Husband not interested in touring...what have you done in this situation?

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HJ

Cycling in Scotland
Location
Auld Reekie
:biggrin: he doesn't like the idea of a tandem either!


Do you all think it is safe for a woman to go touring/camping on her own? I used to do it back in the 80's/early 90's but things seemed safer then....or maybe I was just naive! Would you men feel okay with your wife/partner/daughter going on her own?

Just drop a few hints that if he doesn't want to come along, then you will have to find a younger male companion :evil:
 

hubbike

Senior Member
i'm suprised nobody has suggested divorce yet!!

more seriously, it seems to me he doesn't want to be inconvenienced by your cycling. so the obvious solution is to inconvenience yourself for his benefit. (should I go into providing marriage councelling
biggrin.gif
)

-you get up with the sun (5 or 6 am) and cycle on till mid-day. by the time he has had a lie-in, read the paper over a lazy breakfast, showered, and driven a few miles to meet you, you'll be waiting for him.

-pick places where you are both interested to visit, or where there is an activities/sights that interest him, and while he is occupied go on day rides.

-44minutes cycling together?!

-do some short weekend tours, maybe pick a friend to stay over with who lives about 50-70 miles away. constantly enthuse about how great it was and perhaps next time he will change his mind and join you?

-tell him to stop being a lazybones!!!
 

Garz

Squat Member
Location
Down
As mentioned earlier by big C, you will find a few members here that would be more than helpful in going on a few trips that you can make your own mind up with. Then you can get a better perspective and some experience to travel alone. CC members may also meet up with you on way-points to make sure you are safe or have company!
biggrin.gif
 

ianrauk

Tattooed Beat Messiah
Location
Rides Ti2
How can 'Has no interest in cycling' be considered lazy?

i'm suprised nobody has suggested divorce yet!!

more seriously, it seems to me he doesn't want to be inconvenienced by your cycling. so the obvious solution is to inconvenience yourself for his benefit. (should I go into providing marriage councelling
biggrin.gif
)

-you get up with the sun (5 or 6 am) and cycle on till mid-day. by the time he has had a lie-in, read the paper over a lazy breakfast, showered, and driven a few miles to meet you, you'll be waiting for him.

-pick places where you are both interested to visit, or where there is an activities/sights that interest him, and while he is occupied go on day rides.

-44minutes cycling together?!

-do some short weekend tours, maybe pick a friend to stay over with who lives about 50-70 miles away. constantly enthuse about how great it was and perhaps next time he will change his mind and join you?

-tell him to stop being a lazybones!!!
 
OP
OP
thistler

thistler

Veteran
Location
Happy Valley
:biggrin: He's not so much lazy as infirm - he's got some health problems that make cycling very painful for more than 45 mins, actually any physical activity is hard on him, plus he has trouble keeping weight on....

thinking about it, I was kind of selfish thinking he might want to join me.  :blush:

Thanks for the ideas everyone, it's good to know that even though he won't come with me it's not out of the question for me to enjoy some touring.
 

MockCyclist

Well-Known Member
It's not out of the question to enjoy some touring with a male companion.

Of course, you would be even more wary but if you can put the perceived Alternative Agenda to one side it can work. My non-cycling wife was content for me to tour with an internet-sourced single female of my own age who she never met. She knows I don't enjoy group company and I'm not particularly into the Male Buddy thing, I am far more comfortable with female company. I can't be the only one.
 

Spinney

Bimbleur extraordinaire
Location
Back up north
I'm female - I haven't toured on my own, but I would do so if that was the only way of doing it.

I tend to be a softie and go for B&Bs, but it hadn't occurred to me that camping on my own could be a problem.

As others have said, though, I'm sure you'll find someone on here to accompany you! Good luck.
 

doog

....
I think you should go alone its quite safe. At least he supports your hobby! My wife thinks im some sort of nutcase who is trying to dissolve himself of all family responsibility by bogging off alone on my bike with a tent. What it actually does is clear the mind and make you appreciate what you are missing
biggrin.gif
..at least thats what I tell her
whistling.gif
 

Brains

Legendary Member
Location
Greenwich
Do you all think it is safe for a woman to go touring/camping on her own? I used to do it back in the 80's/early 90's but things seemed safer then....or maybe I was just naive! Would you men feel okay with your wife/partner/daughter going on her own?

