Give me some dialogue from your day

[gbb]

Visiting the 'girlies' our granddaughters. Hollie (13) has some new schoolbooks on her lap and I asked about them.
She started to explain the new GCSE grades,
'Grade 7 is like the old A, 8 is like A* etc etc'
As I'm looking, her book is grade 9
'So what's 9 then ?'
'Right at the top'
'So I assume the teachers think you're up for it, do you feel confident ?'
'NOOOOO , I don't know, it's hard alright'
'But the teachers obviously see potential in you'
'I know but only something like 6 %of kids achieve these levels...and nearly all of my subjects are at level 7 and above'

I don't know what we or her parents did, but she's beautiful, clever and has the most fabulous attitude...i cant imagine how she's managed to be all three things given the rest of us. Her mum went on to say she'd been reccommend for grammar school by her primary school but the distances made it very difficult.

 

[Pro Tour Punditry]

Me, phoning debt recovery agency (in capacity as having power of attorney for mum, who is in a care home) re a debt ascribed to my father (deceased).

Me: I'm phoning re the letter you sent...etc. etc...like to make arrangements to pay...
Them: We can't discuss it with you until you send us the power of attorney and your father's death certificate
Me: And I can't just pay it?
Them: No, blah, blah, blah...
Me: And if I don't send the paperwork?
Them: We'll send more letters
Me: OK, 'bye

 

[gbb]

Me to my sister on the phone....
'Are you ok ?'
'Yeah, why ?'
'Mums just told me you have meningitis'
'Good grief no, I've got laryngitis '
'Thanks Christ for that, mum rang you this morning, talked to Jim and she thought he said meningitis'
She is 88 with poor hearing.

 

[gbb]

Not so much dialogue but unspoken communication...
I'm cycling a single carriageway, I'm aware a tipper truck is travelling patiently behind me for maybe 100 yards or so, there's a reasonable amount of oncoming traffic. I see a useable entrance on the left so Indicate im going in there then wave him through, I pop in, he passes with a honk honk and hes away....
Reduced stress, reduced danger for all concerned, why wouldn't you ?

 

[Threevok]

My Dad yesterday...

"The doctor made an appointment for me to get a hearing aid - three weeks ago. I still haven't heard anything"

 

[gbb]

My Dad yesterday...

"The doctor made an appointment for me to get a hearing aid - three weeks ago. I still haven't heard anything"

 

[gbb]

My wife and me have a combative but comical way of talking to each other sometimes. Today she'd done an egg in the microwave and it exploded as she lifted it out. No harm done except egg all over her face and the floor. Once I'd made sure she was ok....i couldn't help but laugh at the sight...sorry but .

So later she's popping out to her friends. I said...gizza kiss and as I did so, I licked my lips and said...im sure I can taste egg
She replied...
You'll be eating something else in a minute
What's that then ?
A knuckle sandwich....she replied

 

[colly]

Driving home from my son's house this morning with our 4 year old grandson who is staying with us over the weekend.
We were talking about going to the York Maze tomorrow.
Mrs Colly's sister who is staying with is for a couple of weeks was in the car with us.
Joshua
' Are you coming with us Aunty Margaret?"

Margaret:
" l would need someone to push me round."

Not missing a beat
Joshua:
'You've got legs. You can walk.'

Talk about hearing him mums voice in him.

 

[booze and cake]

Me: OK who did this?

Belle: It wasn't me

Me: ahhhh those eyes, OK it wasn't you....Lenny was it you?
Lenny: What?

Lenny: Oh that, sorry.

 

[kapelmuur]

At the barber's today, I had a No. 3 cut.

The barber asked the next customer what he wanted and he pointed at me and asked "what did he have", the barber told him, "a No3".

"What's the next up from that?" asked the lad.

 

[ColinJ]

At the barber's today, I had a No. 3 cut.

The barber asked the next customer what he wanted and he pointed at me and asked "what did he have", the barber told him, "a No3".

"What's the next up from that?" asked the lad.

Well, don't keep us all in suspense ... what IS the next up from that!

 

[NorthernDave]

H&S Rep - Dave, have you got a minute? It's Bernie.
Me - Why what's up?
H&S Rep - No, quick down here, it's Bernie
Me - What's up with Bernie? (Bernie is someone who works in another department, on another floor, so I'm getting quite perplexed by this point)
H&S Rep (opening door into vestibule) - Look, it smells Bernie in here.
Me - Eh? It smells like Bernie?
H&S Rep - Yes, it smells like somethings burning.
Me - Oh, burning? (sniffs) - Yes it's the convector heater on the wall. They haven't been on for months and it's just the dust on the element.

The H&S rep is in their mid 50s, yet thinks it's appropriate to say something is "burny"

 

[gbb]

Our DIL rang....
'Imogen (Our 2 YO grandaughter) has got something to tell you '
We put the phone on loudspeaker....
'What's up IMO ?, what you got to tell us ?'
'My did poo on my potty '
'Yayyyyyy ' from us both in reply.

Mum came back on the phone...
'Actually, she got half of it on the floor '

 

[skudupnorth]

This is what my day normally consists of !

 

[skudupnorth]

Also had the sad task of reporting a dead Long Eared Owl found on site