Friend who disappeared has been found, but he doesn't seem too keen on meeting up

[Accy cyclist]

Let it go.

Yeah, if we did meet up he'd probably talk about 'Engurland' and fecking Leeds United all night!!That's all he waffled on about 20 years ago when I last saw him, so I don't think he'll have changed much.

 

[Accy cyclist]

Then there's the thought he might turn crazy in drink like he used to do. One night walking home from Blackburn after a Friday night out he smashed a massive plate glass window (he booted it and I managed to pull him away before the top bit of the glass fell like a guillotine on his leg), set fire to a phone box and chucked a house brick through a car's windscreen!

 

[classic33]

You get a couple of text messages from a number you don't know, sent by a person who said he knew you twenty years ago, how would you feel?

 

[Accy cyclist]

You get a couple of text messages from a number you don't know, sent by a person who said he knew you twenty years ago, how would you feel?

Yes but I knew him for decades, not just a year or so. We were 'the best of buddies', not just distant friends. True, It's a lot to take in when someone contacts you out of the blue, but that's why I thought I'd let it sink in overnight then see how he reacted the following day(today).

 

[classic33]

Yes but I knew him for decades, not just a year or so. We were 'the best of buddies', not just distant friends. True, It's a lot to take in when someone contacts you out of the blue, but that's why I thought I'd let it sink in overnight then see how he reacted the following day(today).

Or someone who knew both of you. @stephec has come close with what he said, there may be something in those twenty years that he doesn't want to talk about.

At the least, give him time to check what you've told him is true. Then let him decide.

 

[ebikeerwidnes]

One of my friends tried to get a reunion going as we were all 60 last year
Only about 15 replied - and several dropped out
in the end we were offered a VERY posh place to meet up - but needed at least 15 and there was no way we could make that sort of number

In spite of there being a lot of people in the original email list (although it was hidden) the ones who replied were the ones that have all, apparently, done quite well for themselves.
A lot of the people that I knew were in the lower sets and streams - none of them responded - I know several other people who knew about the reunion but were not interested

It will be interested if it ever happens - my life experiences are very different to most of the other people (one is now a Sir!!!)

 

[Accy cyclist]

(one is now a Sir!!!)

The bloke who lives in Spain and is coming over here next month is a financial consultant and the one I texted last night is in the 'Civil Service' whatever that means. When/If I tell them I work part-time in a shop they might look down on me a bit. I suppose I could say I own the shop and don't just work in it!

 

[BoldonLad]

We are all (thankfully) different.

I have never deliberately "disappeared", but, I am a sort of "look to the future, not the past" sort of person. It is not that I am disinterested in what friends/colleagues of the past, who I have lost contact with, are doing now, I just want the "short version" not "chapter and verse", and, similarly I have no compunction to tell my life story to people who I have not seen or heard of for years and years.

Perhaps, your "old friend" has a similar view on life, nothing personal, he (or she) has just "moved on".

 

[raleighnut]

Then there's the thought he might turn crazy in drink like he used to do. One night walking home from Blackburn after a Friday night out he smashed a massive plate glass window (he booted it and I managed to pull him away before the top bit of the glass fell like a guillotine on his leg), set fire to a phone box and chucked a house brick through a car's windscreen!

So a 'normal' night out in Blackburn.

 

[Accy cyclist]

So a 'normal' night out in Blackburn.

Yeah, happy days!!

 

[classic33]

The bloke who lives in Spain and is coming over here next month is a financial consultant and the one I texted last night is in the 'Civil Service' whatever that means. When/If I tell them I work part-time in a shop they might look down on me a bit. I suppose I could say I own the shop and don't just work in it!

Be yourself, and if that isn't good enough for them...

 

[stephec]

So a 'normal' night out in Blackburn.

No, a quiet one, but if you went up the road to Burnley.......

 

[yello]

All this has got me thinking and I've got to admit I'm not really one to give advice here as my perspective is skewed. Aside from my wife (and my direct family) I'm not now in touch with anyone I knew from before I came to France some 14 years ago.

I'm just not someone who keeps in touch. I move away and, eventually, fall out of touch with people. I'm used to both disappearing and being disappeared.

I 'know' more people here on CC than I know from my school days! How sad is that!

 

[raleighnut]

No, a quiet one, but if you went up the road to Burnley.......

Darwen was rough when I used to go up that way (ex was from Blackburn)

 

[stephec]

Darwen was rough when I used to go up that way (ex was from Blackburn)

If you think that Darwen is a step down from Accrington then Burnley is another two steps down. 😂