Hit by a dead fish...

[Kirstie]

Please tell me I did not use the same joke as that little sprat Oddie...

No the 'ling' featured on it. And it was mostly kate humble, anyway.

 

[tdr1nka]

If you could take them to court, claim compensation you'd be squids in!

 

[Dayvo]

It'll cost ya a few squid to get your bike fixed, but you could always buy one from the prawn brokers!

 

[Kirstie]

But if they hired a good lawyer he could end up with feck-coley

 

[Noodley]

Just think, if I had fallen off and it had been badly damaged - I could have bought a Carp Diem to replace it...

 

[Dayvo]

Was the passing van a whiting one?
They'll be singing a different tuna when they're in court at the herring!

 

[longers]

Don't forget to make a note of the time and plaice where the incident occurred.

 

[Noodley]

If it does go to court, I hope the Procurator Fishcal presents a good case

 

[Noodley]

I have a good mind to Skate round to his Huss and kick his Wrasse...

 

[longers]

That's the spirit - make him roe the day he was spawned.

It might be a good idea to wear gloves - you don't want to leave your dabs all over the plaice.

 

[tdr1nka]

Noodley is not a Manta be meddled with, can't stand Monk-ey business.
BTW, Are you the sole witness?

 

[yenrod]

On my way home tonight I was hit in the back by a dead fish thrown from a passing van (yes, it is sore...)

I have phoned the Police and they have promised to cast their net wide. The cop I spoke to on the phone (who I know) asked me on what scale I would plaice my injury, and I replied "it'll 'eel". He then cautioned that I should not seek revenge and rise to the bait. "But they did it on porpoise" I objected....

I need more fish gags for my statement...

Their is plenty more fish in the sea but not usually on land

 

[Kirstie]

Noodley is not a Manta be meddled with

Indeed - from what I heard he's a hard bass-tard

 

[Fnaar]

Fin

 

[Noodley]

Fin

No, not fin.

It appears a similar incident happened a short while after on a nearby road, involving the same van (no fish this time, but another cyclist was smacked around the head).
So now we have some corroboration

...and guess what? I got the van registration

...and guess what else? The Police will shortly be visiting the registered keeper and detaining the driver.

Power to detain for upto six hours...

(I hope they give him a kickin' )