I gave a friend a lift - now she wants a new pair of jeans.

[subaqua]

She sounds like she wanted to go out in the car with just you

 

[alicat]

his first post stated he hadn't replied, then he posted that he had replied, in between these posts he had plenty of advice telling him to be rude and he was, thats my point, fairly obvious really.

I don't think @tyred has a rude bone in his body.

 

[Spinney]

his first post stated he hadn't replied, then he posted that he had replied, in between these posts he had plenty of advice telling him to be rude and he was, thats my point, fairly obvious really.

OK, hadn't checked the dates.
I'm still not seeing where you got him being rude first from. Asking her how she could be sure, and asking her to come round to see what caused the stain sounds perfectly reasonable to me, not rude.

Just because some people here advised 'robust' responses doesn't mean he did so.

 

[400bhp]

Last Friday night I gave a lift to 3 friends for a night out.

2 friends, not 3.

 

[Spinney]

you were rude, she tried to save face by asking you to valet the car the next time and that's were you should have left it, but you decided to listen to CC where people are happy to give advice with no consequences.

Definite implication there of his rudeness leading to her asking to valet the car.

I never said he was rude first but he ended it badly by being rude when there was an opportunity to just leave it, ...from reading some of Tyred other postings, I never got the impression that he was a have the last word and be rude or obnoxious type but he seems to have followed the advice of the CC feeders, they feed you advice with no consequences.

You really think it's rude and obnoxious for him to suggest she gets her own car if his does not meet with her approval? That is the bit she called rude - I think her whole attitude is rude, not tyred's.

 

[Vantage]

but he seems to have followed the advice of the CC feeders, they feed you advice with no consequences.

talk to the other 2 women, they might be able to shed more light on the situation, they might be able to tell when/time she discovered the stain, then politely tell her to do one

 

[Vantage]

Tyred did say that if his car wasn't good enough for her then she could look into getting her own.
Given that she asked him to valet the car before giving her her next lift, something most people consider a favour, I'm not sure how he could have been nicer.

 

[postman]

Tell her to take a blade and slit them nobody will know any different.

 

[tyred]

I'm just looking at it from what I would do. I was at work when I got the messages. I walk to work, the car was at home. I didn't reply but as soon as I got home, I made a minute examination of the back seat and couldn't find anything that would cause staining. I would actually describe them as being very clean. There was some sand in the footwells from a recent seaside trip with my girlfriend but it wasn't on the seats, sand shouldn't cause stains and she sat on the seat, not the carpet. I definitely wouldn't say the car is dirty.

Personally, if it were me who dirtied clothing in someone else's car, I would not even mention it, I'd be far to polite. If someone's car really was so dirty I felt I couldn't travel in it I would not ask them for lifts (as she has done to me on many occasions), I'd make other arrangements. I definitely wouldn't tell someone to valet their car as it is their property to treat as they please. To do so is IMO very rude and it made me angry which prompted the sarcastic comments about buying her own car.

The weather has mostly been wet and the roads are dirty and messy, the most likely explanation is that she rubbed of the bodywork getting into the back seat which I don't feel is my fault.

 

[swee'pea99]

you were rude, she tried to save face by asking you to valet the car the next time and that's were you should have left it, but you decided to listen to CC where people are happy to give advice with no consequences.

Sorry, he was rude? Are you serious?

she just asked me to valet my car before I next gave her a lift

Gobsmacking.

 

[arch684]

Tell her to buy some vanish stain remover,a lot cheaper than a taxi fare.

 

[alicat]

There's nowt so queer as folk. Get a good night's sleep and perhaps you will be able to laugh at her behaviour tomorrow.

 

[Profpointy]

I'm just looking at it from what I would do. I was at work when I got the messages. I walk to work, the car was at home. I didn't reply but as soon as I got home, I made a minute examination of the back seat and couldn't find anything that would cause staining. I would actually describe them as being very clean. There was some sand in the footwells from a recent seaside trip with my girlfriend but it wasn't on the seats, sand shouldn't cause stains and she sat on the seat, not the carpet. I definitely wouldn't say the car is dirty.

Personally, if it were me who dirtied clothing in someone else's car, I would not even mention it, I'd be far to polite. If someone's car really was so dirty I felt I couldn't travel in it I would not ask them for lifts (as she has done to me on many occasions), I'd make other arrangements. I definitely wouldn't tell someone to valet their car as it is their property to treat as they please. To do so is IMO very rude and it made me angry which prompted the sarcastic comments about buying her own car.

The weather has mostly been wet and the roads are dirty and messy, the most likely explanation is that she rubbed of the bodywork getting into the back seat which I don't feel is my fault.

You're over-thinking it. You might, just about have been slightly rude to a clearly rude and stupid person. Whatever you'd said, or not said would have been deemed wrong so treat her as you would a force of nature rather anyone who can be reasoned with.

That said, I get illogically upset by conflict too, but the above is still true

 

[damj]

Last Friday night I gave a lift to 3 friends for a night out. One of them, who was wearing a pair of pure white designer label jeans has been sending me cheeky messages all day because apparently there is a stain on the back pocket of her white jeans and she says it came from the back seat of my car and she wants me to replace the jeans.

I have just examined the back seat of my car and can see nothing that should stain clothing and have sat on the seat myself and slid from side to side on in in my light blue jeans and they've remained stain free. I admit I am not an obsessive car cleaner but it is cleaner than most, especially in the back as it's rare for anyone to sit there and I never put anything there apart from maybe shopping bags. If I'm carrying anything dirty it goes in the boot, with the seats folded down if required.

I haven't replied yet as I'm unsure what best to say. I've known this girl for a few years without really knowing her that well but she's always been very highly strung and liable to flip her lid and bombard people with hundreds of text messages one after the other if she doesn't get the response she wants.

I can't say for certain that she didn't stain her clothes from my car seat but even if she did, is it really my responsibility? I offered her a lift, I didn't get paid for doing so, surely it is her responsibility to look after her own clothes. How does she know the stain didn't come from the seat in the bar for example?

I can think of occasions were I have stained clothes from sitting on things in bars, in cafes, on buses, in taxis, park benches, etc and it never once occurred to me to demand compensation from someone. I just put it down to one of those things. Is it a reasonable thing to do?

Cheeky bish!

 

[slowmotion]

I just had a lift in somebody's car and I'm worried sick.