"I didn't buy a bike to oil it!"

[Smokin Joe]

Fact - oiling a bike is completely unnecessary and it will work fine without oil. Never did mine any harm

Chain's well slack.

 

[Drago]

Fact - oiling a bike is completely unnecessary and it will work fine without oil. Never did mine any harm

Old Bike Alert! Biggs will have a major trouser tent when he sees a councours machine like that.

 

[Firestorm]

Bloke at work proudly told m that his bike has just done 2500 miles and he has never put a drop of oil on it.
This being about half an hour after he said that he needs to replace his bike because its creaking....

 

[nickyboy]

Can you be sure he will only ever use his bike for his five-mile flat commute though? If he did as you suggested he might find the Dutch bike such hard work on any slightly hillier route that it would put him off cycling for good.

Well I suppose I can't be 100% sure. But he did tell me he'd bought the bike to commute to work so as to get a bit fitter and lose a bit of weight. Maybe he'll be on the Llandudno ride in years to come, who knows?

 

[Yellow Saddle]

A customer once accused me of rusting his headset bearing in the one single day the bike was with us for a service.
Another customer refused to learn how to shift gears and preferred to have his bike eat derailleurs and then come in and shout and scream about the rubbish derailers we keep on fitting to his bike.
Then there's the customer who accused me of using the wrong type of oil in his suspension fork the previous time it was serviced and that is why the fork now, 200 hours overdue for a service, has stanchion damage. The thick mud under the seal's lip had nothing to do with the damage, it was the type of oil.
Then there's the one who broke her bicycle computer but managed to glue it back on with sparrow spit or something and the minute I touched it, it broke off again. I was accused of breaking it in front of her eyes by the way I was touching it. That warranted, she said, a brand new model, preferably wireless, with cadence and wi-fi and all wheel drive and aircon, to compensate for her stress.
I usually ask if they'd like me to apply Vaseline before I shove their precious bike into a dark place. Except the guy with the rusty headset bearing. He was much bigger than me. I offered him a cup of tea I made from water I scooped out of a porcelain "well" in the gents...I wish. I always think of these things far too late.

 

[Racing roadkill]

I really enjoy maintaining my bikes. It keeps me current with changing tech, and I actually find that it's a good way to de stress. It saves me a lot of money as well.

 

[ianrauk]

I really enjoy maintaining my bikes. It keeps me current with changing tech, and I actually find that it's a good way to de stress. It saves me a lot of money as well.

Indeed, and as we know, a well maintained, clean bike is a much faster bike

 

[Racing roadkill]

Indeed, and as we know, a well maintained, clean bike is a much faster bike

And lighter, don't forget lighter

 

[the reluctant cyclist]

I'm so guilty of this that a complete stranger told me my chain needed oiling the other day. I've had the bike four years - ridden a minimum of 9 miles a day on it and oiled the chain maybe 3 times. In my defence I don't like the bike and its a cheap pile of rubbish! I intended to replace it after a year or so but the bloody thing keeps going.

If anybody is interested I've got the same problem with my fridge - ordered the wrong colour years ago and thought - oh well hope it won't last long. The fridge is still in my kitchen clashing with everything. I was pregnant with my daughter at the time - she's 28 in May!!

 

[Andy in Germany]

On an Xtracycle longtail bike this can be a problem because the back end of the chain is further away from me I don't always register that it sounds like a bag of kittens...

 

[jefmcg]

The fridge is still in my kitchen clashing with everything. I was pregnant with my daughter at the time - she's 28 in May!!

Think yourself lucky. If your daughter was 40, that fridge would be avocado green

 

[Dogtrousers]

To be honest, I've never bought a bike just for the sheer delight of being able to oil it.

 

[mjr]

Another customer refused to learn how to shift gears and preferred to have his bike eat derailleurs and then come in and shout and scream about the rubbish derailers we keep on fitting to his bike.

I would say that you should suggest he gets one of the latest long life derailleurs that's enclosed in the hub but it sounds like the concept of easing off while downshifting might be too complicated and you'd be facing a succession of bent plates and splintered cogs

 

[mjr]

To be honest, I've never bought a bike just for the sheer delight of being able to oil it.

Get a hub gear. Injecting oil (most) or semi fluid grease (some Shimano) into a hub gear is strangely enjoyable.

 

[Smokin Joe]

Get a hub gear. Injecting oil (most) or semi fluid grease (some Shimano) into a hub gear is strangely enjoyable.

It might be in Norfolk, but then lots of things...