Gender - Men - Men's English Vs. Women's English

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yenrod

Guest
Women's English

Yes = No

No = Yes

Maybe = No

I'm sorry = You'll be sorry

We need = I want

It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by
now.

Do what you want = You'll pay for this later

We need to talk = I need to complain

Sure ... go ahead = I don't want you to

I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!

You're ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot

You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think
about?

Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs

This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house

I want new curtains = ... and carpeting, and furniture,
and wallpaper

Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!

I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep

Do you love me = I'm going to ask for something expensive

How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not
going to like

I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good
game on TV

Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful

You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me

I'm not yelling = Yes I am yelling because I think this is
important



Men's English

I'm hungry = I'm hungry

I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy

I'm tired = I'm tired

Do you want to go to a movie = I'd eventually like to have sex
with you

Can I take you out to dinner = I'd eventually like to have sex
with you

Can I call you sometime = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

Nice dress! = Nice tits!

You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to fondle you

What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question

I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?

I love you = Let's have sex now

I love you, too = Okay, I said it ... We'd better have sex now!

Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = Okay, I said it ... We'd
better have sex now!

Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a
deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex
with me

Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex
with other guys

(While shopping): I like that one better = Pick any bloody dress
and let's go home and
have sex!"[/LEFT][/CENTER][/RIGHT][/CENTER][/LEFT]
 

gbb

Legendary Member
Location
Peterborough
:biggrin::biggrin::biggrin:

Good rule of thumb....tell women what they want to hear. It's much less hassle.
 
yenrod said:
Men's English

Do you want to go to a movie = I'd eventually like to have sex
with you

Can I take you out to dinner = I'd eventually like to have sex
with you

Can I call you sometime = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

Nice dress! = Nice tits!

You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to fondle you

What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question

I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?

I love you = Let's have sex now

I love you, too = Okay, I said it ... We'd better have sex now!

Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = Okay, I said it ... We'd
better have sex now!

Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a
deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex
with me

Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex
with other guys

(While shopping): I like that one better = Pick any bloody dress
and let's go home and
have sex!"[/LEFT][/CENTER][/RIGHT][/CENTER][/LEFT]



I thought men were more interested in sex than that. :biggrin:
 

Maz

Guru
And a couple entries in A Man's Dictionary:

Bigamy: A state of being married to one woman too many.
Monogamy: See definition at Bigamy.
 

atbman

Veteran
Gender-based lies:

Him -I'm just stopping off on the way home for a quick pint with the lads (2 hours)

Her - I just want to pop into IKEA for a couple of minutes to pick up a duvet cover which matches the curtains, I saw on our last visit, (the heat death of the universe will arrive sooner)
 
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