In my professional opinion...

[Andy_R]

Don't inhale cranflies...swallow them instead.


Edit: or do as I used to do at junior school many many many many moons ago, pull their wings off and keep them in your desk as pets.

 

[EltonFrog]

If your relationship is dead, bury it before it starts to stink.

 

[Radchenister]

Never stay loafing about on internet forums past 11.20pm.

 

[ComedyPilot]

Never start loafing around on internet forums at 04:20 on a Sunday.....

 

[hoopdriver]

What you are reading on the internet is almost certainly a lie

Specifically this statement! :-)

 

[asterix]

If God had really meant us to use computers he'd never have given us Bill Gates.

 

[Archie_tect]

Beans do not make five, and you can bolt a door after your horse has run away.

 

[Fnaar]

Always qualify your gerunds with the possessive

That makes no sense. Can you give us a an example?

In "I like swimming", swimming is a gerund (basically a verb form used as a noun), and there is no need for a possessive.

 

[Arch]

Trying to "teach someone a lesson" never works

This. We occasionally have small wars of nerve with people over the crap they leave in their recycling box, and it's amazing how full of rubbish some boxes can get before we give in and tip the lot out into the dustbin. Or onto the garden, but we'd never do that, no, not ever...


Trying hard to think of some wisdom to share, and failing.

Except that catastrophe ends in an e.



Oh, actually, uses of vinegar - applying to wasp stings, to neutralise the alkalinity. For bee stings, use ammonia. To remember which - use A for B, use V for W.

Dock leaves will relieve nettle sting a little, but only because the juice released by crushing is moist and cooling. Any handful of leaves will do really. Except more nettle.

 

[machew]

75.9% of all statics are made up

 

[theclaud]

All mushrooms are edible, but some only once.

 

[PaulB]

If on Monday it doth rain Tuesday will be fine...or rain again.

 

[Arch]

I was taught bicarbonate of soda for bees and vinegar for wasps.

Bicarb would do, being alkali, the key is that bee sting is acid.

I suppose B for B, V for W still works.

 

[TVC]

Keep well clear of people who wear hats whilst driving.

 

[Rickshaw Phil]

If the oil light illuminates on your car never assume that because there is plenty showing on the dipstick that it is okay to carry on driving.

Edit: Not something I've done BTW, but a client at my old workplace.