Ever amazed by your own stupidity?

[Mo1959]

I nearly set the house on fire on Monday! Order of cat food in a great big cardboard box which I plonked on top of the cooker to open later. Went through to the bedroom to have a short lie down as I had a headache. After a few minutes I could smell smoke. Rushed through to see smoke billowing out of the kitchen. I must have knocked the cooker nobs when I lifted the box and 2 rings were on full under the box. It was smouldering and just another minute from really going up. What if I had gone out. Bloody idiot

 

[dicko]

I got up one morning and removed four pork chops from the freezer for Sunday dinner. They were frozen together so with a sharp kitchen knife I started to prize them apart. The knife slipped and I stabbed my left hand quite deeply. I went upstairs with by hand wrapped in a kitchen towel, awoke my wife saying “can you drive me to the hospital “
The hospital wasn’t busy and they dressed the hand and put my arm in a sling. Which looked good when I went to work on Monday.

 

[bikingdad90]

Cycled to work today and forgot my trainers. The floors are made of tile and I’m not clip clipping round in look keo cycling shoes! Socks it is.

Atleast I sit at a desk pressing buttons and playing with excel and not doing graft.

 

[Squirrel Chaser]

Cycled to work today and forgot my trainers. The floors are made of tile and I’m not clip clipping round in look keo cycling shoes! Socks it is.

If you had a sensible set of Shimano pedals and shoes there would be no problems 😂

 

[Profpointy]

40 years ago, lived in a house with a 1 in 3 slope driveway up from the garage to the wide pavement.
Pulled car onto the pavement to do some DIY maintenance (remember when that was possible???)
Finished job.
Set off down the slope to return the car to the garage forgetting I had not fully closed one of the rear doors, which swung open.
Gate posts are very hard and leave a nice dent and crease in car doors even at low speed

A workmate recounted a similar scenario which happened to his neighbour. He regularly rolled
the car downhill into the garage without starting it. For some reason he'd had to park on the street on one occasion but when he went out to roll the car in as per usual, he realised he didn't have his keys, as usually it wasn't necessary as he rarely locked the car at home. Rather than go inside for the keys he decided to push it into the drive then hop in once he had it on the sloping bit. I think you can already see where this is going ! Of course, he failed to get in in time and the car picked up enough speed to smash into the wall at the back of the garage. The story had it that it smashed through into the sitting room but perhaps that's a bit of literary embelishment

 

[Alex321]

A workmate recounted a similar scenario which happened to his neighbour. He regularly rolled
the car downhill into the garage without starting it. For some reason he'd originally parked on the street on one occasion but when he went out to roll the car in as per usual, he realised he didn't have his keys, as usually it wasn't necessary as he rarely locked the car at home. Rather than go inside for the keys he decided to push it into the drive then hop in once he had it on the sloping bit. I think you can already see where this is going ! Of course, he failed to get in in time and the car picked up enough speed to smash into the wall at the back of the garage. The story had it that it smashed through into the sitting room but perhaps that's a bit of literary embelishmet

I do remember when I was a kid in the early '70s and we lived in a council house which had a garage backing onto it, but the garage was for another house.

The occupant of that house had one of the old-fashioned (at the time!) Rovers, a seriously big and heavy car. One day, putting the car into the garage, he hit the accelerator instead of the brake, and the car just smashed straight through the back wall of the garage - giving my mum rather a shock as she was sunbathing on the back lawn at the time!

The car had a few minor scratches but no serious damage, the whole back wall of the garage had to be replaced.

 

[Dogtrousers]

If I'm having porridge for breakfast I generally make it up in a saucepan the night before, so it's ready to cook in the morning.

Last night, I put the porridge into the saucepan, put the porridge container away in the cupboard, looked for the milk. No milk anywhere. I was sure there was some, in fact I had just taken it out of the fridge. Check fridge. Double check fridge. Search around me. Eventually found the milk in the cupboard, where I thought I'd just put the porridge container, which was still in front of me.

