I am now eyeing my colleagues with suspicion...

[GrumpyGregry]

In our office fridge y'day was a pot of total greek yoghurt. My pot of total greek yoghurt to be precise. Between y'day morning and this lunchtime some bar steward has thieved it and eaten it. I was saving it for my lunch today to have with some muesli.

For feck's sake this a professional organisation not a chuffin' student's house!

I can take 'em using my ground coffee from time to time (I keep the good stuff in my pedestal) and I don't begrudge them helping themselves to my laa-dee-dah Twining's tea-bags but, for pity's sake, can't they leave my yoghurt alone?

 

[Fnaar]

Probably something to do with corporate culture*


*culture....yoghurt.... usually an Aussie joke, re-worked here for a more discerning audience.

 

[threebikesmcginty]

Will you ask the offender to step into your office?

 

[Beebo]

Go round the office and see if anyone was rubbed it on their face.

 

[Crackle]

Leave a note saying you're worried that someone has taken your yoghurt which you'd mixed your laxative medicine into, can they come see you asap, you have immodium. Give them four times the dose when they turn up. They won't crap for days.

 

[threebikesmcginty]

Tell everyone you've been dipping your John Thomas in it because you have an infection and it's soothing.

 

[Fnaar]

Tell everyone you've been dipping your John Thomas in it because you have an infection and it's soothing.

But only if it was a 'family' pot, not a 'fromage frais'

 

[threebikesmcginty]

But only if it was a 'family' pot, not a 'fromage frais'

I don't know GrumpyG that intimately but yeah I'm sure he's more family pot than petit filous.

 

[Specialeyes]

Reminded me of this classic

 

[PradaMTB]

haha this is the precise reason ive got a mini fridge under my desk! Plus it stores all the beers on christmas party day!

 

[IDMark2]

re-worked here for a more discerning audience.

Good grief, we'll all have to up our game, when are they coming?

 

[MontyVeda]

here's a conversation i had with my boss a decade ago:

me: What's happened to that ham/salad sarnie that was in the fridge?
him: Was it yours?
me: Yes.
him: I ate it... well... once I'd thrown all that salad cr@p out of it, I bit into it, realised it was that sh!tty olive bread, ate the ham and binned the rest.
me: So... you threw away most of my sandwich and only ate the ham, and you think that's acceptable?
him: It's my fridge.
me: C**kend!

Worst boss i ever had he was.

 

[TheDoctor]

Leave another pot in there, but fill it with something that isn't yoghurt.
Solid emulsion paint would look a lot like yoghurt...
Inspired by a colleague who was upset by someone stealing his milk.
Apparently watered-down emulsion looks like milk, but is unpleasant on cornflakes.

 

[PradaMTB]

I read a story once about someones brownies going missing repeatedly at work, so one day he laced the brownies with cannabis and left a note saying thanks for stealing my brownies I have left an anonymous tip off about drug use in the workplace and it just so happens the last batch of brownies are space cakes, hence all the random drug tests now taking place... Good luck brownie thief!

Whether it was a fabricated story or not, i still enjoyed the read

 

[IDMark2]

Whether it was a fabricated story or not, i still enjoyed the read

..and the brownies, man.