertinent passages are described here:
In short the 10,000 Greeks had been employed as mercenaries in a Persian civil dispute but then found themselves surplus to requirements and many hundreds of miles from home in hostile territory surrounded by tens of thousands of potentially hostile troops. They tried their best to come to an accommodation with the Persian King who pretended to deal with them but secretly wanted to destroy them. They bent over backwards in their efforts to be reasonable until the Persians invited the Greek high command to a meeting where they arrested and beheaded them. The Persians still tried to maintain the pretence of negotiation.
The Greeks were full of pity and hopelessness. They were far from home, leaderless, hungry and surrounded by wolves waiting to feast on their terror. At this point, just as their position seemed hopeless, a chap called Xenophon made a decision which changed the fortunes of these 10,000 men. In short he decided to cut off all communications with the Persians and declare war on them. The Greeks elected new leaders and decided to place the fate of their small army entirely in their own hands and do whatever was necessary to get themselves home (they succeeded).
The lesson here is to STOP trying to deal with this woman entirely and once and for all. Declare her your enemy because that is what she truly is. All her dealings with you are designed to wear you down and defeat you and you are allowing it to happen. Ask yourselves what it is you want to achieve from this situation (to live your lives in a reasonable way as you see fit with reasonable regard for others?) and pursue this aim relentlessly WITHOUT FURTHER REGARD FOR YOUR ENEMY. Until you change your mindset on this you will struggle to cope with your situation. Good luck.
OP
OP
Saluki
World class procrastinator
- Location
- ...Norwich over the water.
We realise this but the PC is in here at the moment as our our Guitars
We are going to buy new slippers later (and fish food Ken says) and see if we can find a couple of cheap rugs to throw down, ones that are thin enough to go through the wash. I am probably going to knit some new rugs from old tee shirts later. I find knitting nearly as calming as playing my guitar. My life is very rock n roll.
I am happy to go a little way to noise dampening, especially over the cushion flooring as it is not as good at sound dampening as carpet, but after your lovely responses we are much happier that we are not actually demons here. We will take sensible measures and then she can do what she likes.
Last night she was having the loudest conversation with her friends until the dot of 11pm. They were doing that forced laughter thing and were actually louder than our TV. We sat in our living room, watching something or other, giggling like kids about it. We could hear every single word, clearly. We don't have the TV on loudly and we mute the bloomin' adverts. Silly silly woman.
We have decided to look for an exchange come May. Its not worth the stress.
Having had a good night's sleep, I am feeling a lot more positive. I will have a chat to my GP about the anxiety of it all when I go for my knee check up this week so there will be a note of it should she try to make something up again.
OP
OP
Saluki
World class procrastinator
- Location
- ...Norwich over the water.
She has complained about that too. Loudly and at length. She even heard us 'jog' at 10am on a Saturday while she was at work 2 miles up the road! The bed squeaks really loudly apparently. Funny we can't hear it but she has ears like a bat, as I have said before. Ken says that he is going to beat a pillow with his belt, while I sit in the chair yelling my head off so she will really have something to talk about
asterix
Comrade Member
- Location
- Limoges or York
Another Greek option is Stoicism
Stoicism is a school of Hellenistic philosophy founded in by Zeno of Citium in the early 3rd century BC. The Stoics taught that destructive emotions resulted from errors in judgment, and that a sage, or person of "moral and intellectual perfection," would not suffer such emotions.
Stoics were concerned with the active relationship between cosmic and human, and the belief that it is to maintain a will (called ) that is in accord with nature. Because of this, the Stoics presented their philosophy as a way of life, and they thought that the best indication of an individual's philosophy was not what a person said but how they behaved.
Later Stoics, such as Seneca and , emphasized that because "virtue is sufficient for happiness", a sage was immune to misfortune. This belief is similar to the meaning of the phrase "stoic calm", though the phrase does not include the "radical ethical" Stoic views that only a sage can be considered truly free, and that all moral corruptions are equally vicious.
A Stoic , would amend his (her in this case) will to suit the world and remain, in the words of Epictetus, "sick and yet happy, in peril and yet happy, dying and yet happy, in exile and happy, in disgrace and happy," thus positing a "completely autonomous" individual will, and at the same time a universe that is "a rigidly deterministic single whole.
Whether or not you succeed in converting your neighbour to Stoicism, I still think you should be using electric guitars and find a drummer who could help you practice.
Stoicism is a school of Hellenistic philosophy founded in by Zeno of Citium in the early 3rd century BC. The Stoics taught that destructive emotions resulted from errors in judgment, and that a sage, or person of "moral and intellectual perfection," would not suffer such emotions.
Stoics were concerned with the active relationship between cosmic and human, and the belief that it is to maintain a will (called ) that is in accord with nature. Because of this, the Stoics presented their philosophy as a way of life, and they thought that the best indication of an individual's philosophy was not what a person said but how they behaved.
Later Stoics, such as Seneca and , emphasized that because "virtue is sufficient for happiness", a sage was immune to misfortune. This belief is similar to the meaning of the phrase "stoic calm", though the phrase does not include the "radical ethical" Stoic views that only a sage can be considered truly free, and that all moral corruptions are equally vicious.
A Stoic , would amend his (her in this case) will to suit the world and remain, in the words of Epictetus, "sick and yet happy, in peril and yet happy, dying and yet happy, in exile and happy, in disgrace and happy," thus positing a "completely autonomous" individual will, and at the same time a universe that is "a rigidly deterministic single whole.
Whether or not you succeed in converting your neighbour to Stoicism, I still think you should be using electric guitars and find a drummer who could help you practice.
OP
OP
Saluki
World class procrastinator
- Location
- ...Norwich over the water.
We tried that. We got a very stiff "I don't really drink". I suggested a cuppa and a bun but she wanted me to put the dogs in the car first and vacuum in case there were dog hairs. Quite likely in our house, hairs.
D
Deleted member 23692
Guest
Nothing you do is ever going to make her STFU, so stop trying.
