Help Me Understand Generation Z!

[Ganymede]

It occurs to me that we're in an era where the middle-class home has reached its zenith - warm, spacious, comfortable, full of food from all over the world, white goods, entertainment at the touch of a button, hot water... Obviously this is all going to come crashing down at some point, but there's nothing like the present.

 

[Ganymede]

[QUOTE 2894953, member: 1314"]I think that kids / teenagers (they can't all be lumped together as one ubiquitous whole anyway, even once they have been defined, but for the sake of a café discussion let's go with it) are the same as they have ever been in terms of their attitudes - not different at all, down the decades and centuries.[/quote]

You have a point - but has the way that their parents and other older people treat them changed? I would say it has to some extent.

 

[Paul99]

1) The question should be is he willing to put himself on the streets, he has the ability to change his future and destiny ( see number 2: )
2) If he is not paying towards the house hold and still wants to live with you then all the chores become his responsibility (washing, ironing, shopping, cleaning etc) he must contribute in one way or another - ( see number 3)
3) You do an honest days work to put a roof over your families head and food on the table, if anyone at all disrespects your efforts and just takes they should not be welcome in your home imho. - You have a right to demand something in return for all you give in your relationships no matter if they are friendships, family, work or otherwise.

To be quite frank send your boy to live with me so I can reset his expectations of what will be provided for him in his life.

If I come and live with you and do all your chores will I be allowed to ride your bikes?

 

[byegad]

The subject of the OP is sponging off his parents and maybe it's time for some 'tough love' and being made to pay towards his keep, out of his benefits if need be, is the minimum I'd be demanding from him if he were mine. I had to do something similar with one of my lads and he has never looked back since.

 

[Old Plodder]

In my young days, there were still shortages more than 8 years after the war, there were no treats only very basic food, quite poor housing, & definately no heating, central or otherwise. We had to wash in cold water, share bath water, eldest first, & had to do shopping, even at 5 years old! Oh, & no TV, only a radio, which was controlled by dad, as was just about everything else!
If we wanted to go out, we had to walk everywhere. When I went to secondary school, I got my first bike, a second hand wreck, to ride the 6 miles to school & back. That was the best thing that ever happened to me, it gave me freedom!
Todays parents wrap their kids up in cotton wool, no wonder they don't want to do anything.

 

[Dave Davenport]

Sounds like he needs a point blank kick up the arse scare. Wait till he's out, change the locks, let him negociate a way back in.

Being a bit flaky is one thing. Refusing to contribute when asked is selfish and ungrateful, and he needs a metaphorical slap.

Do you have any experience of being in a similar situation with any of your kids?

 

[jhawk]

Going back to transportation, I do think that has an impact on today's "yoof". I had a moped (45mph) at 16, a 250cc motorbike at 17 and car at 19, this was on a mcjob wage too and it wasn't difficult. If gives you freedom, independence, widens horizons, you enter the adult world. I don't know any of my elder son's friends that drive or own any transportation, cycling of course requires effort so is a no-no. The government has put so many obstacles in their way that what was entirely normal for me, remains a dream for them, no wonder they stay kids longer.

While I agree that those in power have made it more difficult for my generation and the next, I think that he'll realise sooner or later that he cannot keep doing this with his life - surely he doesn't want to be the one that goes nowhere? (I mean no offence by this).

Secondly, transportation... Right now, I don't have a car, I don't have a drivers' license - primarily that's because I don't have the necessary paperwork due to Immigration being so slow in getting me what I need in order to begin that process; along with a number of others.

But, I do have a bicycle... And I ride... Everywhere. Admittedly, Canadian winters are harsh and therefore getting around on the bike is few and far between... And, thus unfortunately, I rely on others for transportation to places - hate asking for it though I do. Get him on a bike. Not only will it enable to get from place-to-place, but it will allow him to get fitter, and generally see more of the World around him.

 

[slowwww]

When I joined my company 32 years ago, the managers had a life of riley, coming in at 9.30, going home at 4.30, golf twice a week or so (membership fees and bar tabs paid for by the company, naturally) much of the rest of the week was lunches, networking, etc. All the work was done by young, aspirational clerks, who saw from their managers what was available if they grafted, and graft we did. 07.00 to 19.00 was 'standard' and more if we were busy. Weekend work a not-infrequent feature. Accordingly the model worked, as we all worked like fury to get every incremental promotion, and the company benefitted from this competition

This all changed about 10 years or so ago. Somewhere along the line this 'instant gratification' generation seemed to decide that if you don't get everything immediately, it's not worth working to get it at some point in the future, even if that’s only a couple of years away. It's now we the managers are in from 7 til 7am and more work at home in the evening, snatched sandwich at your desk if you're lucky, whereas our assistants come in at 08.59, full hour (or more if we don’t keep an eye on it) for lunch and at 16.55, the computers are off and their coats are on.

And it's not just this company (or industry). Most of our customers report leveraging more from their younger staff with the carrot of future advancement is neigh on impossible.

God I feel cheated!

 

[Sara_H]

1) The question should be is he willing to put himself on the streets, he has the ability to change his future and destiny ( see number 2: )
2) If he is not paying towards the house hold and still wants to live with you then all the chores become his responsibility (washing, ironing, shopping, cleaning etc) he must contribute in one way or another - ( see number 3)
3) You do an honest days work to put a roof over your families head and food on the table, if anyone at all disrespects your efforts and just takes they should not be welcome in your home imho. - You have a right to demand something in return for all you give in your relationships no matter if they are friendships, family, work or otherwise.

