I gave a friend a lift - now she wants a new pair of jeans.

[MontyVeda]

Advice to the OP... ignore the text.

 

[wheresthetorch]

I think my response would be "you crack me up", and regard it as a joke. Then ignore any further messages.

 

[Dayvo]

Give her tablespoon of washing powder - then say 'on yer bike.'

 

[roadrash]

I think my response would be feck orf

 

[Yellow Saddle]

I despair.

 

[swee'pea99]

Tell her to come and identify to you the source of the stain on your seat.

Spot on. This puts the ball right back where it belongs - in her court. She can't pretend you're being unreasonable. If she comes, she will fail to find anything. Judging by her actions thus far, it's probably safe to assume she'll then accuse you of having cleaned it, at which point you say bluntly: 'I didn't.' She then has to decide whether to pursue it, knowing she'll get nowhere, or retire with what little is left of her dignity. Your other two friends, meanwhile, can't but see you as having acted more than honourably, leaving the blame where it belongs.

 

[Tin Pot]

Last Friday night I gave a lift to 3 friends for a night out. One of them, who was wearing a pair of pure white designer label jeans has been sending me cheeky messages all day because apparently there is a stain on the back pocket of her white jeans and she says it came from the back seat of my car and she wants me to replace the jeans.

I have just examined the back seat of my car and can see nothing that should stain clothing and have sat on the seat myself and slid from side to side on in in my light blue jeans and they've remained stain free. I admit I am not an obsessive car cleaner but it is cleaner than most, especially in the back as it's rare for anyone to sit there and I never put anything there apart from maybe shopping bags. If I'm carrying anything dirty it goes in the boot, with the seats folded down if required.

I haven't replied yet as I'm unsure what best to say. I've known this girl for a few years without really knowing her that well but she's always been very highly strung and liable to flip her lid and bombard people with hundreds of text messages one after the other if she doesn't get the response she wants.

I can't say for certain that she didn't stain her clothes from my car seat but even if she did, is it really my responsibility? I offered her a lift, I didn't get paid for doing so, surely it is her responsibility to look after her own clothes. How does she know the stain didn't come from the seat in the bar for example?

I can think of occasions were I have stained clothes from sitting on things in bars, in cafes, on buses, in taxis, park benches, etc and it never once occurred to me to demand compensation from someone. I just put it down to one of those things. Is it a reasonable thing to do?

This being a cycling forum I'm thinking you stuck a bike on that seat recently, if so, fairs fair.

Otherwise, this is common. People have different value judgement systems. My wife is always complaining about frenemies like this. Hang out with people who have similar values as you now, or after several years of bickering, later

 

[tyred]

I did reply asking her how could she be certain that she got the stain in my car. She replied that lots of people admired her jeans on Friday night and she has checked with them and there were no stains at the venue so it must have happened in the car on the way home. I then did ask her to come around (she lives about 5 minutes walk away) to show me what caused the stain but she just asked me to valet my car before I next gave her a lift to which I told her that if my car doesn't meet with her approval she could try buying one of her own and she told me I was just being rude and disrespectful and has now blocked me on Facebook.

I know it shouldn't bother me but it does. I've never been good with confrontation and these things always leave me wondering if I could have handled it better.

This girl used to be good friends with my girlfriend and they were really close once but my gf says her drama queen antics does her head in and tries to maintain distance and just tolerates her nowadays rather than be close to her.

The background to the car situation is that she did have a car until last year when it was burned by vandals and ever since she has been begging lifts of people while doing the "poor me, my car was burned and I can't afford to buy a new one" routine ever since although I assume the insurance company would have paid for it and she has had three foreign holidays, this year, apparently endless supply of different outfits and likes to eat out and drink expensive cocktails a lot of the time which suggests to me she could afford a car if it was important to her.

 

[tyred]

This being a cycling forum I'm thinking you stuck a bike on that seat recently, if so, fairs fair.

Otherwise, this is common. People have different value judgement systems. My wife is always complaining about frenemies like this. Hang out with people who have similar values as you now, or after several years of bickering, later

I fold the seats if I put my bike in the car so it would never be in contact with the upholstery and I haven't even done that in ages now that I have a Brompton which can fit in the boot.

 

[roadrash]

I wouldn't lose any sleep over it, don't give her the attention she obviously craves

 

[Drago]

Oh no! She's blocked you on Facebook! How will you ever get over it?

 

[Spinney]

you were rude, she tried to save face by asking you to valet the car the next time and that's were you should have left it, but you decided to listen to CC where people are happy to give advice with no consequences.

Doesn't sound to me like tyred was rude before she asked him to valet the car, and all this happened before he posted on CC - so what is your point?

 

[Moderators]

A few posts have been removed as off topic.

As the stain in question was on the pocket of the jeans, there is no need to mention menstruation again.

 

[alicat]

Sounds like the people who matter to you have got her measure. If she has blocked you on FB then that's a result in my book.

 

[screenman]

She might have rubbed them on the door jam whilst getting in or out, either way the responsibility I would feel was hers.