Give me some dialogue from your day

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You'll cause mayham if you try to cycle round Leeds Market.

Especially if he's not wearing any shorts...
 

snorri

Legendary Member
My 'phone rings tring tring ...tring tring
Me....... 842765
Him....... Mr Snorri ?
Me........ Might be, who are you?
Him....... Council waste collection department, regarding the fly tipping of a mattress and builders rubble that you reported, could you give me the location of the dumped materials please?.
Me....... Ah yes well do you know the back road from A to B? Coming from A after a couple of miles you come to a semi-ruined house on your left..........hey, but I included the location and OS Grid reference in my report, as well as recording the location on your little map on the Council fly tipping website.
Him....... Yes Mr Snorri but the Help Desk does not pass on that information to us, we only get information about the materials dumped and the 'phone number of the person reporting the fly-tipping.
Me......... (Lost for words)
Me............Sits down and gives a description of the locations:sad:
 

Sandra6

Veteran
Location
Cumbria
Older gentleman acquaintance speaking to Mrs. P: 'I like your topless dress...'

Brief pregnant pause...

Mrs. P: 'I think you mean sleeveless...'

Would a topless dress not be a skirt?!
 

Sandra6

Veteran
Location
Cumbria
I often have to ring a local parts company to place orders at work, I've spoken to most of the guys there but rarely get the same person twice in a day.
I need to order a wiper blade, as I'm waiting for the phone to be answered I try to pull up the car details on my computer and realise, just as the phone is answered that I can't see them
Me -"Oh hi, well I wanted to order a wiper blade but I've just realised I don't know the reg so I'm just going to hang up and go and find it and then I'll ring back.
parts guy - ok,
me - bye then
parts guy -chuckles

Two mins later I ring back
Me -hi, it's sandra at bsm, if I give you a reg can you find me a wiper please?
same parts guy -chuckles - Go on then, I'll give it a go.
Me -registration blah blah
parts guy -you know that's a Ford?
me - oh for goodness sake, what are they even doing to me here? It needs to be a Seat
parts guy -let me try F instead of X - nope, that's a motorbike.
me - RIght, I'm going to go and find out this blooming registration and ring back, again.
parts guy - I love how you explained what you were doing, anyone else would just have hung up
me - well to be fair, I didn't expect you to pick the phone up the second time
parts guy - I'm going to wait for you to ring back too.

Five minutes later after chasing the sales exec for the right registration I ring back
Parts guy -why hello
me - First time caller ..
anyway, after all that they didn't even have the wiper blade!!
 
I often have to ring a local parts company to place orders at work, I've spoken to most of the guys there but rarely get the same person twice in a day.
I need to order a wiper blade, as I'm waiting for the phone to be answered I try to pull up the car details on my computer and realise, just as the phone is answered that I can't see them
Me -"Oh hi, well I wanted to order a wiper blade but I've just realised I don't know the reg so I'm just going to hang up and go and find it and then I'll ring back.
parts guy - ok,
me - bye then
parts guy -chuckles

Two mins later I ring back
Me -hi, it's sandra at bsm, if I give you a reg can you find me a wiper please?
same parts guy -chuckles - Go on then, I'll give it a go.
Me -registration blah blah
parts guy -you know that's a Ford?
me - oh for goodness sake, what are they even doing to me here? It needs to be a Seat
parts guy -let me try F instead of X - nope, that's a motorbike.
me - RIght, I'm going to go and find out this blooming registration and ring back, again.
parts guy - I love how you explained what you were doing, anyone else would just have hung up
me - well to be fair, I didn't expect you to pick the phone up the second time
parts guy - I'm going to wait for you to ring back too.

Five minutes later after chasing the sales exec for the right registration I ring back
Parts guy -why hello
me - First time caller ..
anyway, after all that they didn't even have the wiper blade!!

That's the sort of relaxed human interaction I miss here.
 

NorthernDave

Never used Über Member
On the train this morning, Billy Bullshoot was sat a couple of rows in front and was holding court, impressing his female travelling companion with his repartee.
Harmless enough and only mildly annoying.

Until he said, without a trace of irony or self awareness:

"Somebody needs to wake up and take a bite of the reality sandwich"

:eek:
 

Maverick Goose

A jumped up pantry boy, who never knew his place
On the train this morning, Billy Bullshoot was sat a couple of rows in front and was holding court, impressing his female travelling companion with his repartee.
Harmless enough and only mildly annoying.

Until he said, without a trace of irony or self awareness:

"Somebody needs to wake up and take a bite of the reality sandwich"

:eek:
Hahaha...I work with one or two people who could do with doing that!:laugh:
 

Vantage

Carbon fibre... LMAO!!!
Erin came downstairs half an hour ago.

"Where's Marcus?"
Me. "Huh?"
"Well he's not in his bed and he's not on the couch."
me. "Marcus?"
"Yeah."
me. "Well I assume he's at home in bed sleeping."
"No because he was sleeping over here."
Me. "Erm, no he wasn't."
"Yeah he was. You can even check the counter."
Me. "The counter?"
"Yeah, what you count with."
Me. "Erin, are you sleep walking?"
"No. He was here sleeping."
Me. "No Erin, he really wasn't."
"Daaaaaaad! He was!"
Me. "Ok. Back to bed you go princess."

Frowny look and she tottled off back to bed.

I've never seen it till now but her mum told me about her sleepwalking in the past.
Wow! :eek:
 
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