Funerals (yours)

[slowmotion]

Burning viking longboat, the full trimmings please. I plan on going to Valhalla in the afterlife.

Surely, you missed out the bit where your many distraught girlfriends hurl themselves on your funeral pyre?

 

[Vapin' Joe]

I know a few people who have had just the basic cremation, no service, they call it direct cremation and I think its about £1500ish. That's what I would want, and that's what David Bowie had.

That's what me and mine have decided on. I wouldn't want to burden her with the expense and bother of organising a funeral and she feels likewise. I have instructed that no one in the family is told about my demise till after it is all over.

 

[Kingfisher101]

Someone we know was that distressed about her mother dying that at the burial she threw herself in the hole after the coffin was lowered in.

 

[Dave7]

My brothers partner wanted her body to be donated to science. When the time came they didn't want it as the had enough already so they dispose of the body.

My mother's funeral in 2022 was horrible. Pouring down with rain and a family that all stood apart from each other due to family factions.

I don't want my family to have the stress of organising and paying a huge amount just to see a coffin put into a fire, so I want one of those funerals where they take the body, cremate it and return the ashes. No fuss, no hassle and no stress. And I hope they all get together and have a toast to me and talk about the stupid things I've done during my life.

Be one hell of a size urn if it's got to fit those bloomers in

 

[Ming the Merciless]

thoughts are that I would like my body donated to science so I could be of some sort of use to the wider world.

They might use your body to test explosives …

 

[Ming the Merciless]

I quite like the idea of a woodland burial. Haven’t really looked into it. Best make sure I die when the bluebells are out and the birds singing away.

 

[Dave7]

When my wife died in June I wanted simple, really basic. My family wanted a service (which my SiL took). I went with the family wishes as we all love each other and I decided to please them, not just me. We went to a pub afterwards and I have to say it was pleasant talking to all those people.
There is no "right" way but I was pleased that the family were happy with it all (if you can be happy with such an occasion).

 

[steveindenmark]

David Bowie did not have a funeral. He went straight to the cremetoriam and his ashes returned to his family.

I will do the same. My ashes will be spread on my favourite beach in front of my favourite beach grill., in the summer. Whoever turns up can then go and have chicken and chips on me. 🙂

 

[ianrauk]

Put my ashes into a bloody great big firework and whoooosshhhh BAAAANG!!! Light up the sky.

 

[ClichéGuevara]

I'm not sure if it's available around here yet, but I like the idea of composting. It takes a few months to turn you to mulch, and then you can either be spread on a garden, or my choice would be to be spread across local woodland.

 

[welsh dragon]

One of my grandsons wants his ashes to be made into a firework then Boommm

 

[Time Waster]

Non-religious, simple service for me, with "Look for the bare necessities of life" selected as the final song, by my all time hero, Baloo the Bear from my all time favourite film, the Jungle Book (1967 Cartoon version of course).

I think if my relatives insisted on a funeral I'd choose it's a mad world, the Danny Jules version from Donny Darko. Or loser by Beck. Or something truly depressing. See my earlier post for reasons. Simply put I don't really want one for me so if they're having one against my wishes then it's going to be a sad affair!

Seriously though, what I want doesn't matter as I'll be dead. My dead body is theirs to own within the laws of where I'm died of course. So they'll do whatever they want. Unless you pay for and organise everything upfronr before you die, and they let it happen. I think most people are not going to go against a prepaid for funeral, right?

 

[Time Waster]

I'm not sure if it's available around here yet, but I like the idea of composting. It takes a few months to turn you to mulch, and then you can either be spread on a garden, or my choice would be to be spread across local woodland.

Ah but would the nutrients from your compost affect the natural balance in the woodland? You'd not want to harm the finely balanced ecosystem would you? Like a banana peel in the fells you can have more impact than you think by adding unnatural things into an ecosystem that's not set up for it. Or perhaps not I don't know.

 

[Yellow Fang]

I am having one of them woodland burials. I have already paid Coop for the funeral and the wickerwork coffin. I paid for a plot in the field. Cycled up there last year. It is rather peaceful. Saplings down one end of the field. No grave stones, but there are some wooden frames with slates commemorating the dead. I have not decided on the service, but at some point in the proceedings I want G.K. Chesterton's Rolling English Road read out, Spirit of the Sky (original version) and By the Rivers of Babylon (the Rastafarian version, not the Boney M cover).

 

[stephec]

I hope they all get together and have a toast to me and talk about the stupid things I've done during my life.

You want everyone to take a week off work? 😂😂😂