Gift Suggestion for a Male Friend

[DCLane]

Cufflinks, tie pin (if he wears ties), nice wallet. Those sort of simple things.

 

[PaulSB]

You want to do something nice for him. Great idea. I would emphasise the "do something."

Speaking as a man the last thing I want as a gift is a piece of jewelry. I can't imagine why I would want to wear anything like this. Physical gifts of any sort mean little to me.

I'm married so I partly appreciate the difficulty as I have a very dear female friend. When I feel she needs a bit of a boost I find something for us to do together. An afternoon or evening out. It means a lot more than a physical gift providing some relaxation and a memory.

I should add my wife would know what I was doing.

 

[Cycleops]

The cufflinks are a nice idea but does he wear double cuff shirts,? These would really only be worn with a whistle and these days hardly anyone wears them with a trend towards more casual wear.

 

[mudsticks]

You want to do something nice for him. Great idea. I would emphasise the "do something."

Speaking as a man the last thing I want as a gift is a piece of jewelry. I can't imagine why I would want to wear anything like this. Physical gifts of any sort mean little to me.

I'm married so I partly appreciate the difficulty as I have a very dear female friend. When I feel she needs a bit of a boost I find something for us to do together. An afternoon or evening out. It means a lot more than a physical gift providing some relaxation and a memory.

I should add my wife would know what I was doing.

I'd pretty much echo PaulSB here.

Most of us don't really want more 'stuff'

And jewellery, rightly or wrongly could send some kind of unintended message, particularly in the eyes of his partner.

If this chap in is having relationship difficulties / doldrums or whatever, then I can't imagine receiving such things from a female friend would help, it could cause unnecessary friction.

I'd personally stick with chocolates or a nice non alcoholic drink..
There's lots of more 'sophisticated' types available now.

And most importantly just keep being a good friend, ready to be there, and listen in a non judgemental way.

Having close supportive friends, is really valuable , and you're clearly that to this chap.

That's enough on it's own really.

A nice card containing supportive words, for the year to come, plus 'consumables' of some sort, and you're good, I'd say..

 

[HobbesOnTour]

Some jewellery, in my opinion, is inappropriate in these circumstances. A troubled marriage, a female friend buying jewellery? It could all go horribly wrong. If you don't know the partner you are only getting one side of the story.

A Swatch/Fitbit, for example is hardly intimate, a vintage tie pin may well be.
If you, he, or especially the partner are uncomfortable then that's a problem. Given that he disposed of gifts from a previous relationship it looks like he may think that way too.

If you do decide to go down the jewellery route, then there is a danger that he won't have a clue what he likes! There are cufflinks and there are cufflinks. If he's never had any he probably hasn't put much thought into it - until he gets them. And you have no idea of what he likes either unless he has told you.

Lots of irreligious people wear religious symbols.
You could also think of a belt/buckle. Perhaps a (vintage) shaving set - the brush, the soap, the old school razor. It can change shaving from a chore into a bit of self pampering time.
Less intimate, more practical

As @PaulSB says an activity is probably a better way of showing support. If you brought him along to a vintage (or other) jewellery expo you could open his eyes, offer advice, make suggestions, encourage but step back from the actual purchase.
So long as his partner is comfortable then it's a win win.

Personally, I'd tread very, very carefully. At least you know what to get to mark the occasion of his divorce.

 

[Reynard]

Doing something together has its logistical issues as we're at opposite ends of the country. We've pencilled in the Goodwood Festival of Speed, and some stock car racing for next year, but his schedule isn't as flexible as mine.

You folks are picking up on the exact thing that's bugging me i.e. sending the wrong message, and I really appreciate that. I really don't want things to go *KABOOM*

I do like the idea of the shaving set, but he prefers to keep what hair he has left to him on his face. Not sure he'd react to being gifted a can of Mr Sheen...

Maybe painting one of his racing cars might be an idea...

 

[CanucksTraveller]

@HobbesOnTour has said everything I wanted to, so I can only echo it. Jewellery, if he liked it, he'd already own some. A gift to a married friend can be troublesome potentially, what with a partner lurking in the background, however estranged.

I've bought two dear female friends (both married) sets of nice gin glasses, bottles of gin (rare ones for the guys sniggering at the idea of some Bombay), nice journals, stationery and nice pens, these were aligned to their interests and agreed through careful conversations as not being troublesome or intimate. They have bought me gifts too, again aligned to my interests and thoughtful as to how "intimate" they could be conceived.

You know him, you know the relationship, just get him something thoughtful that can't be seen as intimate but which shows you have considered his likes or loves. I think you seem to have an idea already, (motorsport is a theme obviously), but jewellery ain't it.

 

[rikki]

A picture, painting or sketch of one of his cars, or something else that interests him, sounds like a good idea.

What about a book?

 

[Milkfloat]

Is he a penknife kind of person or a multi tool kind of guy? I am trying to think of something he can treasure that won’t get him in trouble with his other half. Either that or a tattoo.

 

[slowmotion]

I don't know anything about trinkets to adorn the body, not owning a watch or a pair of cufflinks. The "out of the blue" presents that I most appreciated are tickets/vouchers for unusual experiences. Ms. slowmotion bought me a bee taster. 30,000 bees in a hive in Kennington Park from a distance of about ten inches sometimes. Gripping stuff.

Google "Bee Urban".

 

[Reynard]

Buying him a book is like taking coals to Newcastle - he owns a bookshop. Which is how I got to know him in the first place.

I'll have a think about it - there are some good suggestions. If he were single, this would be SO much easier...

 

[Arrowfoot]

Based on the context given, a box of expensive chocolates would less likely make the current dynamics worse. Even a pair of inexpensive cufflinks would be an issue if seen by his partner or his kids. And these things can spiral out of control.

 

[Slick]

Doing something together has its logistical issues as we're at opposite ends of the country. We've pencilled in the Goodwood Festival of Speed, and some stock car racing for next year, but his schedule isn't as flexible as mine.

You folks are picking up on the exact thing that's bugging me i.e. sending the wrong message, and I really appreciate that. I really don't want things to go *KABOOM*

I do like the idea of the shaving set, but he prefers to keep what hair he has left to him on his face. Not sure he'd react to being gifted a can of Mr Sheen...

Maybe painting one of his racing cars might be an idea...

A shared driving experience at one of the race tracks you both visit?

 

[Lozz360]

As others have said, I would steer clear of jewellery, given his domestic situation. If I am stuck as to what to give as a gift, I generally think, for a woman get something scented and for a man some type of gadget. The gadget could be a Swiss Army knife which you could have engraved with your own personal message.

 

[Electric_Andy]

LEGO 42107 Technic Ducati Panigale V4 R Motorbike, Collectible Superbike Display Model

View: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0813S3V4G/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_fabc_5YKFRNCJKPW0Z9FVSKZY