ColinJ
Puzzle game procrastinator!
- Location
- Todmorden - Yorks/Lancs border
Forget it - I am now getting a malware warning when I try to access that site so I have removed the link!
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Give me some dialogue from your day
- Thread starter Crackle
- Start date
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Forget it - I am now getting a malware warning when I try to access that site so I have removed the link!
Ganymede
Veteran
- Location
- Rural Kent
Me: You should listen to your grandpa, he's a very wise man.
Grandson 1: (explaining as to a small child) Well you can't really be wise unless you have a long grey beard like a wizard.
Grandson 2: Mum knows a lot.
Grandson 1: Yes she does.
Grandson 2: Mum knows a lot, but Grandma knows EVERYTHING!!!
Me (aka Grandma): so true
Mr G (aka Grandpa, sotto voce): he's after something...
Grandson 2 (piteously): I need some ice cream.
EDIT: just realised this should be in "Give me some dialogue from your day"... soz...
MOD:
Grandson 1: (explaining as to a small child) Well you can't really be wise unless you have a long grey beard like a wizard.
Grandson 2: Mum knows a lot.
Grandson 1: Yes she does.
Grandson 2: Mum knows a lot, but Grandma knows EVERYTHING!!!
Me (aka Grandma): so true
Mr G (aka Grandpa, sotto voce): he's after something...
Grandson 2 (piteously): I need some ice cream.
EDIT: just realised this should be in "Give me some dialogue from your day"... soz...
MOD:
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Me: "Oh ffs the packets open and some of the screws are missing"
Mrs C: "How many have you got?"
Me: "ermm...let's see.......8. And they've only sent eight rawl plugs too, so some of them must have fallen out"
Mrs C: "How many do you need?"
me:"16"
Mrs C: "How many bars are there?"
Me:"4"
Mrs C: sounding puzzled "huh. 4 bars, 2 holes per bar is...........?"
Me: ....................................................."I'm having a moment. The packet being ripped made me assume some were missing!"
Mrs C: "Just wait 'till I tell the boys about their fathers maths"
Me: "It was a moment, I can do maths, I did a fecking engineering degree......."
Mrs C: "How many have you got?"
Me: "ermm...let's see.......8. And they've only sent eight rawl plugs too, so some of them must have fallen out"
Mrs C: "How many do you need?"
me:"16"
Mrs C: "How many bars are there?"
Me:"4"
Mrs C: sounding puzzled "huh. 4 bars, 2 holes per bar is...........?"
Me: ....................................................."I'm having a moment. The packet being ripped made me assume some were missing!"
Mrs C: "Just wait 'till I tell the boys about their fathers maths"
Me: "It was a moment, I can do maths, I did a fecking engineering degree......."
Ganymede
Veteran
- Location
- Rural Kent
On repeat, with variations:
Grandma, how big is a baby buffalo?
Grandma, could an otter live in a lake?
Grandma, what are these for?
Grandma, where are my boots?
Grandma, where is Grandpa? (yeah, where the H is Grandpa???)
Grandma, why are there no volcanoes in England?
Grandma, if I put this on here then it all runs down the sides, look Grandma!
Grandma, can I have some Cheerios?
Grandma, can you hold this up so I can give it a karate chop?
Me (eventually): Oh look here's Grandpa, you can all go outside now!
This is hard work for someone who's never had her own kids....!
Grandma, how big is a baby buffalo?
Grandma, could an otter live in a lake?
Grandma, what are these for?
Grandma, where are my boots?
Grandma, where is Grandpa? (yeah, where the H is Grandpa???)
Grandma, why are there no volcanoes in England?
Grandma, if I put this on here then it all runs down the sides, look Grandma!
Grandma, can I have some Cheerios?
Grandma, can you hold this up so I can give it a karate chop?
Me (eventually): Oh look here's Grandpa, you can all go outside now!
This is hard work for someone who's never had her own kids....!
Lullabelle
Banana
- Location
- Midlands UK
Last night we went to see a comedian, un-allocated seating. We sat 2 rows back and a retired couple sat next to us, the guy in front of TVC was tall so we decided to move, the retired couple also moved over
Lady to me: sorry is my perfume too strong
Me: no that guy is tall, we cannot see
Lady: fair enough, I have a long torso I should be ok
Lady to husband: I can't see can we move.
Me to TVC: we did say he was tall
Lady to me: sorry is my perfume too strong
Me: no that guy is tall, we cannot see
Lady: fair enough, I have a long torso I should be ok
Lady to husband: I can't see can we move.
Me to TVC: we did say he was tall
swee'pea99
Legendary Member
Mini munchkin: Why are you making a fresh macaroni & cauliflower cheese when we already have one in the freezer?
Me: That's a very fair question, and to be honest it did occur to me. But when I was at the clocktower looking for veg for the weekend, they had these ginormous cauliflowers for a pound, and I thought blimey, that's a lot of food for a quid. But can we use it all? But then I thought, yes. I can use some in the stir fry I have planned for this evening, then it'll do for one of the veges with our roast chicken on Sunday, then I'll use the rest for a macaroni & cauliflower cheese on Monday. Sorted.
[pause]
Mini munchkin: Someone should make a movie of your life.
Me: The world's not ready for that much excitement.
Me: That's a very fair question, and to be honest it did occur to me. But when I was at the clocktower looking for veg for the weekend, they had these ginormous cauliflowers for a pound, and I thought blimey, that's a lot of food for a quid. But can we use it all? But then I thought, yes. I can use some in the stir fry I have planned for this evening, then it'll do for one of the veges with our roast chicken on Sunday, then I'll use the rest for a macaroni & cauliflower cheese on Monday. Sorted.