 

[Profpointy]

Another good one which perhaps just about qualifies. A workmate used to play the tuba to a semi-pro standards and got paid gigs from time to time. He was playing in a professional musical or whatever it was and in one act they didn't have to play at all. Him and his oppo realised they had time for a cheeky pint in between. Whilst he was telling the tale I suspected where the story was going and asked "you made it back in time I hope" and the guy said "We did ... for the first two nights" The conductor went mental with them afterwards "totally unprofessional" etc, which it was, particularly as it was a paid gig.

 

[DCLane]

Cycled to work today and forgot my trainers. The floors are made of tile and I’m not clip clipping round in look keo cycling shoes! Socks it is.

Atleast I sit at a desk pressing buttons and playing with excel and not doing graft.

I keep several suits plus a pair of 'nice' shoes at work along with emergency shirt/underwear just in case I forget anything.

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

Another good one which perhaps just about qualifies. A workmate used to play the tuba to a semi-pro standards and got paid gigs from time to time. He was playing in a professional musical or whatever it was and in one act they didn't have to play at all. Him and his oppo realised they had time for a cheeky pint in between. Whilst he was telling the tale I suspected where the story was going and asked "you made it back in time I hope" and the guy said "We did ... for the first two nights" The conductor went mental with them afterwards "totally unprofessional" etc, which it was, particularly as it was a paid gig.

Richard Harris tells a similar story. IIRC, he was in a three act play somewhere and didn't actually appear in the 2nd act at all so took to nipping out to the pub in costume at the end of Act I for a swift little drinky before returning in time for his entrance in Act III. All worked well until he got chatting to an old friend at the pub and exhorted him to come and see the show. "Don't worry about tickets, I can get you in", he said. Which he duly did, dragging his chum in through the stage door and out to the stalls where he sat with him to watch the show. They were thoroughly engrossed in the story when Harris piped up, "Oh, you'll like the next bit - I'm in it". There was a pause.then "Oh shoot, oh shoot" as he leapt to his feet and ran backstage.

 

[Profpointy]

Richard Harris tells a similar story. IIRC, he was in a three act play somewhere and didn't actually appear in the 2nd act at all so took to nipping out to the pub in costume at the end of Act I for a swift little drinky before returning in time for his entrance in Act III. All worked well until he got chatting to an old friend at the pub and exhorted him to come and see the show. "Don't worry about tickets, I can get you in", he said. Which he duly did, dragging his chum in through the stage door and out to the stalls where he sat with him to watch the show. They were thoroughly engrossed in the story when Harris piped up, "Oh, you'll like the next bit - I'm in it". There was a pause.then "Oh shoot, oh shoot" as he leapt to his feet and ran backstage.

I was thinking about that one when I typed about the tuba guy. It's a classic isn't it

 

[Jameshow]

Not me, but my brother in law a few years back, went to hammer in a post in the garden with a sledge hammer. Forgot there was a washing line running just in front of him until the sledgehammer caught it and sprang back.

Resulted in rather a large lump on his forehead , but fortunately no long term damage (apart from him being reminded of it at every opportunity).

Just seen a video of a guy undoing bolts on top of coil spring between his legs....!

 

[oldwheels]

A previous post reminds me of an incident locally.
A neighbour parked his car pointing downhill next to a fence. His battery was dud so he attempted a bump start.
Reached in and let off handbrake then tried to jump in when car started to move. Got half way in when door was caught by a fence post and tried to close. I looked out and saw the car static and his head just visible above the car. Thought nothing of it but looked out a few minutes later and nothing had changed so went out to check. It seems others also had noticed this and as soon as I appeared people began to run in from all sides. He had been caught by the neck and our combined efforts managed to shift the car and free him. The wife of the local constable who was a nurse appeared running down as well and tried to revive him but admitted it was too late. He was dead.

 

[ColinJ]

Just seen a video of a guy undoing bolts on top of coil spring between his legs....!

Pah... Watch this!

 

[rockyroller]

Pah... Watch this!

going to remember this one, the next time I feel like complaining about my job