To be quite frank send your boy to live with me so I can reset his expectations of what will be provided for him in his life.

Can my 17 and 19 year old stepsons come to stay at yours for a couple of weeks please?

 

[byegad]

When I joined my company 32 years ago, the managers had a life of riley, coming in at 9.30, going home at 4.30, golf twice a week or so (membership fees and bar tabs paid for by the company, naturally) much of the rest of the week was lunches, networking, etc. All the work was done by young, aspirational clerks, who saw from their managers what was available if they grafted, and graft we did. 07.00 to 19.00 was 'standard' and more if we were busy. Weekend work a not-infrequent feature. Accordingly the model worked, as we all worked like fury to get every incremental promotion, and the company benefitted from this competition

This all changed about 10 years or so ago. Somewhere along the line this 'instant gratification' generation seemed to decide that if you don't get everything immediately, it's not worth working to get it at some point in the future, even if that’s only a couple of years away. It's now we the managers are in from 7 til 7am and more work at home in the evening, snatched sandwich at your desk if you're lucky, whereas our assistants come in at 08.59, full hour (or more if we don’t keep an eye on it) for lunch and at 16.55, the computers are off and their coats are on.

And it's not just this company (or industry). Most of our customers report leveraging more from their younger staff with the carrot of future advancement is neigh on impossible.

God I feel cheated!

I think you are right but have missed out on one item. At that time working hard for the same firm and working your way up the firm's structure was THE way things were done.

Now firms reward incomers with the job and are willing and able to make anyone redundant at the drop of a hat. Firms don't see their staff as an asset to mine, more as a cost to savagely reduce whenever the opportunity arises.

A friend got a job with a well known firm, and over several years worked his way up to the top of the pay grade he was on by fulfilling every target set to him, promotion seemed the next step. He enjoyed working for the firm and was proud to be part of it. Then the firm changed everyone's (Yes everyone!) shifts and anyone at the top of a grade was offered the worst, for them, new shift 'if they wished to stay with the firm'. Many left, including my friend who, on the day he was leaving was introduced to, and invited to help train, his replacement who would be getting his old shift at 2/3rds the rate he had been getting. He impolitely declined to help this new guy and the firm.

With no loyalty to staff comes no staff loyalty.

 

[swee'pea99]

Re the OP: shouldn't that be Generation ZZzzzzzz...?

 

[Mr Haematocrit]

Can my 17 and 19 year old stepsons come to stay at yours for a couple of weeks please?

If they need their expectations reset they are most welcome to

I always told my girl to judge a boy by how he treats his mother, as that is eventually how he will treat you. Perhaps mothers need to start telling their sons that the girls know this

 

[fossyant]

I see a bit of this with my nieces and nephew. Three of the four have jobs. Two did college and Uni and have good jobs.

The other two, the older girl is a nail technician, and went to college for that. She works 50 to 60 hours a week on basic wages, but has a car. She doesn't contribute to the household and now has her unemployed boyfriend living there. Her brother basically couldn't be bothered at school, despite being intelligent, and flunked his GCSEs and A levels. He went on to do a foundation degree at £9k and managed to pass it, but has not done anything else. He does a few hours a week in a kitchen. How my SIL manages to feed four adults (her own two children and a boyfriend) when she only works part time ? They don't even lift much of a finger at home, given the state of the place. She just lets them get on with doing nothing for an easy life. She has allowed the boyfriend to live there as she doesn't want them struggling with a flat of their own. Said boyfriend already has three children with two different women at the age of 21. Oh and niece and boyfriend still manage to afford stupid cars (big exhaust types).

I'd as a minimum expect fair share of household jobs and a token amount of board.

 

[Sara_H]

If they need their expectations reset they are most welcome to

I always told my girl to judge a boy by how he treats his mother, as that is eventually how he will treat you. Perhaps mothers need to start telling their sons that the girls know this

I'm not sure thats true. My ex husband is and always has been, quite devoted to his Mum, but was frequently vile towards me!

 

[Smurfy]

I think you are right but have missed out on one item. At that time working hard for the same firm and working your way up the firm's structure was THE way things were done.

Now firms reward incomers with the job and are willing and able to make anyone redundant at the drop of a hat. Firms don't see their staff as an asset to mine, more as a cost to savagely reduce whenever the opportunity arises.

A friend got a job with a well known firm, and over several years worked his way up to the top of the pay grade he was on by fulfilling every target set to him, promotion seemed the next step. He enjoyed working for the firm and was proud to be part of it. Then the firm changed everyone's (Yes everyone!) shifts and anyone at the top of a grade was offered the worst, for them, new shift 'if they wished to stay with the firm'. Many left, including my friend who, on the day he was leaving was introduced to, and invited to help train, his replacement who would be getting his old shift at 2/3rds the rate he had been getting. He impolitely declined to help this new guy and the firm.

With no loyalty to staff comes no staff loyalty.

To add to what you've said, in a lot of places the management structure has been hugely flattened, making it harder to inch your way to the top one tiny step at a time. It's a sorry situation, and in many respects I don't blame young people for feeling demotivated by what's on offer.