Gender - Men - Men's English Vs. Women's English

Discussion in 'CycleChat Cafe' started by yenrod, 8 Apr 2008.

  1. yenrod

    yenrod Guest

    Women's English

    Yes = No

    No = Yes

    Maybe = No

    I'm sorry = You'll be sorry

    We need = I want

    It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by

    Do what you want = You'll pay for this later

    We need to talk = I need to complain

    Sure ... go ahead = I don't want you to

    I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!

    You're ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot

    You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think

    Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs

    This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house

    I want new curtains = ... and carpeting, and furniture,
    and wallpaper

    Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!

    I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep

    Do you love me = I'm going to ask for something expensive

    How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not
    going to like

    I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good
    game on TV

    Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful

    You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me

    I'm not yelling = Yes I am yelling because I think this is

    Men's English

    I'm hungry = I'm hungry

    I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy

    I'm tired = I'm tired

    Do you want to go to a movie = I'd eventually like to have sex
    with you

    Can I take you out to dinner = I'd eventually like to have sex
    with you

    Can I call you sometime = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

    May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

    Nice dress! = Nice tits!

    You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to fondle you

    What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question

    I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?

    I love you = Let's have sex now

    I love you, too = Okay, I said it ... We'd better have sex now!

    Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = Okay, I said it ... We'd
    better have sex now!

    Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a
    deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex
    with me

    Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex
    with other guys

    (While shopping): I like that one better = Pick any bloody dress
    and let's go home and
    have sex!"[/LEFT][/CENTER][/RIGHT][/CENTER][/LEFT]
  2. gbb

    gbb Legendary Member


    Good rule of thumb....tell women what they want to hear. It's much less hassle.
  3. LordoftheTeapot

    LordoftheTeapot Veteran

    Any sex one sex would sex think sex us sex men sex have sex a sex one sex track sex mind
  4. "You're ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot"

    My favourite. Oh so true...
  5. Rapples

    Rapples Guru

    Yenrod you forgot the last one.

    Those shoes go really nicely with that handbag = I'm gay:smile:
  6. Cycling Naturalist

    Cycling Naturalist Legendary Member


    I thought men were more interested in sex than that. :biggrin:
  7. Maz

    Maz Legendary Member

    And a couple entries in A Man's Dictionary:

    Bigamy: A state of being married to one woman too many.
    Monogamy: See definition at Bigamy.
  8. atbman

    atbman Veteran

    Gender-based lies:

    Him -I'm just stopping off on the way home for a quick pint with the lads (2 hours)

    Her - I just want to pop into IKEA for a couple of minutes to pick up a duvet cover which matches the curtains, I saw on our last visit, (the heat death of the universe will arrive sooner)
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