YES!!!!!

Get thee to the Libary.

Any book by Ann Mustoe or Josie Drew
 
OP
OP
thistler

thistler

Veteran
Location
Happy Valley
Thanks everyone - I think in an ideal world I would go from B&B to B&B but our finances are too limited for that and I do quite like camping. If it is safe then I am fine going by myself... I can always try it and if I feel uncomfortable, recruit buddies for the next trip. I don't care if they are male or female, I guess from my racing days years ago I tend to assume guys are faster and I would only hold them back - I went on a few 3-5 day team rides and was always the weak link in the chain...  :whistle:

I have done a bit more research on the Trek - it seems it is known as a 'comfort town' bike and puts your legs out too far in front of you to do any serious miles comfortably on it. 

I would like to do one or two short trips before the end of the year just to get a feel for it, then go on longer/more frequent ones next spring/summer. I think I will save up for an older used Dawes Galaxy and lightweight camping stuff, but use the Specialized for the short trips this year, staying in hostels or at relatives houses if it's only for a 2-3 day trips. The Specialized does have the rack mounts so I if could buy racks that could be switched over to the Galaxy then it wouldn't be wasted money...

Does that sound sensible?  :tongue:
 

Ben M

Senior Member
Location
Chester/Oxford
Thanks everyone - I think in an ideal world I would go from B&B to B&B but our finances are too limited for that and I do quite like camping. If it is safe then I am fine going by myself... I can always try it and if I feel uncomfortable, recruit buddies for the next trip. I don't care if they are male or female, I guess from my racing days years ago I tend to assume guys are faster and I would only hold them back - I went on a few 3-5 day team rides and was always the weak link in the chain... :whistle:

I have done a bit more research on the Trek - it seems it is known as a 'comfort town' bike and puts your legs out too far in front of you to do any serious miles comfortably on it.

I would like to do one or two short trips before the end of the year just to get a feel for it, then go on longer/more frequent ones next spring/summer. I think I will save up for an older used Dawes Galaxy and lightweight camping stuff, but use the Specialized for the short trips this year, staying in hostels or at relatives houses if it's only for a 2-3 day trips. The Specialized does have the rack mounts so I if could buy racks that could be switched over to the Galaxy then it wouldn't be wasted money...

Does that sound sensible? :tongue:

There's reason why you can't do long tours on your Spesh, I've done a long tour on a similar road bike.

As for your rack idea, yes it's a good idea, but Dawes Galaxies come with racks ;)
 

HJ

Cycling in Scotland
Location
Auld Reekie
I have done a bit more research on the Trek - it seems it is known as a 'comfort town' bike and puts your legs out too far in front of you to do any serious miles comfortably on it. 

Which Trek is this? Mrs HJ has a Trek 7300FX and will happily ride 50-60 miles a day with loaded panniers, don't believe all the marketing rubbish that is out there.
 

Arch

Married to Night Train
Location
Salford, UK
Hello Thistler!

I'm a female and I've toured alone - albeit using YHA and B & Bs rather than camping. I'm hoping someday to go off and do Europe with a tent, and unless I meet anyone in the meantime, that'll be alone. It helps of course if you can put up with your own company all day, although there are always chances to chat, in cafes, shops etc.

I think if you're sensible, you're safe - it's just like you wouldn't go to some areas alone, or some pubs. I would imagine that family type campsites would be fine.

Your plan is good - with short trips, you'll not be too far from home if you don't like it. And you should be able to sort a route out using friends and hostels (you'll probably need to look at independent hostels, as well as YHA, since the YHA have become a bit widely spread in places. Having a night at a friend's house gives you a bit of luxury, and a chance to have a jolly good natter. And short trips give you the chance to hone your packing skills.

But do ask on here too - most of us are relatively normal... ;)
 
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