[pause]
Mini munchkin: Someone should make a movie of your life.
Me: The world's not ready for that much excitement.
gbb
Legendary Member
- Location
- Peterborough
I wandered up to the main office to get a fresh purchase order book. Our paths don't pass that much (engineers and office girls) but I always try to have a natter.
'Good God, it's hot up here' I uttered as the heat up there began to sink in
Office lady 1 instantly uttered....
'It is....thankyou for noticing
'
Office lady 2 looked up and said...
'oooh, that was a bit naughty
'
Office girl 3 sniggered...
Office lady 1 said...
'Yeah, I had a glass of wine at lunch'
as she reclined back in her chair, looking just a tad smug
I was a bit surprised tbh, it took me a couple seconds to twig....
'Jesus i'm slow today'
Later, i'm chatting with my colleague about the Rosetta space thing...
Me..
'Ive got a big problem understanding the scale of space, infinity and all that...I mean, its difficult for the human mind to comprehend WHAT infinity is....your brain can't take it in, everything in life has a border, an end..., I used to imagine all of space in a box...your brain (well mine anyway) can comprehend that.....but then I instantly thought....yeah, but whats on the other side of the box, and then, you've fooked it, you're back to square one
Colleague...
'You know what you need to do don't you'
'Whatsat ?'
Colleague...
'Think outside the box'
Doh
Later, i'm talking with the wife about Christmas, apparently her dad doesn't want to buy pressies for the grown ups. The wife is not impressed, she said...
'Gawld, he doesn't want to see what ive already spent on our grandkids'
Me...
Wife...
'Good God, it's hot up here' I uttered as the heat up there began to sink in
Office lady 1 instantly uttered....
'It is....thankyou for noticing
'Office lady 2 looked up and said...
'oooh, that was a bit naughty
'Office girl 3 sniggered...
Office lady 1 said...
'Yeah, I had a glass of wine at lunch'
as she reclined back in her chair, looking just a tad smug I was a bit surprised tbh, it took me a couple seconds to twig....
'Jesus i'm slow today'
Later, i'm chatting with my colleague about the Rosetta space thing...
Me..
'Ive got a big problem understanding the scale of space, infinity and all that...I mean, its difficult for the human mind to comprehend WHAT infinity is....your brain can't take it in, everything in life has a border, an end..., I used to imagine all of space in a box...your brain (well mine anyway) can comprehend that.....but then I instantly thought....yeah, but whats on the other side of the box, and then, you've fooked it, you're back to square one
Colleague...
'You know what you need to do don't you'
'Whatsat ?'
Colleague...
'Think outside the box
'Doh
Later, i'm talking with the wife about Christmas, apparently her dad doesn't want to buy pressies for the grown ups. The wife is not impressed, she said...
'Gawld, he doesn't want to see what ive already spent on our grandkids
'Me...
Wife...
I'm chatting to a man who has just started cycling to our office (I mean, he's obviously an experienced cyclist, he's just new to our office).
Me: that's a nice bell (it is BIG!!)
Him: I have two bells
Me: Two bells?
Him: Yes, this bell (pointing to the small one) is for people who are not wearing ipods and this bell (the big one) is for people who are wearing ipods...
Me: that's a nice bell (it is BIG!!)
Him: I have two bells
Me: Two bells?
Him: Yes, this bell (pointing to the small one) is for people who are not wearing ipods and this bell (the big one) is for people who are wearing ipods...
ColinJ
Puzzle game procrastinator!
- Location
- Todmorden - Yorks/Lancs border
I could have done with A BIG BELL on my bike today to wake up the young iPod-using woman who walked her labrador out in front of me without turning to see if anything was coming their way!
(The dog had me spotted, and was pulling back on the lead but she just dragged it off the pavement!)PS I had to make do with a BIG BOOMING MALE VOICE shouting "Oi!!!!!", which made her leap about a foot into the air!
Maverick Goose
A jumped up pantry boy, who never knew his place
- Location
- A champagne supernova in the sky
May I humbly offer the girl I used to work with who once asked if two half pints made a pint?....They don't get any brighter, do they? Goodness ...
welsh dragon
Thanks but no thanks. I think I'll pass.
May I humbly offer the girl I used to work with who once asked if two half pints made a pint?....
Well? Does it?
Maverick Goose
A jumped up pantry boy, who never knew his place
- Location
- A champagne supernova in the sky
ISTR I said something like " Yes Rachel''...Well? Does it?
gbb
Legendary Member
- Location
- Peterborough
Line leader walks into our workshop, a bolt in his hand. He's Polish and occasionally the technical terms beat him...
'I don't know how to say it, but i need a nut with wings on'
My colleague instantly answered...
'You need a wing nut then'
Raucous laughter followed from all three of us...
'I don't know how to say it, but i need a nut with wings on'
My colleague instantly answered...
'You need a wing nut then'
Raucous laughter followed from all three of us...
- Location
- Next door to Mr Benn at No 54
A. N. Other: It is like a metaphorical jack-hammer.
Me: Is that like a pile-driver?
A. N. Other:
Me: Or is it like a pneumatic drill, but then you would get blue finger.
A. N. Other: I think jack-hammer is the up-to-date nomenclature.
Both of us:
Me: Is that like a pile-driver?
A. N. Other:
Me: Or is it like a pneumatic drill, but then you would get blue finger.
A. N. Other: I think jack-hammer is the up-to-date nomenclature.
Both of us:
