Funny (genuine) nicknames for people you have known of.

[Drago]

If there were married coppers then having, for example, 2 x PC Smiths could be confusing. Therefore, they would henceforth be known as Balls Smith and No-Balls Smith, although some killjoy married lady officers would keep their maiden name for work purposes and thus deftly avoid the No-Balls prefix.

I never did discover how this convention would work if two male bobbies got married as both would, presumably, have balls.

 

[bruce1530]

I never did discover how this convention would work if two male bobbies got married as both would, presumably, have balls.

Only if they could dance....

 

[Pale Rider]

There was a copper who was undergoing a sex change who became known as the no knobby Bobby.

An openly gay inspector in Sunderland was known as the pink commander.

I mentioned elsewhere about a large lass who made what the police decided were false complaints of sexual assault.

They called her the Spacehopper.

 

[winjim]

'Genuine'

 

[Tenacious Sloth]

The Falkland Islanders were all known as Bennys to the military detachment as they all wore woolly hats and looked like Benny out of Crossroads, including most of the women.

An order came down from ‘on high’ decreeing that the Islanders were no longer to be referred to as Bennys as it was disrespectful.

Ever since they have been known as Stills, which stands for ‘Still Bennys’.

 

[DCBassman]

I once worked in a London office with a very large girl. Not fat, all in proportion, but very, very tall. Eventually, she became the receptionist at the west end office, and I saw her there one day while delivering some paperwork. A guy came in and started giving her the chat-up lines, and she let him carry on a bit, then said, "I'll just go and get so-and-so for you". She got up. And kept on getting up.
She was 6'9".
I never dared find out her name, let alone any nickname...
The reality was that she was actually a very quiet, retiring sort. But incredibly intimidating!

 

[Poacher]

My elderly art teacher in the mid 60s was called Soapy because of his surname.
Production of Hudson's soap had ceased in 1935, but generations of schoolboys had continued the tradition.

The IT head of SGB group in the early 70s, Don Kerr, was nicknamed Wang.
Puzzling, because we had an ICL mainframe, but no Wang computers at all.

 

[swee'pea99]

The Falkland Islanders were all known as Bennys to the military detachment as they all wore woolly hats and looked like Benny out of Crossroads, including most of the women.

An order came down from ‘on high’ decreeing that the Islanders were no longer to be referred to as Bennys as it was disrespectful.

Ever since they have been known as Stills, which stands for ‘Still Bennys’.

Reminds me of the nickname apparently given to old biddies at bus stops by the drivers: twirlies.

Their free bus passes becoming 'live' only at 9.30, they would greet drivers with: "Am too early?"

 

[rikki]

A bloke with Placebo embroidered on his work shirt.
I asked him why, and he replied -
"That's what they call me at work"

 

[Dave7]

One from many years ago.
A young girl, maybe 11 or 12, was upset and my mates wife asked her what was wrong.
"Its all the girls in class.....they call me pissy knickers".
TBH you didn't have to get too close to know why.

 

[Badger_Boom]

My elderly art teacher in the mid 60s was called Soapy because of his surname.
Production of Hudson's soap had ceased in 1935, but generations of schoolboys had continued the tradition.

I had a friend whose surname was Castle and that we oldies nicknamed Roy. Neither he nor any of our other coworkers born after the 70s had a clue why, likewise a guy called Cartwright who we called Hoss.

My favourite though was a guy who for reasons that are unimportant was nicknamed Fish. After an unsuccessful attempt to join the French foreign legion, it changed to Poisson.

 

[gavgav]

We called one of our colleagues "Teflon", because whatever he got caught doing wrong, nothing ever stuck. The man could have been fired a dozen times but always got away with everything.

We had a director nicknamed “Teflon Ted” at our place. Utterly useless chap, who couldn’t direct anything. I always remember flagging a seriously bad waiting time performance position to him and his response back was can’t we alter the figures?! Errrr no we can’t.

 

[newfhouse]

There’s a chap at our place who never removes his jacket and always seems ready to leave early. He’s known as Coaty McCoatface.

 

[Fergs]

Most of the nicknames at school were based on people’s appearance, so we had a Bagpuss, Honey Monster and Herman (Munster). Kids can be horrible .
In the world of work, a manager was known as the Jellyfish, since we thought they had no heart, brain or spine.
My favourite funny nickname is the one bestowed on Neil Warnock, the less-than-popular football manager: Colin. (If you don’t know this one already, think anagram)

 

[Rusty Nails]

When I was a kid we had a bin-man who was called "eighteen months".

Half of one ear was missing.