"I didn't buy a bike to oil it!"

[Sheffield_Tiger]

Jeez..

Customer comes in not a happy bunny. Bought a bike a bit before Xmas and it's squeaking and the brakes catch and don't work well, and the saddle moves

Bike of course is a browny-grey colour and nothing like the original colour, and the chain has a lovely powdery red coating. The saddle has a little movement on the seatpost

"Did you bring it back for it's free first service"
- No I haven't got time for that

"The bike squeaks because of the rust on the chain and the pins and rollers are dry. The bolt on the seat post will probably have bedded in, no problem, that'll be nipped up easily enough. Alhough it's past the first service, if you leave it with me, THIS TIME I'll clean up the chain, re-adjust the brakes and give it a full safety check. I can show you which lube we use, if you wipe down and re-lube your chain every week or so, it'll keep it all smooth and quiet. I use this one myself at this time of year (picks up TF2 wet lube)"
- You what? I didn't buy a brand new bike to have to oil it

"Er..well, all bikes need the chain lubing now and again - do you want to leave a contact number, I'll give you a call when it's all sorted

- You're not goin anywhere near my bike mate, you must think I'm a f'ing idiot

Customer leaves, with a rusty chain still squeaking, a brake just needing a tweak (and probably new pads from the state of the grey paste on the rims) and a saddle still moving

But he was right about the one thing. I did think he was an idiot!

 

[Smokin Joe]

Going by the state of the chains on many bikes I see he isn't the only one to think like that.

 

[glenn forger]

I hear em before I see em.

 

[HLaB]

It was a Pinarello Dogma

 

[Arrowfoot]

The guy must have ridden thousands of miles in 2 months for the lube to run out and the chain to rust.

 

[Sheffield_Tiger]

The guy must have ridden thousands of miles in 2 months for the lube to run out and the chain to rust.

Not really, an entry level machine with no care in all weathers (perhaps kept outside or in a shed), a chain can get a squeak (it was a squeak, not stiff links) and a surface dryness/chain edges rusting pretty quickly

The daftness is that it didn't need anything but a clean, half an hour on the stand to bring back to "as new"

 

[HLaB]

I was out on a ride with a mate when his chain snapped whilst I fixed and said it was a bit dry, he pointed out that the last time he oiled it was when I did it for him in Flanders. That was months earlier he's a really experienced rider but I guess not an experienced mechanic

 

[RoubaixCube]

It was a Pinarello Dogma

what a complete and utter moron.... Ive seen that bike in the flesh and it is a beautiful gem of a bike. Its heartbreaking to see a bike like that get run into the ground by somebody who has no love for it.

 

[fossyant]

A cheap chain won't have the lube Shimano/KMC etc first oil them with.... bloody barstwerards. Glad to get it off.

 

[ColinJ]

I know someone who used to work in a bike shop. Some of the stories he told me were incredible.

For example:

• Somebody returned a road bike which had a buckled front wheel. It was obviously 'crap' because it folded when he rode the bike at speed up over a kerb stone. He had never had a problem doing that on his mountain bike!
• Another bike was 'faulty' because a tyre went flat after a couple of weeks of riding. When the shard of glass embedded in it was pointed out, the owner insisted that lightweight racing bike tyres 'should be glass-proof'!

 

[Sheffield_Tiger]

I know someone who used to work in a bike shop. Some of the stories he told me were incredible.

For example:

• Somebody returned a road bike which had a buckled front wheel. It was obviously 'crap' because it folded when he rode the bike at speed up over a kerb stone. He had never had a problem doing that on his mountain bike!
• Another bike was 'faulty' because a tyre went flat after a couple of weeks of riding. When the shard of glass embedded in it was pointed out, the owner insisted that lightweight racing bike tyres 'should be glass-proof'!

Or - people who ram MTBs at things and say "it's a mountain bike, it should handle kerbs" (without any shifting of rider weight etc..)

 

[alicat]

Someone I used to cycle with reckoned she was going to get one of those Dutch bikes, because 'they don't need any maintenance'.

Spot on. I pump the tyres up of my Giant Expression n3 about every six months. Put some oil on the chain about once a year. And pull the rear wheel back about every two years. And that's it.

 

[Tin Pot]

Not really, an entry level machine with no care in all weathers (perhaps kept outside or in a shed), a chain can get a squeak (it was a squeak, not stiff links) and a surface dryness/chain edges rusting pretty quickly

The daftness is that it didn't need anything but a clean, half an hour on the stand to bring back to "as new"

I kept mine in a garage for two years, rode in sunshine, rarely maintained and not a spot of rust on it.

Started commuting, kept outside - I add a cover when raining - rust patches everywhere. Just getting ready to do my weekly maintenance - it's a good job I enjoy it

 

[Dave 123]

A bike came past me in Cambridge on Thursday, my first instinct was to look up to see where the geese were flying, it sounded awful.

 

[Hip Priest]

• Another bike was 'faulty' because a tyre went flat after a couple of weeks of riding. When the shard of glass embedded in it was pointed out, the owner insisted that lightweight racing bike tyres 'should be glass-proof'!

I once sold a bike to a mate, who started riding to work on it. After a few weeks I asked him if he was still commuting, and he said 'No mate, the wheel's wrecked'. A few months later I went round his house and he pointed out the 'wrecked' wheel, and it was merely punctured.